“We should all be very angry”: An interview with UK writer, activist, and critic of pediatric transition, Stephanie Davies-Arai

A few days ago, a powerful and unusual piece, “The Transgender Experiment on Kids,” appeared in the Wales Arts Review, written by Stephanie Davies-Arai. The whole article is superb, and rather than my excerpting it here, I recommend everyone read the piece in its entirety at the link.

Stephanie is the author of a blog called Communicating with Kids.  She has recently begun to write critically about the pediatric transition trend. In addition, along with several other gender-critical and women’s rights activists, she submitted written evidence to the UK Parliament’s Women and Equalities Committee, which conducted a televised hearing two days ago (October 13) into issues related to “transgender rights.”

Stephanie Davies-Arai

I interviewed Stephanie via email yesterday, with particular emphasis on the current situation regarding childhood transition in the United Kingdom.

Stephanie will respond to any questions or remarks you may have for her in the comments section of this post.

Thank you, Stephanie, for your important work!


Tell us something about your background and why you are interested in the issue of pediatric transition.

My specialist area is communication. I teach communication skills to parents and teachers. In the past I worked with a wide range of kids in primary school, for eight years, on relationship and communication issues. Part of my work was designing and implementing whole school anti-bullying strategies and behaviour management strategies based on respect. So through this work I learned a lot about how kids behave and how they absorb messages, from parents and teachers but also more subtly from the wider culture.

I am very specifically experienced in how children understand our messages to them, and how we understand what children are saying. I have worked training parents and teachers for over 16 years now, and I see the miscommunication (which goes both ways) very clearly! I am continually researching areas like neuroscience, anthropology, behavioural psychology and so on as part of my work. As my children have grown, I have become more and more interested in cultural messages that kids unconsciously imbibe.

How does your expertise specifically relate to the issue of pediatric transition?

I have four children and over their childhoods there was this very sudden aggressive marketing of extreme gendered toys – it was like we’ve gone backwards in forcing kids into really restrictive stereotypes. I felt angry especially on behalf of girls who were being pushed back into a ‘Stepford Wives’ role through ‘girl’ toys and books. It’s cultural indoctrination into rigid gender roles from the earliest age, when we should really be working to expand the definition of what both girls and boys can be. The transgender movement takes gender stereotyping to its logical conclusion: if you don’t like all this ‘girl’ stuff then you must be a boy.

I worked on the No More Page 3 campaign for over two years (for those who don’t know, ‘Page 3’ was a daily topless photo of a young woman in British national newspaper the Sun) and during this time I researched and refined my understanding of how media messages influence and condition us. The blanket uncritical media coverage of ‘trans kids’ in the UK – it’s all brave and cute and heartwarming – is shocking and irresponsible. Nobody is actually researching and challenging what we are doing to kids. Every gushing media and t.v. report convinces more parents, kids and young people that an ideology held by a few people is in fact a reality. The potential consequences for these kids are so horrific I feel a responsibility to speak out.

Modern parenting culture teaches us that children are psychologically fragile and therefore need constant affirmation of their reality and ‘who they really are.’ We are encouraged to centre feelings and self-identity in kids who don’t yet have a developed ‘self’ – so we burden kids with this expectation of self-knowledge which they don’t yet possess. Current parenting advice is ‘child-centred’ or ‘child-led’ and it became very clear to me over my years of working with kids that this approach results in a combination of insecurity and narcissism.

Children exist in a state of ‘magical thinking’ and if we take what they say seriously as ‘truth’ we can create problems that previously did not exist. This is what I see happening with all sorts of issues. The trans issue is just currently the most harmful and prevalent example.

You write your own blog, as well as for the Huffington Post UK.  Why did you choose to publish your recent piece in a more obscure journal like the Wales Arts Review?

I’ve blogged for various parenting sites, including Mumsnet and Mommy HotSpot, and other online magazines/blogs. I did submit my piece to HuffPo, but they didn’t publish. I then approached Wales Arts Review because they had been very happy to publish my last controversial piece criticising the recent political move towards decriminalising the sex industry. Wales Arts Review is left-leaning so I thought if they published that they might publish this! They were very enthusiastic, and I’m very grateful to them, because the popular press is not challenging the trans narrative.

Why do you think major news outlets shy away from articles critical of the current trend to transition children?

Bullying, in a word. The tactics of trans activists are classic bullying techniques: quash all debate with accusations of ‘transphobia’ so nobody dares to speak up. ‘TERF,’ ‘bigot,’ ‘hate speech’ – all these accusations silence people and in some cases make them genuinely afraid of losing their jobs. If you look at how ‘trans’ has become a protected category politically, it’s not surprising that people are afraid.

Nearly every day, there is another story promoting the idea that ‘gender nonconforming’ kids need to ‘transition.’  What can concerned parents who aren’t on board with this actually do to change things?

Find your blog for a start! It’s hard for parents to speak out, for the same reasons as above, but also to protect their kids’ anonymity, so they need support groups of people who are questioning this. I do think that parents should arm themselves with as much information as possible and challenge schools who are teaching not just the ‘trans’ child, but their child too. I know this is really difficult though, you’d really need a bunch of parents to join forces because you wouldn’t want to risk being ostracised from the group. Parents can also write to their local education authority, or local M.P. [member of parliament] to voice concerns about what their child is being taught in school.

What kind of organizations are there in the UK that push transition for kids?

There are over 150 transgender support groups in the UK;  ‘Mermaids’ is the most prominent. In the States there seem to be so many support groups set up by late-transitioning men; over here we have ‘All About Trans’ whose ambassador is Paris Lees, in my view quite clearly an autogynophiliac male (both in his appearance and his words). But generally these groups are set up by parents of ‘trans’ kids already fully on board with trans ideology. Mermaids was set up by the mother of a ‘trans’ child and the Gender Identity Research & Education Society (GIRES) was set up by a couple with a transsexual daughter; this group is a politically influential lobbying group. I don’t know of any support group set up by professionals outside the trans community. I am horrified by NHS guidelines, which are written from the unquestioned basis that gender non-conforming behaviour is a problem. The Tavistock and Portman Clinic is the main authority in this area, and I was heartened to see Dr Polly Carmichael, the consultant clinical psychologist, urging caution in a recent Guardian online article about transgender kids.

Does the UK fully pay for all aspects of medical transition–hormones, surgeries, etc? At what age?

Puberty blockers (potentially from age 9 if there is early puberty) hormone treatment and surgery are all available on the NHS.

Does the NHS promote the idea that puberty blockers are totally reversible? Do you agree with that assertion, and if not, why not?

The NHS Choices website states: ‘The effects of treatment with GnRH analogues are considered to be fully reversible.’ Although the Tavistock and Portman clinic was instrumental in introducing them as treatment, Dr Polly Carmichael’s latest statement in the Guardian was that ‘nothing is completely reversible’ so there’s a different message from the top gender clinic. I agree with Dr Carmichael – the fact is, we know of the potential harmful side-effects of these drugs on adults and yet we’re willing to administer them to kids. As you know, there have been no rigorous clinical research trials to ensure the safety of these drugs in this specific area.

I was pretty disturbed by the article about the Penguin storybooks being used to teach preschoolers about “gender.” Is anyone in the UK pushing back on this stuff? What are they doing?

I haven’t seen any specific challenge to the proposed re-education of children in schools, but various feminist groups and individuals (myself included) have submitted concerns about transgender rights v women’s rights to the Women & Equalities Select Committee.  We are still awaiting their conclusions. However, in my area there is already a schools ‘Toolkit’ and training available http://www.allsortsyouth.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Trans-Inclusion-Schools-Toolkit.pdf, low on science, high on propaganda. This horrifies me. Where are the biology teachers in all this?

What would you do if one of your own kids announced to you that they are trans?

Well, one of my sons reminded me recently that when he was in his mid-teens he had told me seriously that he thought he might really be a girl. He had always hung out with girls. He was accepted into the girls’ group as ‘an honorary girl’ and he went on holiday with them once and spent the whole week dressed in girls’ clothes and wearing make-up. I had completely forgotten he had ever voiced his concerns to me, but he said he was forever grateful for my response, which was to say carelessly ‘No you’re not, you’re just a bit more sensitive than a lot of boys.’  My son’s reaction was real surprise and relief; then he thought about it and said ‘But Mum I don’t know any boys like me’ and I apparently said ‘Yeah, you just haven’t met them yet.’ He told me that he went away from this exchange feeling that he was normal, but just a bit different. He said with a laugh ‘I still haven’t met any boys like me Mum!’ He is heterosexual and he does care work, he is that sort of personality. He told me that he was mostly grateful for my total lack of worry and concern. The fact that I didn’t act like it was a huge deal told him that it wasn’t a huge deal.

That would be my advice to any parent: be confident of what you know and your right (and responsibility) to say it, unscare yourself first, and don’t burden your kids with your own worry and concern (I know that’s not easy by the way). Don’t lecture, or try to convince or persuade. The less you try to force it, the more you sound like you know what you’re talking about. In the end, you want to keep the communication channels open, that’s the most important thing.

Anything else to add?

We need to recognise the fact that the language has changed over the last decade from ‘transsexual’ to ‘transgender.’ Nobody seems to have questioned the significance of this change.

‘Transsexual’ literally means a change in biological sex: it’s used to describe a small group of people who suffer extreme body dysmorphia, where the body is experienced as disgusting and wrong to the extent that a ‘sex change operation’ has been shown to be a valid way to ease suffering.

‘Transgender’ on the other hand, is a subjective term. The meaning of the word ‘gender’ is open to interpretation; some interpret it as social roles imposed on the sexes, some people think it is innate ‘natural’ characteristics of the sexes. In either case it is an abstract idea, not a biological fact. To ‘trans’ gender means going from one subjective undefined idea to the supposed ‘opposite’ subjective undefined idea.

We are saying that kids are transgender, and yet we are treating them as transsexual  (a term we would hesitate to apply to children). Transgender is a very convenient word to obscure what we’re really doing, which is changing children’s biological sex, not their gender.

Along with the change in language has been a change in the claim made that a ‘trans woman’ for example, is a real woman, was always a woman, and is no different to any other woman. Transsexuals did not (and do not) make this claim.

We have absolutely no idea what we’re doing, and yet we’re prepared to allow this very recent niche ideology to justify the butchering of healthy bodies of young people. We should all be very angry.

92 thoughts on ““We should all be very angry”: An interview with UK writer, activist, and critic of pediatric transition, Stephanie Davies-Arai

  1. Check out the New York Times article published this week (in the fashion section no less) titled “Where Have All the Tomboys Gone?” http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/15/fashion/where-have-all-the-tomboys-gone.html?ref=fashion&_r=0

    [http://static01.nyt.com/images/2015/10/15/fashion/15TOMBOY/15TOMBOY-facebookJumbo.jpg]

    Where Have All the Tomboys Gone? The phase of female life that “tomboy” denotes, even the idea that it is a phase, is falling out of fashion. Read more…

    ________________________________

  2. Ms. Davies-Arai’s article is demonstrative of a real threat to our youth that being acceptance of the trans narrative (e.g., the stale-dated, sixty year old theory of being born in the wrong body) without any tangible evidence, reason, nor how it rides with our innate sensibilities.

    What England and North America needs is local non-profit organizations, that are political in focus; that holds the medical community accountable to demonstrate results; that demands qualitative research, showing the introduction of puberty blocking medication is tangibly beneficial for trans youth over the long run.

    England and North America need a strong voice in opposition to Riki Wilchin’s Gender PAC, and other advocacy groups who would seek to infect the youth as they, themselves, were infected when they were five-years-old and learning what thoughts spur sexual arousal. It is time to put the brakes on sacrosanct faith without evidence that GRS procedures are beneficial to a trans person’s health and genuinely relieves suffering in general.

    Transsexualism deserved to be scrutinized far more so than it is today. Transsexualism needs to be put trial and the logic behind what is otherwise a religious cult mentality that advances gender identity disorder as the accepted theory behind the trans narratives, when clearly GID is fundamentally flawed insofar as explaining the life story of many, many trans people.

    In 2016 I plan to produce a documentary film on the transsexual phenomenon entitled, The Transsexual Delusion, as a follow up on a book of the same name I published in 2008 with a number of other journalists.

    In the book I look at transsexualism as a behavioral addiction, much like a sex addiction, Internet addiction or pathological gambling addiction, which is caused by a faulty reward system in the human brain. I, also, report that the medications that effectively treat behavioral addictions show good results in treating the underlying addictive nature of transsexualism. Further, a study by Jan Wålinder [Göteborg, Sweden], dated 1967, shows that epilepsy is effectively absent in transsexuals, who are successfully treated for epileptic seizures with anticonvulsant medications, according to 207 case studies dating back to 1954.

    I found that male-to-female transsexuals that were effectively treated for ancillary mental disorders and took anticonvulsant medications, watched their proclivities towards a gender transition evaporate within 21 days of taking the medication, indicating the underlying cause of transsexualism is in fact an addiction, e.g., a mental disorder, that can be effectively treated with medication. As children are susceptible to addiction the same treatment would likely work on them.

    Also significant is the male-to-female ratio of transsexualism. In 1967 Wålinder observed the male-to-female ratio of transsexualism as 2.8 to 1. It is now generally accepted that the male-to-female ratio of transsexualism is 3 to 1, which is virtually the same as pathological gambling addiction (2.8 to 1) and sex addiction (3 to 1).

    If anyone reading this in the feminist space could connect me to open-minded feminists who are somewhat skeptical of transgenderism and are taken aback of trans incursion onto what is generally respected as female space as well as feminists who are otherwise open to trans inclusion, let me know. I am trying to line up interviews.

    Yours very truly,
    G Eugene Pichler
    Transgression Film Studios
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada

    You may contact me here:
    http://www.transgression.com/Contact/?LanguageCode=en-CA

    • At this point, using anti-convulsants for gender dysphoria is experimental. We have less data on it than we do for blockers, hormones, and transition. This is not something parents should try.

      • I would try this any day over blockers, hormones, and transition.

        I read the blip on that book. This makes so much sense to me. While I don’t know squat about this stuff ultimately, there is a ton of mental illness and addiction in my family. A family member admitted AGP thoughts to me that were gone after being treated for bipolar.

    • sorry but that is disgusting. turning people in to walking zombies because they are trans is totaly wronge. in the 1950s they used the same technical ideas to try and cure homosexuality.

      • Trans has nothing to do with homosexuality. You find gay animals in nature but you don’t find mammals displeased with the bits they were born with and trying to change into the opposite. And no one says this will turn anyone into a walking zombie. As if they’re firing on all cylinders NOW.

        Anyway, they’d have to consent to the treatment. No one in their right mind would want to force this on anybody else.

      • I don’t agree that trans has nothing to do with homosexuality. Children demonstrating considerable gender non-conformity in childhood (the “persistent” non-conformity medical “experts” say is necessary for a GID diagnosis, as if they’re not diagnosing it in girls who don’t like shaving their legs — Gavin Grimm) almost inevitably grow up to be gay and lesbian. Or they would if they weren’t being treated with neo gay reparative therapy.

      • Agreed! Actually, there are a lot of similarities between the bigoted “gay conversion therapies” and the bigoted “transition therapies.”

        http://jonahmix.com/2015/01/04/we-condemn-ex-gay-conversion-therapy-why-not-transition/
        “Both transition and conversion therapy exist for individuals who are engaging in behaviors that are not allowed by their designation inside the heteropatriarchy. For gender non-conforming males or females, it’s identification with the presentation and mannerisms of the other sex; for homosexuals, it’s same-sex love.

        Both transition and conversion therapy have the end goal of an individual who is aligned with their designation inside the heteropatriarchy. Gender non-conforming males are supposedly transformed into gender conforming females and vice versa, while gays and lesbians become heterosexuals.

        Both are about altering an individual – whether psychologically, behaviorally, or chemically – to fit socially constructed stereotypes. Males who transition are encouraged to act with “feminine” mannerism, just as females who go through the same process are taught to ape masculinity. Homosexuals endure the comparable experience of being indoctrinated into traditional heterosexual notions of desire.

        Both trade in essentialist notions of “true” orientation or “true” gender. Much like young trans folks are taught that they have an “inner woman” or “inner man”, homosexuals are encouraged to see their desire as an illegitimate aberration of a fundamental heterosexuality.”

      • While I am skeptical of a study I haven’t read that dates from 1967, it bears mentioning that anti-convulsants for epilepsy – drugs such as divalproate sodium and lamotrigine – have also been found to be useful as mood stabilizers in the treatment of bipolar disorder. If these drugs are found to ease the dysphoria of trans individuals, it lends credibility to the hypothesis that this is a psychiatric disorder.

      • You have it backwards… Encouraging a boy who enjoys “girly” things to medically transition, is exactly like trying to cure homosexuality with conversion therapy. In our patriarchal society, boys aren’t supposed to like “girly” things so lots of bigots would greatly prefer for “effeminate” boys to claim to be girls.

        In the middle east, gay people are stoned to death while the sex change surgeries are encouraged and free (no payment required).

    • I am in Toronto also, though I am shy about talking to you as I work for the government, and my opinions are contrary to our official policies. Like you, I am interested in finding gender critical feminists in Toronto. So far, I have only found my people on line.

      I am struggling to find the courage to speak out more about this. Good luck with your film! You can expect a massive pushback from people like Cheri DiNovo, the NDP MPP who is an aggressive defender of the trans community, who pushed through that “anti conversion therapy” legislation in response to the lobbying of activists against the gender identity clinic at CAMH, who have the temerity to try and practice evidence-based medicine.

      • Double X Marks The Spot,
        Given your position in the public sector, I would be amenable to keeping your identity confidential in any conversations. If you change your mind contact me at the URL below:

        http://www.transgression.com/Contact/?LanguageCode=en-CA

        Regarding conversion therapy at the CAMH, the Gender Identity Clinic at the CAMH employs a clinical researcher who herself is a male-to-female transsexual. The individual had worked at the GIC prior to her gender transition. No one questioned whether she should be transferred to a department where she could be arms length. The clinician I speak of sees to it that anyone who qualifies for a publicly funded GRS procedure gets it and even answers to the criticism of the harry benjamin international gender dysphoria association (HBIGDA) when the numbers of approved GRS procedures in Ontario dips.

        You have to ask yourself, if you were operating a clinic for anorexics, would you want the head clinician/therapist to be an untreated anorexic? If the medical community did not currently regard anorexia nervosa as a mental disorder, we would be inundated with the virtues of Gastric Bypass Surgery to treat obesity. We would hear the word, suffering, from the anorexic community when one of its members is denied a publicly funded Gastric Bypass surgical procedure.

        I am sorry but a GRS procedure, which fortunately I did not undergo, is not an effective treatment for so-called gender dysphoria. The whole disorder is politically shaped and articulated by the LGBT advocacy groups-the same political force that gives credence to psychiatrist John Money of Johns Hopkins University Hospital. John Money first articulated Gender Dysphoria as a disorder. You may recall John Money was the psychiatrist famous for the John/Joan case, which ended in a double suicide of both Reimer twins, David and Brian.

        Yours very truly,
        G Eugene Pichler
        Transgression Film Studios
        Toronto, Ontario, Canada

      • I’ve spent months talking to people on all sides of this Eugene. It’s incredibly convoluted to say the least. Trans people have often explained it to me with the same canned rhetoric of it being easier for them to change themselves than for “society” to change. So apparently they believe they are doing this for our comfort because we aren’t friendly enough towards them for being who they really are. This explanation makes zero sense, but they all seem to believe it strongly. It reeks of a cult.

        And it is becoming downright dangerous for anyone to speak up about it.

  3. I am willing to put time and effort into building a grass roots organisation or movement of parents and concerned individuals who are willing to begin the task of strategically challenging the indocrination of children into this cult. This includes questioning and challenging Local Education Authorities as well as the NHS here in the UK. 4thwavenow has my email address should you wish to contact me, Stephanie.

    • What a wonderful interview. Finally there is someone speaking the truth from a balanced, scientific viewpoint, without an agenda. The whole problem so far, at least in the UK, is that policy making and even changes to legislation has been driven and made with input by transgender interested
      groups such as GIRES and Mermaids, both of which were set up by relatives of transgender individuals.

      There is so much mis-information, so much hype from the TV and media. The Channel 4 series is entitled ”Born In the Wrong Body”, as if that were an accepted fact.

      No-one wishes transgender people to be discriminated against in the work place, in education , in health matters or their daily lives, but their campaigning has gone beyond the boundaries of what is tolerable to other groups, most notably women and children. In the UK the Transgender Equality Enquiry has recently heard written and oral evidence from many contributors including Sheila Jeffreys as detailed here at Gender Trender https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2015/10/14/written-evidence-submitted-by-sheila-jeffreys-to-the-transgender-equality-inquiry/#comment-61788

      The trans lobbyists requests include ”self-determination” of gender; which means that official documents such as birth-certificate can be legally changed without application to a Gender Recognition Panel; the removal of the ”spousal-veto”, which means that a married partner can legally change sex and gender markers within a marriage without consulting the spouse; access of trans women who have not under gone surgery to all women’s spaces including public toilets and refuges. The mantra for this is the ”born in the wrong body” and the thin end of the wedge that is needed to give credence to that is the trans-gendering of children.

      It is time to move forward together to counteract this madness.

      • I have just been reading the Government’s own submission to the committee. It contains a pretty clear hint that they are not planning to remove the ‘spousal veto’: ‘Marriage is a contract between two individuals and it is right that both spouses should have an equal say in their future when there is a fundamental change.’ (p. 7)

      • Despite my general feelings about transgenderism, I have to say I object to spousal vetoes in matters having to do with an individual’s own body. However, I would be fine with a law that said your spouse’s choosing to transition physically would be grounds for immediate granting of divorce, should you choose to petition for such. That way Mister Precious gets to do what he wants and Ms. Survivor-of-Narcissist can move on with her life.

      • I agree Dana. I can’t think of anything where a spouse should have that kind of veto power. What about, as another example, the case of a wife who wants an abortion? Should we allow the spouse to stop her? Granted, that would be a heartbreaking situation for the spouse, but it’s still the mother’s body and nobody else should have that kind of control over it. Not even a spouse.

      • Dana and gwenkingsley: As I understand it ‘spousal veto’ is the emotive name given by transactivists in the UK to a provision in the law that says that a married person/person in a civil partnership cannot obtain a Gender Recognition Certificate without a signed declaration of consent from their partner. In cases where the partner refuses to sign such a declaration, an interim certificate is issued, and either the applicant or their spouse can use this to have the marriage annulled, whereupon a full certificate is issued. So it is not actually a ‘veto’: it ensures that no one can change their legal sex/gender without informing their partner, and giving their partner a chance to end the marriage if they wish.

      • To add to Artemisia’s comment, the ‘veto’ applies *only* to the granting of a change in legal gender via the Gender Recognition Certificate. A person’s spouse has no legal powers in relation to their taking hormones, having surgeries, changing their name via deed poll, etc etc. I think it’s entirely fair that a person’s spouse has an official ‘out clause’ at the point of legal change- it in no way prevents the transitioning person from ultimately gaining their GRC.

      • Dear “Atranswidow”,
        Can you please contact me? I am the ex-wife of a transgender sufferer living in the UK. Like you I am deeply sceptical about whether he received the right treatment for his mental problems. I am horrified that the evidence which I might have given was never sought by any medical authority, although I was his wife of 14 years and we share two children. I have also subscribed to the Transgendertrend.com blog.

        Dear 4thwave moderator,
        If “atranswidow” agrees, could you please put me in touch with her?

    • Naefearty, If I can do anything to help please count me in. I do not live there at the present but I have time and motivation.

    • Naefearty,
      Mark Angelo Cummings of Transition Radio New Mexico and I are currently talking about creating a non-profit organization to advocate for the ethical medical treatment of trans exhibiting youth based in Washington, D.C. We may call the organization the Society for the Ethical Treatment of Transgender Exhibiting Youth (SETTEY). Please contact me at the URL below to stay in touch.

      http://www.transgression.com/Contact/?LanguageCode=en-CA

      Yours very truly,
      G Eugene Pichler
      Transgression Film Studios
      Toronto, Ontario, Canada

      • eugene, I’m curious as to how you became involved with this. What is your motivation for being involved?

        I’m very cautious about who I align myself with because there are some groups out there who want to see change for reasons I cannot get on board with.

      • Please reconsider the name for your organization. Transgender child narratives frequently will point to a female child’s wish for short hair or a male child playing with dolls as evidence of an underlying gender identity issue. These behaviors shouldn’t be seen as “transgender exhibiting” — they are perfectly normal and should not be pathologized.

    • Another idea I have is to create and push for our own alternatives. We might not get too far with challenging this directly. Some people are holding on so tightly to their ideologies that they won’t even entertain other ideas. They only see our concern as hateful and phobic. They even accuse us of disguising our supposed hatred with fake concern.

      And I might also hold on tight to my beliefs if I felt so strongly. These people think they are helping people. They can’t imagine they could be doing harm because their intentions are so noble.

      The “movement” is so successful because the activists are addressing every single aspect of this issue. They have support groups for parents and kids. Treatment clinics are opening up all over the place. They talk to schools. They get the government to create favorable policies. Meanwhile if we say we want something else we only get told this is “THE” best thing. I don’t think it is the best thing at all. I’m more than willing to be wrong about that, but how will we know if we don’t try other things? These treatments aren’t exactly a picnic. That part is glossed over.

      I don’t know how many out there feel as we do. If we don’t have enough people and enough influence, we won’t change it directly. So, maybe we can go our own way and maybe that will get people to consider what we have to say. And if not, at least we have created another option. And at the very least, we can be a source of support for those who feel the way we do which is something that is definitely lacking.

      • Ms. Kingsley (@gwenkingsley),
        I apologize for replying to this posting rather than the one with your question about my background. For some reason no reply button appears below your posting above.

        In any event I recently published a biography that explains exactly how I became involved in the transgender community at the URL below:
        http://www.transgression.com/About/Authors/BiographyPichler/?LanguageCode=en-CA

        After publishing the book, The Transsexual Delusion, from 2009 through 2014 I had no interest with the trans topic whatsoever. Instead, I largely worked on developing out a small business based in Toronto, Ontario. I largely watched Baseball during the Summer and Hockey over the Winter. I also spent enormous amounts of time restoring a number of family properties as well.

        When in 2014 I saw a US tabloid publish an article speculating that Bruce Jenner was a male-to-female transsexual, pursuing a gender transition, I decided to re-engage in the trans space. I was somewhat shocked to see the trans phenomenon to reach epidemic proportions. I decided to modernize the site, transgression.com, and produce a documentary film based on the book published in 2009. In effect I decided to reach out to you and others like you, who have an interest in the topic, who are not themselves trans.

        Sadly, self-identifying transsexuals in the Greater Toronto Area, who knew me by a different name, an alias, many who once regarded me as either a friend and a friendly acquaintance, now largely regard me with hateful disdain. They are livid that I am advocating a position that pathologizes what they regard as a natural condition at birth, like left-handedness.

        Yours very truly,
        G Eugene Pichler
        Transgression Film Studios

  4. Hi Stephanie. Loved the article in Wales Arts Review and your written testimony submitted to the Trans Inquiry. Great work!

    Since you are taking questions in comments here, I was wondering if you would share your impressions as an expert in childhood communication on the “Rosetta Stones” created by Jenn Burleton’s TransActive organization. They purported to serve as a translation, for parents and other adults of the ideas that children were communicating:

    https://gendertrender.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/rosetta_stone_2-jenn-burleton.pdf

    Thank you for your time.

    • Ooh I could go through all those ‘adult translations’ and change them – they should be called ‘adult with an agenda translations.’ Number 1 for example: “I’m a girl outside, but a boy inside” means “I look like a girl but the things I like doing are (apparently) ‘boy’ things.” I will go through them all and change them when I get a chance – thank you! This is actually a great resource (or will be when I’ve finished with it).

  5. Stephanie, I received this as an anonymous question from a parent on my Tumblr blog and they asked me to pass it along to you:
    First, thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking up. I think it is harder to deal with teenagers than it was when your son was younger because of the Internet reinforcing the idea that they are trans and transition is the only way they can be happy. What is your advice for dealing with a young adult who is transitioning when you think they are making the wrong decision?

    • Yes, absolutely, the conversation with my son must have happened around eight years ago and I don’t think there was anything like the number of tumblr forums and youtube transition videos back then as there are now (plus the adult collusion in the form of t.v. and media reports). Teenagers are driven to make their own decisions and really need our respect and trust in that, but that doesn’t mean we tiptoe around them either, it’s a balance. If we speak with a simple authority about facts we know, they are more likely to listen – think about how you would give instructions on how to make a cake, quite matter-of-fact and confident, no heavy emotions, no need to persuade or convince. That just makes it more likely the information will go in (although you might not get instant acknowledgment that it has, this is where the trust comes in – you’ve planted a seed, it may be germinating below the surface). It helps to take a deep breath before speaking – inhale and exhale once – because that helps you to step back and speak from your executive brain rather than your primitive brain (which speaks from anxiety, fear etc). It doesn’t matter if you do sometimes speak emotionally, but just that if you always do your teen will instantly switch off. They have enough primitive emotions of their own to handle, they really can’t deal with too much of other people’s too. But an occasional blow-up can clear the air, so don’t feel you have to be perfect. Talk honestly from ‘I’ – ‘I’m concerned about..’ ‘I find it hard to watch…’ etc rather than ‘You’ – ‘you’ll regret this’ ‘you don’t know what you’re doing’ etc. Make sure there are also times when you just acknowledge what they are saying without making any judgment so that they know they can just talk to you and be heard. If your teen just doesn’t talk about it, don’t be afraid to sometimes ask them questions and have conversations about the wider issue, not just focused on them personally – ‘It seems that loads of teens are identifying as trans now – why is that do you think..?’ and invite them to tell you about it from their perspective. Talk about the even wider perspective that you know – ‘but I’m worried it’s just Big Pharma exploiting kids for their own profit…’ and see where it goes. Teens tend to be interested in larger social justice issues – there was a study about what’s effective in stopping kids from smoking, and the Big Evil Companies exploiting poor people argument won hands down as the most effective. Just make sure you really know your facts first. A good relationship and open communication is really important, but that doesn’t mean always biting your tongue. Teens respect you if you confidently speak your own truth as well as listening to theirs. I hope that’s helped, I will write this in a blog at some point. Good luck and lots of love and support.

  6. Good interview, covered a lot of ground. Of course it is totally shocking that transgenderism is enforcing strict sex stereotypes on children, who are all still in their formative years.

    We are saying that kids are transgender, and yet we are treating them as transsexual (a term we would hesitate to apply to children).

    There are quite a number of mental health issues that, due to professional guidelines, are refrained from diagnosis in children. But with ‘transgenderism’, this guideline is completely over-ruled.

    Transgender is a very convenient word to obscure what we’re really doing, which is changing children’s biological sex, not their gender.

    It is impossible to change biological sex, all that is done in these supposed ‘sex changes’ are to mask the characteristics of biological sex, either by plastic surgery, hormones, or both. A DNA test of any transsexual will reveal their original chomosomal make-up, no matter what their presentation/appearance.

    Getting back to the ‘girls toys/boys toys’ business—this completely undoes the work of the second wave feminists who fought against ‘fast-tracking’ children into feminine or masculine gender roles—and they did have some success, before the backlash. Even as short as a few years ago, Hamleys ‘demarcated’ the “girl/boy” zones. So transgenderism is the ultra-agrressive backlash of feminist views (particularly as it pertains to child rearing).

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/christmas/8953771/Toys-for-boys-and-girls-are-a-no-no-at-Hamleys.html

    Transgenderism is anti-feminist to its core. And that would be its entire purpose (as a backlash), you only have to see how swiftly transgender rights were codified into law. As for women’s suffrage, that took generations. The difference of course, is that most transgenders (and transsexuals) are male-born.

    • The FTTs are catching up though. I have a feeling they would have passed protective laws just as quickly since it’s just “silly” females realizing that the patriarchy was right about them all along and converting to the other team. “We all knew them butch lezzies was really men anyway.”

    • Transgender is a very convenient word to obscure what we’re really doing, which is changing children’s biological sex, not their gender.

      I stumbled over that sentence, too, though I’ve taken it as a shorthand way to communicate the mismatch between stated goal and actions taken, which is indeed a mismatch that’s sickly ironic.

      What concerns me most about medical transition, and especially about pediatric transition, is that it’s a process that can never end and a process that doesn’t come close to delivering what the subjects expect. They don’t become the opposite sex. They become scarred pretenders for life, always in need of medication and special doctoring.

      However earnestly transactivists say they’re happy in their transitioned states and however much they warn us that scads of kids will kill themselves if they don’t get whizzed immediately into such blissful states, when they’re “off duty” they certainly seem to complain a lot about the specialized maintenance they require and the miseries they endure. They express a lot of resentment toward those who haven’t wanted to transition because their lives are so easy in comparison. They even seem to expect those who haven’t wanted to transition to make up for the disappointments and dissatisfactions of those who have, something that’s not possible.

      As for the kids wanting to transition, they often seem to expect it to solve all their problems, to eliminate all causes of unhappiness and insecurity, and to make all of their dreams come true forever. They expect to come out of it gorgeous and glamorous and popular and to remain so without effort forever, a medicalized parody of the caterpillar > butterfly metaphor commonly applied to adolescence. And meanwhile, it terminates with prejudice the real task of adolescence: finding yourself. Instead, you find somebody else and learn ways of getting others to pretend along with you that the somebody else is really you.

      • TG, Your last paragraph is a perfect evocation of the way kids think. This is the thing. It could all be fantasy to them. And we wouldn’t even know it.

      • Hah! Yes, but that is just it. We are only slicing, dicing, and medicating. There is no real deep change. Maybe someday we will have such magical powers. As of now? We do not.

      • gwenkingsly, I honestly hope we never have such magical powers! What a mixed up world that would be.

      • “Yes of course it’s impossible to change biological sex, perhaps I should have put that in inverted commas!”

        It wasn’t a huge criticism really, but a common ‘slip’ by those that are transgender-critical. ‘Gender change / gender affirmation surgery / sex change surgery’ are all smoke and mirrors. Biological sex is just a fact that all humans are born with, whether female, male, or intersex.

        You will find that the use of scare quotes becomes somewhat commonplace, when dealing with transgenderism. 😉

      • Gotta say, once I start with inverted commas on this topic, I find it’s hard to know where to stop. So much is invention, so much is allegorical, so much is forced meaning, that it’s hard to parse a coherent thought that bridges transactivists’ concepts with anyone else’s.

        And now that there are transactivist academics and allied academics labeling “male” and “female” as hate speech and trying to get universities to penalize students for using those terms… both punctuation and words fail me.

  7. Thank you, Stephanie!

    Whenever someone voices an objection to the “trans-ing” of children, the response is invariably, “If you don’t let these kids transition, they’ll kill themselves! Forcing a child to go through the ‘wrong’ puberty is a death sentence.” No doubt you’ve been on the receiving end of this sort of talk. How do you respond?

    I would also like to add that I am absolutely abhorred every time I hear the phrase “born in the wrong body.” I’ve mentioned this in another thread here, but I think it is worth repeating. Disability rights activists would be SCREAMING if the March Of Dimes or the Easter Seals ran an ad campaign showing a child in a wheelchair with the caption: “This is Jack. He was born in the wrong body. Please help!!!” Yet, it is perfectly acceptable to use this kind of language when describing a gender dysphoric child. I have a background in child psychology; I know how damaging it can be to a young person if they hear over and over and over again that there is something terribly wrong with them. These messages are reinforced when parents are regularly taking the kids to doctors for highly invasive medical treatments to “fix” them. It’s no wonder these kids hate themselves!

    • The other angle on the “born in the wrong body” thing is YOUR BRAIN IS PART OF YOUR BODY. It is scientifically impossible for it to be “in the wrong body” because it is PART of that body. Same DNA, perfect tissue match to all other organs. There is not, as far as we can tell, a separate “you” from the rest of your body that could possibly have been sent to the wrong place. Your brain is it, and your brain is exactly where it belongs.

      Even if someone has a genetically or developmentally atypical body, their body developed exactly as their genes or their developmental milieu have told it to do. A person with AIS has developed exactly right for a genetic male who is missing his SRY gene, for example; likewise a person with Down syndrome has turned out exactly as trisomy 21 would indicate.

      And when it comes to a thing that we have made up whole cloth, that isn’t even biological? No-brainer. You can’t be genetically programmed for it because gender isn’t genetic, and you can’t have your brain be one gender and your body the other, again because gender is not genetic. As for physical sex, as we know, they haven’t conclusively proved there are male and female brains, and no one has yet come forward and proven to be a genetic chimera where their brain has all X chromosomes and the rest of their body has all Y.

      But then if these people were scientifically literate we wouldn’t be needing to have this discussion.

      • Or look into ASD, and issues with “working memory”.

        Your body’s fine.
        Your brain is…struggling.

        The neural information relayed between conscious mind and fleshy body is coming in staggered or delayed or just failing to get logged in and checked off on a subconscious “body map” before new information reaches it to be logged.

        This “body map” has nothing to do with your sex at all.
        It’s what we have to subconsciously keep a track of short term actions, movements…our “working memory.”

        If stressed, overwhelmed, overstimulated, (the autistic’s lot in life…) you have even less chance of “working memory” being able to keep up. If you felt a little off kilter before, you can feel entirely alienated from yourself as shit kicks off around you. All because information is coming through a little bit out of step on a wholly subconscious level.

        Think…the delayed communication between “Ground Control” and “Lunar Module” getting lost in static and solar radiation as you’re left repeating “Module One. Come in.” in frantic isolation. Metaphorically like.

        In reality you’ve seized or maybe started “stimming”, repeating yourself, your action, in hope that your looped actions will eventually catch up with yourself and, maybe, by that point the stress factor that bought this on will have ended. Or you could just be feeling like entirely useless shit if this all goes undiagnosed.

        Add the part where nobody has any direct control over their reproductive system and a smattering of OCD to the mix, and this lack of control, the dread of silence from your Astronaut body can be utterly overwhelming for some people.
        And it still has nothing to do with sex or “your brain being in the wrong body”.

        Jnless they’re telling me that artificial hormones come packed with memories…from the future – a concept so whack that even Quantum-Bullshit merchant Deepak Chopra might be a little sceptical here – I just cannot get the mechanics of any Transactivist Brain Science to work.

        As it is, they’re treating untreatable neurological issues with the placebo effect of belief in brain sex, having a set of attainable goals to aim for and the use of hormones as both placebos, mood contol and as a regular framework to hang a chaotic life on. However, it would be entirely possible to calm the fuck down without the hormones or made gender make-beleive.

      • Brain sex is only of interest to the transgender community when they are bullshitting reporters. Diagnostic tests ought to be a piece of cake given that they claim brain markers in trans people are so very prominent and unassailable. If diagnostic tests were ever developed, activists would pivot away from brain sex so fast your head would spin. Of course, they WON’T be developed, as there’s no demand for them. This is the only field of medicine where there is an active resistance to improving treatment protocols.

      • Recent information by neuroscientist Dr.Lise Elliott about how new large research shows the sexes brains are much more alike than different! Two major areas in the brain that were claimed to be different were found to not be different using over 6,000 healthy women and men of all ages.

        NThttp://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/the-male-vs-female-brain-are-they-more-similar-than-we-think.html/?a=viewall

      • I have a lot of strong,great psychological research studies that shows the sexes are psychologically much more alike than different and other important information that totally debunks these common harmful sexist gender myths, and gender stereotypes.If you could let me know if it’s ok to post all of it,I really would appreciate it because I don’t want to be mistaken as ”spamming”.

        Thank You

      • One of several posts I have in draft form is one on “brain sex.” I welcome your links, but I wonder if you might like to submit a guest post instead to highlight them, rather than simply dropping links? Let me know.

    • “Disability rights activists would be SCREAMING if the March Of Dimes or the Easter Seals ran an ad campaign showing a child in a wheelchair with the caption: “This is Jack. He was born in the wrong body. Please help!!!” Yet, it is perfectly acceptable to use this kind of language when describing a gender dysphoric child.”

      Trans is still very much a male-dominated thing (even though one commenter here observes that more females are participating, they are still the minority, whatever the exact ratio is). And frequently these male transgenders (“M2Ts”) dabble in multiple ‘trans’ issues—like “trans-disabled” (search GenderTrender); “trans-age” (Riley, the ‘adult baby’ who “wants a sex-change so he can pee in his diaper like a girl”); ‘trans-racial/cultural’ (the trans are forever appropriating a Native American thing of ‘two-spirit’, and it is not what they think it is. Rachel Dolezal’s appropriation of race got slammed, mainly because she was female, because: tutts, appropriating more oppressed classes is a man-thing); and of course, ‘otherkin’, who think they are animals or furries, or whatever. Of course transactivists include or not, whatever groups they please, depending on their agenda at any specific time (basically, gauging whether the public will swallow it or not).

      If trans seriously believe they were “born in the wrong body”, then it has more in common with BIID (Body Integrity Identity Disorder). But they do not believe it, the phrase is a handy slogan that garners automatic sympathy, and that they dictate what treatment they receive, whilst simultaneously claiming to be ‘normal’—yet in the direct parallel with BIID, medical staff would be struck off for hacking off healthy limbs because a BIID patient demanded it. Not so with trans, they get to demand whatever, or what little, they want in the way of treatment.

  8. I have been reading the submissions to the Transgender Equality Enquiry. There is an excellent submission from Angela Gbemisola on behalf of ‘Parents campaigning for sex equality for children and young people’:

    ‘We are not against equal rights for transgendered adult people except where they conflict with the equal rights of others. In particular we are very concerned about the recent developments in the transgendering of children. We believe that children also have rights to be protected from harm as stated in the UN convention on Children’s Rights (l989) and not be subject to social and medical experimentation where the long term outcomes are uncertain and harmful.

    We also believe that children have the right not to be subject to social produced gender-stereotyping which produces inequalities between the sexes in relation to their educational and career aspirations and long term life chances.’

    See http://data.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/committeeevidence.svc/evidencedocument/women-and-equalities-committee/transgender-equality/written/19662.pdf

  9. ‘Children exist in a state of ‘magical thinking’ and if we take what they say seriously as ‘truth’ we can create problems that previously did not exist.’ Absolutely. It is good to hear this stated with authority.

    Unfortunately far too many adults seem to be existing in a state of magical thinking when it comes to trans-related questions.

  10. I think that a certain amount of letting a child figure out things, or a parent listening to a child’s cues, can be valuable. For instance, if you think you know better than your newborn infant when the baby ought to be sleeping, that’s a recipe for disaster both from a developmental and from an interpersonal-relationship point of view. (Babies literally are not ready to sleep through the night that young, and you don’t need to “train” someone to do something that their body does naturally.) The problem with these parents here is they take the child-leading way too far in the other direction–they don’t actually consider the child’s point of view, which is that the child still has little experience and even less idea what is going on around them. Mind you, children sometimes have startling insights about various life issues, but that’s not going to blossom into anything like wisdom until they’re much older and have experienced more.

    And something that can cause them permanent damage is NOT an area in which they should lead the way. If one’s child wanted to have an ear surgically removed, of course the parent would object. This is no different. It’s entirely possible that some child at some point would have such severe dysphoria about her ears that nothing but having them removed would help her attain emotional equilibrium, but the adults in her life would still understand that she had a problem and that they should address the problem, not aid and abet the symptoms.

    • It’s a balance isn’t it – listening more to children than we did in the bad old days when we didn’t take them seriously at all, but at the same time not being afraid to say when we know the reality, or just know more than them. Not throwing out adult knowledge completely.

  11. Another thought: It is not possible to change a person’s biological sex. I don’t care what you cut up, I don’t care what you drug, a male’s a male and a female’s a female and never that fact shall change.

    So “transsexual” isn’t really a valid term either. I suppose it makes a useful label for anyone who’s undergone the surgical changes to relieve dysphoria but it doesn’t actually mean anything. Furthermore, we still have the basic issue that someone has a psychological health problem and instead of trying to help them fix it we’re humoring their desire for self-mutilation. This is nothing to play around with because the suicide rate goes up after reassignment surgery. And that’s when nothing goes physically wrong with the surgery.

  12. In her answer to why Ms. Davies-Arai writes:
    “Bullying, in a word. The tactics of trans activists are classic bullying techniques: quash all debate with accusations of ‘transphobia’ so nobody dares to speak up. ‘TERF,’ ‘bigot,’ ‘hate speech’ – all these accusations silence people and in some cases make them genuinely afraid of losing their jobs. If you look at how ‘trans’ has become a protected category politically, it’s not surprising that people are afraid.”

    Sadly, bullying is endemic to the transgender community. The degree of this bully is strongly correlated to how close your words touch on self-identifying gender transitioner’s underlying disorder. If you are an average person on the street and you innocently mis-gender a trans-identifying person, you will often see a demeaning response like “transphobe”. If you are a ardent feminist and object to the presence of an otherwise straight, self-identifying, male-to-female transsexual using the women’s locker room, you will likely see the word, “TERF” thrown at you. However, if you are a former transitioner, like me, and you point out the fact that the whole concept of a change in biological sex is an impossibility, or that the vast majority of gender transitioners engage in masturbation rituals that are not indigenous to the female sex, or that you point out the fact that the vast majority of post-operative transsexual watch their lives get worse after undergoing a GRS procedure and not better, or that far more post-operative transsexuals commit suicide than pre-operative transsexuals, you become the target of not only verbal harassment, but also death threats.
    In 2008 on the event I began to publish my book, The Transsexual Delusion, I received death threats on what seemed like a weekly basis.
    Here is one at the URL below:
    http://www.transgression.com/Books/AcceptableLosses/Footnotes/FootnoteMeadowsElectronicMailMessageDated20081220

    You also become the target as I was of frivolous and vexatious civil actions. See the URL below:
    http://www.transgression.com/Books/AcceptableLosses/Legal/?LanguageCode=en-CA

    None of the civil actions that self-identifying transsexuals brought before the Superior Court of Ontario concluded in with any criminal or civil remedies against me. However, these tactics are common in this particular space. The civil action, Beidas et al v. Pichler et al, alone cost me 124,000.00 dollars or thereabouts in legal fees.

    On a separate matter there seems to be some misunderstanding about anticonvulsant medication in treating addiction. Alcoholics anonymous recommends anticonvulsant therapy to treat addiction for 90-days. After that you can stop the medication. The medication can be toxic. So when taking anticonvulsants you should only do so under a physician’s care.

    I, personally, had a positive experience with anticonvulsant medication. I took anticonvulsant medication for a separate medical issue not related to transsexuality. After 21 days of taking the medication I lost interest in a gender transition. I do not recall being a ‘zombie’ while taking the medication. I am not taking anything now.

    Yours very truly,
    G Eugene Pichler
    Transgression Film Studios
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada

    • Thank you for the clarification on anticonvulsants. When you took anticonvulsants were you also getting any other kind of therapy? Were you trying to stop your interest in transition?

      • Mr. Davis,

        Regarding my stint with anticonvulsant medication, I began taking anticonvulsant medication in February, 2000 while I was undergoing hormone replacement therapy to effect a gender transition. So, yes, I was undergoing therapy at the time I took anticonvulsant therapy. In fact I think had by that time been undergoing HRT for approximately eleven months. At the time I began to take anticonvulsant medication I had no thoughts that I needed to get psychiatric help to control or abate the proclivities towards a gender transitioning. In 2000, like most gender transitioners, I was fully committed to a gender transition. I was of the belief that a gender transition was aligned with my health interests.

        However, again, I took the anticonvulsant medication for an unrelated health issue. In retrospect the anticonvulsant medication had the unintended effect of pushing me off the addiction freight train that I was on.

        In fact in 1997 Dr. Paul Fedoroff, a psychiatrist then affiliated with the CAMH, offered to administer a drug called Buspirone on my behalf. Dr. Fedoroff positioned Buspirone as a drug that controls the impulsivity behind cross gender expression. I declined to take the drug. Like most trans-identifying people, in 1997 I liked to engage in cross gender expression. I didn’t feel cross gender expression was problematic in my life at that time. Although cross-gender expression and what followed, gender transition, did indeed adversely effect an intimate relationship I had with a woman in 1999. However, I had no interest in getting treatment for what I considered to be a natural part of what I was at the time.

        I hope that answers your question.

        Yours very truly,

        G Eugene Pichler
        Transgression Film Studios
        Toronto, Ontario, Canada

    • The idea that GD is exclusively sourced in addiction is unrealistic and rather under-informed. Although I believe that the mechanism by which addictions are formed http://www.plosone.org/article/fetchObject.action?uri=info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0102419&representation=PDF may be comparable to that of the development of fetishism, (ie., autogynephilia), to equivocally declare that *all* (for lack of a better term) ‘gender identity disorder’ is sourced in the same manner is wrong-headed.

      “Gender” is a social construct. The idea that likes and dislikes, skills and potential, etc., are somehow determined by our sex only exists within the context of a culture that believes this is so and which expends effort imposing those beliefs on its members. If this were not so, ‘gender roles’ would not vary from culture to culture, and would not change with the introduction of, for example, Woman’s control over her reproductive status. Our sex may be fixed at our conception, but our “gender” is learned after we’re born. Infants learn early the difference between mom and dad and the different clothes and roles they perform, but they do not have a stable understanding of sex until much later http://sexualityandu.ca/uploads/files/CTR_GenderRolesAndYoungChildren_MAY2013-ENG.pdf If the ‘gender roles’ that our culture has created were in sync with our true nature as human beings, you would not be seeing the numbers of people- even those who do not identify as trans or queer- expressing so much dissatisfaction and even despair because of them http://people.socsci.tau.ac.il/mu/daphnajoel/files/2014/11/Joel_gender_identity_2013.pdf

      Children are malleable and their brains are plastic- even more so than adults since fast learning is a requirement for survival to adulthood. If they are punished for having behaviors or likes for those things which are culturally deemed inappropriate for their sex, it’s not that difficult to understand how they would come to see themselves as being wrong bodied. When adults reward and reinforce that kind of thinking, it only strengthens their resolve that there is a mind/body mismatch. Further, it is known that trauma and the effects thereof- especially that resulting from sexual abuse- result in dissociative personality disorders, the effects of which actually alter the brain. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3233754/ Further, there is a known relationship between autism and the development of feelings of being the other sex which is not so easily explained by mere addiction. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4396787/

      Altogether, I applaud efforts that attempt to unravel and illuminate the path by which transvestic fetishists develop their obsession to become the objects of their own desire. http://www.annelawrence.com/mtimb.html I too believe that these behaviors are harmful to them and others- especially Women. I do not, however, support the claim that the mechanism by which these fellows develop these proclivities are the same as for all persons experiencing ‘gender identity’ disorders, and I believe that treating all such persons the same is actually harmful. For many people, cross-sex identification is caused not so much by wanting to *be* the other sex, but to escape the condition of their own.

      • So since when do we treat problems of social constructs with drugs and surgery?

        Maybe our social constructs suck, but then, again, why are we drugging and mutilating people? And insisting this is some sort of treatment? I love how this part is glossed over. That is a big part of the problem.

        My kid doesn’t match anything you are saying here, but yet a gender “expert” tried to insist otherwise. And what will happen to him? Some a-hole expert is going to tell my kid he needs that and ruin his damn life for their damn ideological bull.

        I don’t care what you want to call it. I want someone to stop the insanity of these treatments. There is no evidence that someone is born in the wrong body. That that is a real thing. It’s just some nonsense nebulous explanation for disordered thinking. I was born in the wrong body too. I really should have been taller and better looking. Good grief.

        And explain to me things such as effeminate transmen and butch transwomen. Or those who want to transition absent any indication they are actually anything like their opposite sex. Oh and the super fun category such as “gender fluid”. Where supposedly one day they are one gender and the next day they are another gender. Sounds schizophrenic and not like an issue with “social constructs”. And if that was so natural for them, why would they need to fake it so hard and come off as so damn odd? (Let me guess, they weren’t socialized that way. Whatever. I have never forced my kid to be any which way.)

        I don’t want anyone turning my kid into some sort of freak show circus clown for their ideological experiment. If that makes me hateful, so be it.

        I mean think of how this sounds to me. Your kid is not suffering from a mental disorder but is suffering at the hands of “society’s” backwards thinking so the treatment is drugs and surgery. NO! Verses…Your kid has a mental disorder and so far the best we have to offer is drugs and surgery. Makes a hell of a lot more sense.

        I want people to stop being so freaking stupid. The epidemic isn’t gender confusion, it’s stupid thinking.

      • I’m actually an autogynephilic male. It makes me sad that most trans folks reject the theory of AGP because it means I get no help for my tragic sexuality. The only actual “cure” to my condition is to become that which I fixate on, females. I’m infatuated with them. I become aroused by the very emulation of stereotypical female things, like painting nails, wearing short skirts on a friday to gain attention, etc. I don’t want to be a feminine boy. I want to actually be a female, which I’ll never be.

        Some days are harder than others, but I try to make it through as best I can. Sucks that the only therapist I’ve ever been to recommended transition right off the bat for me. I’ve realized that my sexuality is literally all about attention. It carries onto me as a person. I CRAVE attention, whether it be for my looks, my skills, anything, It carried on to my sexuality. I want people to lust after my body and I guess I just don’t feel like a male body can be lusted after, or at least young-me came to believe that.

        Honestly, I sometimes wish it was more acceptable for a boy to act and dress “girly”, even if it is sexually motivated. These days though, just for the fear of becoming too obsessed with my sexuality, I avoid indulging in my fantasies and put my sexual energy elsewhere, like school, working out, socializing, pleasing my girlfriend, etc. I found that when I’d indulge myself in unrealistic fantasies it just left me feeling unfulfilled and foggy in the brain.

        So, who knows what will become of me? I just hope people will wake up to the reality of autogynephilia.

      • Sam, you might want to look at the website ThirdWayTrans.com. It is by a man who transitioned and detransitioned and is seeking for alternative ways to deal with gender dysphoria. transblog.grieve-smith.com is a blog by a trans person who has chosen to live as a man and not transition. And retransition.org is a blog by a man who has retransitioned to living as a man again.

  13. We parents of ‘nonconforming’ (ugh) kids desperately need clear-headed allies to speak sense into the world like this. Just as transfolk have been incredibly successful in recruiting allies to embrace the narrative they prefer. It is maddening to me that I have to be anonymous and publicly silent regarding such a crucial issue — but for those of us striving to preserve relationships with internet-savvy teens, there is not an alternative to being on the down low. God only knows how many of us there are out here, coping, not even posting anonymously. I think it’s likely that it’s not a tiny number of people.

    The general public is just clueless on the ramifications, you know? They might raise eyebrows at Jenner, they might think Jazz is heartwarming, it might all be an exotic curiosity — something you look at like you look at a person who’s done extreme tats, or the latest celebrity trainwreck on the cover of the tabloids in the supermarket checkout. Something that does not affect them and their loved ones. But it will.

    They’re typically trying to be nice, trying not to be bigoted/prejudiced, trying to be on the right side of history, trying to be supportive of the oppressed. Trying to live and let live. That is what ‘nice’ people do. And they (and the lawmakers influenced by the movement) will just keep doing it, until and unless the narrative gets countered with some actual facts regarding the experimental nature of the treatment, the dubious long-term success, the sterilization angle, the money angle, the autogynephilia angle, the ‘I’m a girl because I say so and who cares if I still have a penis and an erection while I’m in the group locker room with your 15 year old girl?’ The whole nine yards. I am appreciative of every bit of writing from people who talk sense along these lines, especially those who can’t be vilified as right-wingers with an agenda. (Even though, to be honest? Right wingers have been among the few publicly talking sense out there on this issue. That might be painful, as 4thwave and others have noted, but … it’s true.)

    thanks to all the allies who are working on this issue.

    • As far as transgender adults are concerned, I do have a “live and let live” attitude. I will gladly defend their right to get a job, buy a house, marry the love of their life, wear the clothing that suits their fancy, change their name, and basically go about their daily business without being harassed. (No, I don’t support those who feel the need to whip it out in the locker room in front of 15-year-old girls, but such disturbed individuals are dealing with other issues above and beyond being trans.)

      But the trans-ing of kids is deeply troubling. The labeling of children as young as two, the rush to socially transition them at younger and younger ages, the “born in the wrong body” mantra, the puberty blockers, the chest binders, the packers, the cross-sex hormones, the media fawning over parents who go along with all this while demonizing those who dare to ask questions, the Internet extremists who try to usurp the parents’ role, the doctors who use these kids as guinea pigs– there is just too much here that is untested, unproven, unethical, age-inappropriate, or downright dangerous.

  14. I just found this article from about an 18-year-old FtM. I couldn’t read all of it yet because the whole brainwashing language just makes me sick. The mother says, “I wish I had understood that my child had the body of a girl, but the brain of a boy.” As Dana said earlier, your brain and body are one, how can anyone possibly use that rediculous claim? How can people be so stupid? Can our hearts be male, but our bodies female? Of course not! No fucking logic is used in this world anymore!: http://news.nationalpost.com/health/body-of-a-girl-but-the-brain-of-a-boy-u-k-father-says-watching-his-daughter-disappear-was-like-bereavement

  15. Some more ridiculous quotes from the FtM, “I knew when I was growing up,” Alfie says, “that I didn’t want to do the things girls did. People thought being a tomboy was a phase, but I knew I wouldn’t change. I didn’t want to wear girl clothes. I hated the way they fitted to me.” For crying out loud. Those are patriarchally imposed sex ROLES, not your freaking sex!
    I’m so pissed that this narrative just doesn’t give up. Sorry for the rant.

      • Thank you, 4thwave. Also, if someone wants to leave a comment on that article and refer to 4thwavenow, I think that would be excellent. I just don’t have facebook, so I’m unable to leave a message.

    • Disturbing how many adults are buying that argument, that kids “know” they’re never going to change. Do none of them remember what being a child was like? Studied any basic child psychology? I hate this narrative that children can somehow tell you whether or not it’s going to be just a phase. A child or even teenager is never going to admit that they can’t predict the future or that their current self may not be their future self- they literally can’t even think that far in advance, in most cases. I knew I was going to be a tomboy forever, and years later a “goth”, and years later to practice wicca, and would have argued relentlessly against any adult who tried to say otherwise at the time… guess what? Few years later…

      • This is the reason I took my kid out of therapy. When we hired the second therapist, it was because she is considered very good at CBT — cognitive behavioral therapy — which is proven to be effective in reducing anxiety and depression. Her presentation and description of her practice was very grounded in scientific and therapeutic practice which has been shown effective over time. She was also very big on the latest scientific findings that the teen brain is still maturing and changing and teaching teens that to help ease some bumps in their development. All good.

        The minute my kid said she was trans, all of that disappeared and her “gender identity” became EVERYTHING. When I pointed out, to my kid AND the therapist that I wasn’t jumping headlong into this mostly because there wasn’t even basic scientific evidence and that all the stuff the therapist had presented to us as real and proven she was now throwing out the window. We, as the parents, were wrong and we had to accept our developing teenage daughter as the sole authority on herself, even though if she never said she was trans, the therapist would work hard to convince my daughter that her anxiety was not a PHYSICAL condition, but a psychological one and one that she could actually change and control. But psychological feelings about her gender? A fact about which no disagreement can even be brooked. Absolutely batshit crazy.

  16. That school “toolkit” that was linked is just absolutely appalling. Includes gems such as:

    “Secondly, the language of ‘ladies’ or ‘gents’ may give an implicit message about what it is to be a woman/man and therefore reinforces certain stereotypical ideas of femaleness/maleness. It may be preferable to say ‘come on Year 8’s, off to your le sson now’ or ‘come on pupils, time to get on with your learning’.”

    Might as well think of students as formless grey blobs.

    “One trans* student in a Brighton & Hove secondary school has reflected that in Drama, roles should be open to all students and not necess arily only to those whose gender identity appears to match the sex of the character.”

    Ah yes, let girls have even less characters to play.

    “Given the spectrum of trans* identities and experie nces, it is important that any support you offer a trans* child or young person starts with identifying their individual needs. It is important that their identity is validated and supported in any work that you do.”

    Me me me me me me me me.

    “Remember that a pupil who identifies as a trans* girl but was born a genetic male is not a ‘boy dressed as a girl’ but is a girl who outwardly at this point resembles a boy.”

    Looks like a boy, walks like a boy, quacks like a boy? Nope, not a boy.

    “Most secondary schools organise PE groups as mixed gender for the first two years but later in the school system, PE groups separate into gendered groups. Concerns have been raised that some trans* pupils and students ma y be at a competitive advantage, particularly young trans* women, whose bodies may w ell have developed slightly stronger than their genetic female class mates. This however should not be a problem if lessons are carefully structured, managed and learning appr opriately differentiated. Similarly concerns have been raised about trans* young men pl aying contact sports like rugby and potentially being of a smaller build than some male students. PE teachers are used to differentiating their lessons and taking into accou nt the range of size, build and ability in the class to keep all students safe and so the same principles can be applied. These issues should be discussed with trans* pupils and s tudents themselves and if appropriate with their parents or carers.”

    Human sexual dimorphism? Sounds like a transphobic conspiracy.

    “Scenario 1) My daughter doesn’t want a boy changing next to her, what if he looks at her body? For example, in this scenario it would not be appropriate to remove the trans* person from the changing rooms if a concern is raised by a parent or carer. In this situation, it would be far more appropriate to look at offering an alternative changing arrangement for the child who feels uncomfortable around the trans* person. A Human Rights response would be to state that although the individual in question may have the body of a boy, they are in every other respect a girl and as such have the right under the Equality Act to change with the girls and to be treated fairly as such. It is the responsibility of members of staff to support both trans* students and cisgendered students to feel comfortable around one another”

    It is with much regret that I inform you today that your daughters are oppressive transphobes for refusing to change in front of (not!) a boy and must all henceforth change in the janitor’s closet.

    “Scenario 2) It’s not fair that he enters the 100 me tres race for girls when he is a boy OR Won’t she get injured playing rugby with boys? Similarly, pupils or students who feel that a trans * child should not be involved in certain sporting activities may themselves need to be supported to do a different activity. This kind of support acknowledges that some individ uals may struggle to understand trans* people or initially feel uncomfortable around them but does not support the idea that trans* people should be treated any differently to cisgendered people. The responsibility lies with the individual who has the problem, to de al with that problem, not with the trans* person to accommodate for that that person’s insecu rity around them or child.”

    Bigoted girls thinking they deserve a fair chance? Solution: kick them out.

    —–

    Tell me again this is not outright indoctrination. Teachers are being forced to abide by these absurd standards lest they lose their livelihoods.

    Whereas gay people ask for acceptance and respect, these narcissists feel entitled to every single thing they can get their hands on, regardless of what anyone else has to say.

  17. Sam,

    On Mark Cummings’ invitation I will be appearing on Transition Radio New Mexico on Tuesday, October 27, at 11:00 EST (9:00 Mountain Time) to discuss our case studies on individuals, who inadvertently took anticonvulsant medication and subsequently watched their proclivities towards a gender transition evaporate. As part of the presentation I will also elaborate about my own personal experience fifteen years ago.

    If interested the link for the advertisement for the broadcast is illustrated below:
    http://www.transitionradio.net/home_page.html

    The link for our write up on “autogynephilic addiction, what is it?”, including non-invasive treatment alternatives for autogynephilic addiction, is illustrated below:
    http://www.transgression.com/Books/AcceptableLosses/OnlineMaterial/BehavioralAddiction?LanguageCode=en-CA

    Regarding your comment, “I hope people wake up to the reality of autogynephilia”, many of us have. You story regarding autogynphilia and that craving for attention is common narrative. There indeed are alternative treatments for what you are struggling with.

    Yours very truly,
    G Eugene Pichler
    Transgression Film Studios
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada

  18. Pingback: QotD: “We have absolutely no idea what we’re doing, and yet we’re prepared to allow this very recent niche ideology to justify the butchering of healthy bodies of young people. We should all be very angry” | Anti-Porn Feminists

  19. Pingback: QotD: “We have absolutely no idea what we’re doing, and yet we’re prepared to allow this very recent niche ideology to justify the butchering of healthy bodies of young people. We should all be very angry” | Anti-Porn Feminists

  20. To Una Hodgkins……I’m sorry that you have suffered as a result of being married to a man who has transgender issues. I’m not sure what your specific reason is for wanting to contact me. My current view is that my ex is better off where he is now; getting on with his life as long as that does not involve me or harm our children or anyone else. He was an adult when he made his decision to change his identity and has all the backing of the medical profession, the law and a vocal support community to validate his choice. On a personal level my concern now is to make sure that my children are also able to make up their own minds about what has happened to their father and come to terms with with the changes that this has caused in their lives. More widely I have become aware of the harm that the gaining of rights for one small section of the population has caused for women and children, and my loyalties are now to them.

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