Therapist and Jungian analyst Lisa Marchiano received the following email recently. She and the writer of the email agreed that Lisa would address the author’s questions in a public forum, and the author kindly agreed to allow the email to accompany Lisa’s response.
Lisa can be found on Twitter at @LisaMarchiano. She blogs at theJungSoul.com
Please note that this post is intended for educational purposes only and is not meant to replace professional advice.
Email from a trans-identified teen:
Hello. I’m almost 16 years old and recently I have been reading some of your writing on “Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria.” Currently I identify as transgender and have for almost 2 years, but as a chronic over-thinker, I like to expose myself to viewpoints and ideas that are different from my own. If my parents knew what ROGD was, they would probably argue that I am in that category. I came out to them about a year ago and I hadn’t shown any gender dysphoria in early childhood. To them, it probably seemed a little “out of the blue,” though I had known for a year before that, had begun to transition (cutting my hair and buying from the men’s section), and had been questioning since puberty. I don’t have any mental or physical health problems, and I have a wide social circle of friends, none of whom are transgender or homosexual (though one of my friends is asexual, and my girlfriend is bisexual). I’m almost positive that I’m transgender, but your writing got me thinking and I have a few questions for you.
If what I am experiencing is ROGD, and simply a coping mechanism for something else, what signs could I look for in myself to figure that out? You talked a lot about the parent’s side of the equation, but what can I, as a trans teen do to ensure that I’m not “tricking” myself into believing this?
When do you believe a trans identity is valid? I certainly don’t disagree with you that there are many teenagers in my generation that are “becoming” trans because it is trendy, having no symptoms of gender dysphoria (I know a person like this). But do you think that trans people need to meet certain criteria to be considered trans and be considered for medical transition? If so, what criteria? Do you believe that gender dysphoria can present itself at puberty?
Thank you for reading and hopefully replying. I really appreciate your time.
Lisa Marchiano’s response:
Thank you for writing me such a thoughtful email, and for your willingness to take the answer here in this public forum. First of all, it goes without saying that this letter can’t take the place of therapy. I can’t diagnose from afar. I am, after all, just a stranger on the internet, and this is just my opinion. I believe it is an informed opinion, but it can’t take the place of discussing important issues face to face with someone who knows you well. Looking at these issues with a qualified therapist who can help you ponder your feelings in an open-ended way without prematurely foreclosing exploration can be very helpful. In addition, I hope you might feel comfortable someday discussing this with your parents. There may be a lot they don’t understand, but it is likely that there is no one on the planet who is more steadfastly on your team than they.
As a Jungian, I see psychological health in terms of a movement toward wholeness. Over the course of our lives, we hopefully integrate more and more aspects of ourselves, including parts that may be “feminine,” and parts that may be “masculine.” This life-long growth process means that we become larger and more complex as we become conscious of more aspects of ourselves. I do not believe that it makes sense to think in terms of identity, as this implies a single, fixed “truth” about ourselves – an endpoint that can be decisively known. Rather, I believe we continue to grow and change throughout our lives.
There is no robust evidence for innate gender identity. Our sense of gender appears to be an emergent property that arises out of a complex interplay between our bodies, our minds, and the social world. Though there is almost certainly a biological component to gender dysphoria, it is also likely shaped by our life history. The way we experience ourselves in terms of gender – that is as more or less male or female or both – is shaped by our family, our wider social network including friends and teachers, and the culture, including advertising, YouTube and other social media. Traumatic experiences, such as the loss of someone close, parental divorce, or emotional, physical or sexual abuse can also affect our experience of our gender.
Can gender dysphoria present for the first time at puberty? Clearly, many young people feel dysphoric at adolescence. Nearly all natal females feel discomfort with their bodies at puberty. I wonder if the question you are asking is whether dysphoria at adolescence but not before means that one shouldn’t identify as trans as a result. I think the answer to that is complicated, and I can’t really answer that for you. Again, this would be something to explore with a therapist who could really get to know your unique situation. Let me just say that based upon my reading of the medical literature, dysphoria presenting for the first time at puberty used to be unusual (but not unheard of) until recently.
Rapid onset gender dysphoria appears to be a relatively new phenomenon, and we don’t understand much about it yet. It appears as though the typical presentation of an ROGD teen involves considerable social influence, either online or by peers, as well as psychiatric comorbidities and/or vulnerabilities. Based on anecdotal reports, many ROGD teens first decide they are trans after reading on the internet. There is very little research on this, but the little there is seems to point to a different outcome for those with ROGD traits (no dysphoria in childhood, higher rates of psychiatric comorbidity, social influence) vs those with the more typical presentation of GD. And outcomes matter, because at the end of the day, we want all people to do as well as possible.
People often come to therapy to explore difficult decisions. I’m going to share a little bit about how I help someone explore their options. If you were to find a therapist to have this discussion with, here are some of the things the two of you might consider together.
There is a difference between what we feel, and what we choose to do about those feelings. I have a passionate conviction that all feelings are valid and important. We should be encouraged to feel them, to take them seriously, to honor them, and to be curious about them. We can take our feelings seriously and acknowledge them as valid without that acknowledgement meaning that we need to take a particular course of action as a result of them. For example – if we are very angry at someone, our feelings of anger are valid and deserve to be felt. What we do about that anger – whether we lash out at the person, for example – is another question entirely. When considering what to do about feelings, I am always interested in whether a given course of action is adaptive or maladaptive.
Let me explain more of what I mean by that. When someone comes to me with a question or a problem, I find it very helpful to examine the issue through the lens of pragmatism. I am interested in identifying what works for this particular person. This means that I ask us to set aside – at least for a moment – judgments based on values, morals, or ideology, and just explore whether a given response works.
What do I mean by “works?” In some sense, we all get to define that for ourselves, and one person’s definition might vary greatly from someone else’s. But we need some firm ground to stand on, so I do have a general answer – something works if it helps you to “do your life.” Freud famously said that the cornerstones of a mentally healthy life are the ability to love and to work, and I think that’s a great place to start. To have a life that is fulfilling, we generally need work that we find meaningful, as well as abiding relationships, at least some of which are truly intimate. I would add a third category to these two: . we can consider that a life strategy works if it is protective of our physical health – or at least not inimical to it. In sum, something works and is adaptive if it doesn’t interfere with our ability to work, to love, and to maintain our health.
Whether identifying as transgender for any individual is adaptive of maladaptive will depend on the person’s particular situation. If we are a natal female who has an inner experience of maleness (and I, in fact, believe that all females have masculine traits, and that our experience of the male side of ourselves can be very important psychologically), then identifying as male could be very liberating, exciting, and growth promoting. It could very well enable someone to engage productively in work and relationships. In this case, a transgender identity would be adaptive.
There could also be cases when identifying as transgender may not be adaptive. Whether it is or not will likely depend in part on how we understand what it means to identify as trans. For example, if part of identifying as transgender means that we need to be perceived as male when we are female bodied, we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable position, as we are giving others power over our sense of ourselves. We can’t control how others see us. Positioning ourselves so that we only feel okay when others perceive and validate us as we want to be perceived, rather than focusing on developing self-acceptance and resilience in the face of slights or rejections, is a decision that may promote worse mental health. This in turn could make it more difficult for us to concentrate at work or school. It might cause us to withdraw from friendships or other important relationships. If this were the case, we might say that our trans identification was proving to be maladaptive.
Furthermore, if identifying as transgender means that we understand ourselves to be literally male when our bodies are female, we may experience cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance refers to the inner tension that we feel when important beliefs are contradicted by evidence. It can be quite uncomfortable. Psychologists have studied those whose strong beliefs are challenged by material evidence. (The theory of cognitive dissonance was developed by a psychologist studying a doomsday cult, and what happened to cult members’ beliefs when the world did not in fact end as their leader had predicted.) They note that we have a tendency to “double down” on our false beliefs in order to resolve the internal tension. Our beliefs become more extreme, and we work even harder internally to justify or reconcile with the challenged belief. (This isn’t just true of cult members. It’s true of every one of us.)
Those who identify as transgender can suffer from pangs of cognitive dissonance. This can often make the dysphoria worse. I have heard many stories from desisters and detransitioners that identifying as transgender made them feel worse, because they then had to deal with a constant tension around the fact that their body looked and acted differently than how they thought it should. This can invite obsessive, perseverative thinking, which can be draining and cause increased distress and anxiety. Adopting a belief that contradicts material reality can be a recipe for unhappiness, as we will likely feel the need to strive to become the thing we are not. This is part of the reason many wisdom traditions and psychotherapy schools direct us to cultivate acceptance of those things we cannot change.
The blogger ladyantitheist articulates the above sentiment eloquently in her post about her trans identification and desistance from it:
One of the biggest problems I think with being transgender is it comes out of an unhappiness, and that the impossibility of the accepted solution amplifies the unhappiness. Having short hair doesn’t give you an Adam’s apple, testosterone injections won’t change your bone structure, a phalloplasty won’t let you produce sperm. The closer you get to the real thing, the further the gap between you and being a real male grows. Freeing yourself from the task of climbing a mountain whose peak can never be summited is your only chance of ever actually being happy. I eventually stopped looking for validation as something I would never be, and started the process of loving myself.
If identifying as transgender amplifies our unhappiness with our bodies, if it causes us to perseverate on features of our bodies which we don’t like, then I would say that doing so is probably not adaptive.
There’s one other major conversation to have when considering whether identifying as transgender works, and that is the matter of maintaining our physical health. If identifying as transgender means that we feel compelled to engage in activities that could cause long-term harm to our body, then it may be maladaptive. Binding can result in collapsed lungs, compressed ribs, and back problems, and some report that they continue to suffer ill effects even after they are no longer binding. Mastectomies remove healthy tissue and can result in painful scarring. Testosterone will result in vaginal atrophy and may damage fertility. It can negatively affect one’s lipid profile, bone density, and liver function. It may increase one’s risk of heart attack and diabetes. There are currently 6,000 cases pending in litigation against drug manufacturers having to do with male bodied people who took testosterone, and experienced blood clots, heart attacks, stroke, and sudden death. Phalloplasty is known to have a high complication rate, and these can be serious and debilitating in some circumstances. If a basic measure of whether something “works” is if it helps us to protect and maintain physical well-being, it would appear that medical transition may not do so in many cases.
Could medical transition ever be adaptive? Yes, I think so. There are trans adults who feel that their capacity to love and work has been enhanced by transition. I suspect that those who benefit from transition have had a good process in which they explored their gender; addressed any underlying issues; and had realistic expectations for the outcomes of transition. Since transition compromises physical health, it is important to carefully consider such a step, and be certain that the benefits will outweigh the considerable known and unknown risks.
I would like to offer another rule of thumb when considering whether a particular life strategy is adaptive or maladaptive. All things being equal, it is better to preserve options and maintain flexibility. This is especially true when we are in the first half of life. When in doubt, leave options open. One of my concerns about medical transition for young people is that it shuts down future options. Having a mastectomy will permanently remove the option of nursing. Taking testosterone may render us infertile. Even if we think we never want to become a parent, there is still a value in protecting the future possibility of doing so. And fertility is not the only option to protect. If a person has taken on a significant transition to another gender expression and then has serious questions about it, they may be faced with even more serious challenges than they had before. Freedom of expression may be seriously, and in some cases, profoundly restricted or limited. Transition does have the potential to seriously limit additional life choices.
We really are all works in progress. Our sense of ourselves will continue to change and shift throughout our lives. It may be tempting to strive for certainty in tumultuous times, but I’d be wary of any urgency. You do actually have time on your side. By staying curious – as you clearly are – and trying out different things, you will gather more and better information in order to help you decide what works for you. One of the helpful things about a pragmatic framework for evaluating life strategies is that it leaves room for things to change. Most strategies don’t work forever. For any decision we make, we can ask ourselves, is this working? And then a few months later, is this still working? If the strategy is benefiting us in living our fullest life more than it is hampering us, we know to continue pursuing it. And if the day comes where we realize the balance of the equation has tipped so that the strategy is more costly than beneficial, then we can abandon it. We need not limit ourselves according to rigid beliefs about what is right or wrong.
While I was working on this letter, I was reading a novel called The Nix by Nathan Hill. The novel is in part the story of a woman named Faye, and it follows her throughout her life as she tries to discover who she truly is. Toward the end of the book, the author makes some comments about how we understand ourselves that I thought were very wise. I’ll let him have the last word.
In the story of the blind men and the elephant, what’s usually ignored is the fact that each man’s description was correct. What Faye won’t understand and may never understand is that there is not one true self hidden by many false ones. Rather, there is one true self hidden by many true ones. Yes, she is the meek and shy and industrious student. Yes, she is the panicky and frightened child. Yes, she is the bold and impulsive seductress. Yes, she is the wife, the mother. And many other things as well. Her belief that only one of these is true obscures the larger truth, which was ultimately the problem with the blind men and the elephant. It wasn’t that they were blind – it’s that they stopped too quickly, and so never knew there was a larger truth to grasp…. Seeing ourselves clearly is the project of a lifetime.
Oh Lisa… how I wish my daughter had a therapist like you! So many great points in this post. Thanks to both of you!
As someone who’s transitioned M-F at the age of 60 to a spot of inner peace and happiness, I read the above with as open mind as I could. I can’t argue with the underlying premises presented.
I’ve sat in many group meetings with other M-F identified transgender people. I tell them that, as a parent of 9 grown kids (5 daughters), I don’t believe that any transition will ever make you “wholly” female. To try is to invite depression and despair. Unless you were acculturated female from birth you were most likely acculturated male and there will always be some component of male in you. The harder you struggle against that the worse you will feel, not better.
Yet gender reassignment surgery really helped me, and so did 9 years of hormones. And a ton of therapy, and the love and support of friends and family.
I tell people that when I was trying to be a beautiful, sexy woman, I struggled and was often miserable. When I changed my target to being a beautiful, sexy Kathryn, it all came together.
All of us have some element of both genders inside, to be wholly one or the other would be to be a caricature. Transition, if you must, only as far as you need to go to be okay with yourself. And learn to love yourself. That’s where inner peace and happiness are found.
Thanks so much for adding your voice to this conversation.
Beauty and sexiness are not womanhood.
For real.
Thank you, Lisa. The most distressing thing about my daughter’s transition is that she did it so fast via access to testosterone through an informed consent clinic. At a mere 18 years old, she told me “therapy will prove me right” and she transitioned socially and with hormones. This lack of a so-called gatekeeping process is a new development that many are not yet aware of. I fear for the future for a lot of these young trans who have raced onto use of cross-sex hormones and made permanent changes so quickly…will they even allow themselves a chance to question and see themselves differently over time?
Excellent article, Lisa.
We all wish our children could have a therapist as wise and discerning as you are.
Tempting to send this to my daughter.
Thank you both for sharing this with all of us.
This should be compulsory reading for any therapist dealing with trans-identifying teenagers or young people. It is kind, supportive and affirming – affirming that people do change and grow over time; that it is OK not be certain, that it is OK to be curious about who you are; that keeping your choices open is healthy and empowering.
I am an extremely worried mum looking for any help or advice anyone can give me. I found on my son (14) phone he has joined online chats rooms where he is swinging between identifying as bi or a demi-boy. He says it started a few months ago when he saw another boy in pe with his top off and he fancied him. I’ve tried to let him know that I saw his notifications come up and that I love him and everything is ok, but I’m terrified.should I be restricting his access to these chat rooms? As I don’t know who he’s talking to or the advice he’s getting. But I don’t want to cut this off if it is helping him question and work through his feelings. Should I persist or desist trying to talk to him. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He’s very embarrassed I’ve found out. My husband thinks it will blow over. I should leave it alone. But I’m not able to and simply don’t know what to do? He seems ok, happy in himself. But I can’t be sure. He’s never really fit in at school. Changed schools because of bullying when he was 7. But he has a nice bunch of friends. He also has an online girlfriend from south-Africa. She also identifies as bi. I think they met through one of these chat rooms. He’s glued to his phone! I make up any excuse to keep him busy and away from it and he is not allowed it after 8.30pm. If you can help or advice me in any way I would be so very grateful. Please help me. Thank you Maria
He needs activities that are not compatible with the phone. Maybe something like nature hikes or doing charity volunteering as a family, or an expressive thing like art classes or theater. Try lots of things until he is passionate about something. Taking away the phone leaves a void without something else in its place. Thinking about yourself too much in the context of the internet, rather than real life, can cause issues. I would be curious about why being gay would make anyone less male, in his mind.
Thank you, yes we are ramping up the after school activities and also restricting some phone apps that allow online communities but not ones he uses to message friends. Going to look into some volunteering opportunities for us as a family. Beach cleaning is always happening near us. He also has the chance for a Saturday job that I’m going to push. He’s very keen for this and it’s with my brother. I feel in my gut that we will get through this phase but I need to be so careful handling it. Thank you for replying.
To Mlpascoe,
All the suggestions and your plans are good! I just want to add that we did the same things and thought it would all blow over too. We found that these things definitely helped a lot, but with even a little access to persuasive people, it only strengthened my daughter’s resolve to medically transition. Perhaps you can work in pertinent mini-talks about all the different ways to be a boy or be a girl, about how all the things he is feeling are normal and he just needs to give it time without labels or identifiers, about how you would love and support him no matter how he turns out down the road but that he needs give himself until adulthood to figure it out, and encourage physical exercise and healthy eating because these things tend to help one appreciate their healthy body and not want to medicate it or surgically alter it. These mini-talks helped my daughter who is now completely desisted from thinking she was a boy.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. Your words have given me hope and comfort.
Many thanks to the teen who asked these thoughtful questions and to Lisa Marchiano for her reply.
Lisa, you speak of your opinion as being informed and I would agree. I am sure you have spent many years studying psychology, becoming knowledgeable, becoming certified and working with clients. I would also like to point out that parental opinions are also usually informed as well, though this informed knowledge comes from the journey of parenting. Much goes into raising a child and the information we have acquired from this journey is frequently discounted in the face of gender ideology. We have nurtured and raised these youth so when they come to us requiring validation for some idea we would think highly implausible for them we are taken back. You are so correct at saying that these youth cannot control how others see them. Our reality is that we see them differently then they are currently seeing themselves. We see something has gone awry, that our children are struggling. Why would they not be struggling when there is a rampant ideology that is invalidating their very beings? When we do not validate, what then happens? They turn back to the internet to seek their validation and they are getting it in droves. It becomes circular reasoning and in reality it validates nothing but the illogical truths. In turn they shut us out and denounce us.
Every cell in our body carries the markers for our natal reality. Sure some hormones can give one beards or breasts and take away bodily functions attributed to that natal sex like the ability to menstruate or become sexually aroused. Working with a therapist to ask the hard questions about why an individual might want these outward signs to read more one sex could prove beneficial and most certainly seems logical. Then asking the hard questions of what will this mean for an individual’s future. It might seem ‘cool’ now to get the immediate satisfaction of an outward appearance of being more masculine or more feminine. But what about 5 years, 10 years, 20 years down the road? Why is it that these questions are not being addressed in clinics today? Why is it law now in some places that these questions cannot be addressed?
I also think it important for youth to look to history and culture when seeking what is best for them. Natal females historically have made up a significantly smaller percentage of the trans population. Is this new population of natal female trans really here to stay? Time will tell but if history has answers, it seems unlikely. Social contagions are hard to see when in the throes of one but this stinks of one. It is also not unusual for medical communities to jump in and attempt to diagnose and treat in the throes of a social contagion. Look at history. At this point far too many are speaking out and saying ‘enough.’ The medical communities including drug companies and insurance companies need to stop adding fuel to the fire. At this point, it seems they must know as they have been warned. Youth should consider this moving forward in their own lives. Time is on their side. All social contagions in history have passed and if this is indeed one, it too will pass. Then what? That is the question these medical communities should be asking themselves. To the youth, you have plenty of time down the road, should you turn out to best be served by medical intervention. A small percentage of you might, but in time you will come to this conclusion by asking the hard questions.
The definition below comes up for ‘ideology’ on dictionary.com. I would ask how many youth today are actually considering this for themselves because of an ideology?
noun, plural ideologies.
1. the body of doctrine, myth, belief, etc., that guides an individual,social movement, institution, class, or large group.
2. such a body of doctrine, myth, etc., with reference to some political and social plan, as that of fascism, along with the devices for putting it into operation.
Well stated, beyondmad!
I forwarded this to my young adult child who identifies as transgender. I got a copy of this “Gender Analysis” from her. The link is below:
https://genderanalysis.net/2017/07/fresh-trans-myths-of-2017-rapid-onset-gender-dysphoria/
It pains me that the only thing she focused on were the words “rapid onset gender dysphoria”.
That article is an attempt by Zinnia Jones (late transitioning MTF pornographer) to discredit ROGD. It’s a shame your daughter thinks that’s a credible source.
I know there are gender therapists that do see and believe that ROGD is real and exists. They know this because they see it in their own practices. Zinnia Jones isn’t a therapist and doesn’t have a practice, so Zinnia wouldn’t actually know this truth.
I hope your daughter actually read what Lisa Marchiano wrote, beyond those 4 words she found offensive.
ROGD is real. I have had people question me about the word, rapid. I can see where they are coming from–rapid does not mean overnight. Think of rapid as being preteen and teen-onset gender dysphoria following an immersion on trans- promoting social media sites and/or influence by peers doing the trans thing.
I emailed her back and told her there was only one short paragraph about ROGD and that I found the rest of what she had to say interesting. I didn’t get a reply. I only hope she actually read all of it.
Thank you Lisa, and thank you to the young person willing to put their words into writing.
It’s beautiful and speaks to the heart of what it is to know oneself.
Really appreciate both the tone & context of this exchange between teen and therapist. It reads as something honest and respectful while maintaining an especially key point – choices have consequences that may not be understood until later in life.
My wife (we’re both born women) shops in the men’s department and maintains a short ‘masculine’ haircut. She hated dresses as a girl, liked to do ‘boys’ activities, and even as a preteen was mistaken for being a boy. Once she knew she was gay in high school she experienced that cognitive dissonance the therapist mentioned. Girls would even say “after you get a sex change we can get married.”
She considered many times if she should transition but the idea of removing body parts, taking hormones, and still not being able to fully function as male, wasn’t worth the risk.
If she had transitioned I wouldn’t have been interested. Not because I’m anti-trans, but because naturally butch women (a butch that doesn’t try hard to appear butch) is my sexual orientation. She is the lid to my pot & I’m grateful she found a sense acceptance that came from doing as the therapist said an “evaluation of life strategies”.
One side note I’d like to add is that FtM folks I knew in the 90’s seem rather different from the same folks today. Then they were generally women who had been “butch” for years and seemed more confident after transition & not in need of confirmation. Now the lesbian/FtM divide has become volatile as those who transition express direct contempt of lesbianism. For some reason in the last couple years my wife has received more contempt from this group than in her entire lifetime around heterosexuals. Not sure what that’s about but just wanted to mention it.
Hi there. Can you give some examples of this?
Back when we actually had lesbian bars in Portland (we only have queer nights and a few gay men’s bars left) the transmen used to come in, usually in a group, and though many women couldn’t understand why these now-men wanted to be in a lesbian space, these bros were generally relaxed and happy. There wasn’t animosity, name calling, macho bravado, or a sense of challenge. The butch’s co-existed with the transman in a shared space, even if it was more tolerated rather than united.
Now it seems my wife and other naturally butch women (those who are butch but don’t need to ‘identify’ as such because they simply exist as-is) I know are often puzzled by FtM interactions. One recent example was a transman who called my wife a “f*cking dyke” a few times when all my wife was doing was eating a power bar outside of a Whole Foods. Often these interactions are usually just dirty looks but sometimes there’s this “one-up” masculinity challenge including (seriously) flexing, deepening the voice, and blatant dismissiveness/underlying anger when the interaction is simply a common one. They (obviously not all) don’t seem relaxed or happy when a natural butch is around. Wish I knew why.
“There’s no one true self hidden by false ones. There’s a true self hidden by many other true ones.”
Whenever you see a transkid on TV or YouTube being lauded for their bravery in transitioning ALL of them say something about becoming their true self, or authentic self, or who they’re meant to be. It has always bothered me though I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why. It seems so phony that the true self should take so much effort, like they’re building a character in a play.
The ‘true self’ they talk about is only one aspect of personality (feminine or masculine) but it becomes everything in a way that is so limiting.
I couldn’t agree more. The whole notion that one’s authentic true self is behind the perceived desire to change one’s gender is flawed. I’m talking about kids. Not fully consenting adults. My soon-to-be step son is only 7. His other mom (not my partner) put this young child on the trans train when he was 4. Those were the words his other mom still stands by. “AUTHENTIC TRUE SELF.”
Because it has become a cult rather than a life-style decision. A very sad situation that butch women are feeling threatened. Butch teenagers are feeling immense pressure to transition. Wish you and your wife did not have to face this animosity. It is just crazy. Live and let live.
Not related to this post, but I don’t know how to contact this site.
Someone working on their grad thesis is doing a survey called “Impact of Parental Support on Transgender Young Adults”. I am a happily trans adult, but I feel that without the input from people with trans-critical parents, the results of this survey will be biased.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/transsupport
The survey you linked is for trans-identified young people, not parents. We’re not sure why you wanted to post it here.
To Cal on: It makes total sense that family support is of great importance in one’s decisions in life. That is why most of us are here. We desperately want to support our children through young adulthood. What we do not want is an ideology to turn them into something they never showed signs of becoming until ‘gender dysphoria’ became ‘a thing.’ Most us here do not believe their children are in fact transgender. ‘Impact of trans ideology in the siblings and parents of those rapidly id’ing’ might be more apropros in this circle.
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Wow, what a terrific post!
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