The day Dev could walk, the walk was feminine. The day Dev could talk…it was really feminine. The way he smiled in pictures, the way he posed….He would pick up dolls and we would take them and hide them. …just snatch them out of his hands. I didn’t understand what was happening to my boy.
–Mother of 6-year-old “trans girl” reality show star
Disclaimer: While I do not and will not ever place responsibility for the wave of pediatric transitions on the young people who have been swept up in its undertow, the adults discussed in this post have willingly chosen to place their minor children in the glare of the media limelight, with no attempt to protect the privacy or anonymity of their offspring. Any criticism of this burgeoning “transgender” child celebrity and moneymaking scheme should be aimed at the adults who enable it—not the kids.
Most screen captures in this post are still shots from the People.com video interview discussed below.
It’s official: The trans kid phenomenon has gone totally mainstream. Is there anyone in the US who hasn’t at least leafed through a People magazine–a staple of doctor’s office waiting rooms since 1974? In an age when print media is dying a slow death, People magazine has a circulation of over 3.5 million. In the online arena, it has 6.76 million Twitter followers.
So it’s not surprising that People.com has launched a raft of popular web-based reality shows. And who is one of its newest stars? A 6-year-old “transgender princess,” the youngest member of “The Keswanis: A Most Modern Family.” [Gee. This couldn’t possibly be a coy attempt at one-upmanship—or should I say, oneupyourpreferredpronounship over the hit ABC show “Modern Family,” which just has a couple of boring old GAY people as protagonists?]
ABC’s “Modern Family” is so—1990s. The Kewswani family—now that is MOST modern, which nowadays seems to mean a contest for who can market the youngest trans child to a rubbernecking public.
People.com is not shy about its ambitious aims for its new reality stars.
Actual quote: “Step aside, Kardashians! There’s a new family in town that we’re all dying to keep up with.”
Like the rest of these MOST modern trans kid tragicomedies we’ve been seeing all over the media, this one features the parents talking about that moment they realized that their kid really is the opposite sex.
Pink News, which bills itself on Twitter as “the world’s most respected and trusted LGBT news publisher,” has a promo video up (bottom of linked page) featuring interviews with the whole family. (Why don’t these one-time gay/lesbian publications just drop the pretense; drop the LGB from their monikers? Just make a clean break and call themselves a transgender news publisher and be done with it).
The 7.5-minute promo (also helpfully reproduced on Entertainment Weekly‘s website (which, like People, is owned by media giant Time Inc. with a current valuation over $4 billion), could be used as a sociological study of how so many of these “most modern” parents enforce gender stereotypes on kids who don’t fit the conventional mold of “girl” or “boy.” In fact, it’s the best example I’ve seen of how a child might come to the rather logical conclusion that they are in the “wrong body” because of their parents’ rigid ideas of what a boy or girl is supposed to act like, play with—even walk or talk like.
The day Dev could walk, the walk was feminine. The day Dev could talk…it was really feminine. The way he smiled in pictures, the way he posed….“He would pick up dolls and we would take them and hide them. …just snatch them out of his hands.” I didn’t understand what was happening to my boy.
What was happening? Well, you, the parents, defined your toddler’s every move, every facial expression as feminine. Could that have anything at all to do with why your boy decided he must obviously be a girl? And snatching a favored toy away wouldn’t have anything to do with your child starting to put 2+2 together–would it?
The little boy who happened to like dolls couldn’t possibly be emulating his older sister “Sarina, 15, a budding pageant contestant who’s navigating the emotional ups and downs of being a teenager – and learning to pose in a bikini.”
Nah. Dev’s first-grade ideas about “what I want to be when I grow up,” as reported by big sis Sarina, the “pageant rookie” and model in the opening minute of the interview, are all Dev’s own:
And my mom always uses the excuse, oh yeah, you were just like Devina when you were a kid…She loves dancing, she wants to be a tap dancer, she wants to be a famous singer, she wants to be a famous actor, and a model in a pageant.”
So was there a defining event that convinced the family Dev is really a girl? It was Dev’s kindergarten teacher who raised the alarm, according to dad.
“I think you need to see this paper.” It was a sheet of paper. I still have it. It was a picture of an elephant…trapped in a cage.
The cage of….his parents’ expectations of how a boy was supposed to behave? Because a boy sure as heck couldn’t take his first step or say his first word in a “feminine” manner.
Mom continues the story:
[Devina said] “The elephant is very sad. She is stuck. And she is sad because nobody will listen.”
I felt like I was hit by a car. Because it just hit me? That my child is a girl!
Beautiful–the transgender elephant?
He said, “her name is Beautiful.”
And I said, “Who is beautiful?” She wouldn’t look at me, and I said, “look at me.” “Who is beautiful?
And she looked at me and she was so scared. So much fear in her eyes. “She said, Beautiful is me.”
“I’m beautiful.”
It took me about 30 seconds to take that in. I just wrapped my arms around her and said:
You will never have to be Dev again. Ever.
And in that moment, the pronouns change. He becomes she–never to be known as a boy again. Ever.
“So much fear.” A kindergartner, so afraid of his mother’s reaction. Maybe the little boy was afraid because he wanted to be “beautiful,” but he knew his doll-snatching mother didn’t think boys can be beautiful. Only girls–like his teen model sister–can be beautiful.
Who built Beautiful’s cage?
Whether we chose this or not…we are parents of a modern family. I have a son who’s a top tier social media star. I have a daughter who’s venturing out into modeling and finding her own place in the world. And then I have a 6-year-old who’s transitioning.
A top-tier social media star? The People.com promotion page for the Keswani reality series features the 17-year-old “Vine Superstar”:
The eldest is “Big Nik,” 17, who suffers from a rare form of dwarfism. His hilarious Vines have earned him a following of 2.7 million, and have made him a social media rock star.
“We’re all a little different and a little dysfunctional,” says Nik, who recently dined out with Justin Bieber and earns upwards of $10,000 a month in sponsorship deals. “But I think that’s the recipe for a happy family.”
So the family isn’t new to social-media stardom, and Mom Vaishali’s Linked-In profile lists her main career as “talent manager” (with only one client listed so far–her son, “BigNik”, though that might change soon enough with the addition of a new star to the roster), and both parents have Twitter feeds promoting their family’s rise to fame.
Entertainment Weekly promo shot of the Keswani family
Returning to the promo interview, there is only one note of discord in the family narrative, a comment from Dad:
Maybe Dev will be an effeminate male, or maybe he’ll be a gay male. It might be a passing fad.
Wait, what? This brief cameo of dad expressing doubts seems hastily spliced in, out of context. I thought Dev was now “she”? But apparently this was a past rumination from dad, before he saw the light. Because by the end of the video, dad has changed his tune–decisively:
People wonder if we’re activists…[they say] this is “morally wrong.” …Spend a day with us. And tell me that she’s anything but a girl.
Based on what? Clothes? The “feminine” walk and talk? Of course, boys don’t like pink, and pink is the only color we see the first grader wearing in the promo pictures or the video, even though pink has only recently been marketed as a “girl” color. It wasn’t long ago that pink was for boys, and both girls and boy children wore dresses:
One of the earliest references to this original color scheme appeared in a June of 1918 edition of the trade publication Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department.
The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink , being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, three-term US president.
A little over halfway into the promo interview clip, a new character appears. At first it’s not evident who this person is—a teen babysitter? Family friend? She’s wearing makeup and, surprise, a pink blouse. She and Devina are filmed playing (natch) with princess stuff—wands and lots of pink dolls and princess garb.
“Do you want to give her a wand? You have wands here.”
“So cool to be with someone who’s like me in a way…you and I are both, you know, in that same category…”
The category of people who like pink? Who like wands and princesses?
People.com has an accompanying story on the princess-and-wand-loving teen:
Supporting [Devina] through the transition is not just her family, but also new friends, like Lily Rubenstein, a transgender 15-year-old who lives near the Keswani family. The two connected through the area’s transgender community, and have bonded over their shared experience during “play dates.”
Lily says that familial support and acceptance is the most important thing when it comes to ensuring a person has a positive transition.
“Support is the number one thing that parents need to be able to provide,” she tells PEOPLE. “There is nothing worse that you can do to a child than tell them that who they are inside and everything that makes them themselves is not authentic – or is a phase.”
Lily is FIFTEEN. As in, still a kid. But quoted as an expert by the geniuses at People Magazine, who are experts at one thing—profit margins.
So I beg to differ, Lily. And so do the providers who’ve been at this the longest, who say that, for the vast majority of little kids, it IS a phase, with the great majority of younger children with “gender dysphoria” growing up to be…gay. Even WPATH, the main transition-pushing organization on the planet, agrees [see page 11]. And “socially transitioning” a six-year-old will basically entrap the child in a trans identity from which they won’t have a chance of escaping, even if they want to. And if they’ve been a trans-child reality show star? Talk about a beautiful elephant in a gilded cage. And in the case of a natal boy, it’s going to be a gelded elephant in that gilded cage.
Vaishali admits she received a fair amount of backlash for allowing Devina to transition at a young age – even from friends. But Lily insists that what the Keswanis are doing is what’s best for their child.
…”The fact that she has the opportunity to transition at this stage in her life is how it should be for everyone. The Keswanis are setting the example here.”
Lily seems to be awfully confident about the ultimate outcomes for kids who are socially transitioned. Even more confident than the most pro-kid-transition experts. But where exactly is Lily getting this information from, anyway, that transitioning first graders will have such a guaranteed rosy outcome?
A quick Google tells us that Lily was featured in an April CBS Los Angeles puff piece, along with her doctor, Johanna Olson at LA Children’s Hospital (of “skip the blockers” fame).
Lily has been receiving hormone therapy and blockers to stop puberty at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, which is home to the largest clinic for transgender youth in the nation.
Ah! The puzzle pieces start to come together.
Olson treats more than 400 trans-youth, the youngest of which is 4.
“Kids do roll through a lot of things as they go through identity formation but our gender is a core part of who we are and we actually all know what our gender is and have pretty solid gender identity by the age of 3 or 4 years old,” Olson said.
Oh really, Dr. Olson? “We actually all know,” do we? It’s all settled then, is it? We have a consensus? Interesting that international researchers who have worked with young gender dysphoric children directly contradict your assertion of certainty. But now we at least know where your mouthpiece patient Lily gets the information being dutifully passed on to the masses via CBS, People magazine, and virtually every other media outlet on the planet.
Returning to the story featuring 15-year-old Lily’s role as “mentor” to 6-year-old Devina, as always, it’s impossible to discuss this issue without someone playing the suicide card. And this quote from mom Vaishali is as bad as it gets.
And for Vaishali, the risk that comes with not allowing Devina to be who she is was too great to leave to chance.
“There’s a 41 percent suicide rate in people who aren’t accepted,” she says. “That’s enough for me.”
She doesn’t even say “suicide attempt” (which in itself is inaccurate). It’s a 41% SUICIDE RATE. Apparently no one has told mom that this statistic is about rates of either self harm or thoughts of self harm, and that there is no evidence that “transition” will cure it.
As the credits roll on the promo interview, we learn that the family is from San Diego—the same place where four trans-identified teens committed suicide this year. At least two of them were transitioning with full support of their families. They were called by their “preferred pronouns” and accepted–even looked up to–by family, friends, and teachers.
The grain of truth in Vaishali’s statement about self harm is indeed about acceptance. But maybe accepting one’s child “for who she is” doesn’t mean telling a kid they are the opposite sex. Maybe it doesn’t mean setting one’s child up to be a lifelong, sterilized patient, haunting the offices of endocrinologists and surgeons for the rest of his or her life. Acceptance could start with not snatching away dolls from a boy whose beloved big sister is a budding model/beauty pageant queen. Acceptance could mean coming to terms with the fact that they have a “gender nonconforming” son who might grow up to be a gay man.
And when this kid is asked whether he wants to continue the blockers that he will most certainly get at the onset of puberty, when he is asked if he wants cross sex hormones, is he going to say NO? After all this–the media fanfare, the fame, the definitive statements from everyone in his family? Hey, no, this was all a mistake. I’m going to embarrass myself and my family and say none of this was real.
Unless DEtransition becomes a media thing in a decade or two? Somehow I don’t think “Sterilized at 15: A Most Modern Malady” will be quite as sensational–or profit-inducing. Except for maybe a few medical malpractice lawyers.
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If Mama Rose Hovick were around today, she’d probably go around telling everyone that Baby June was assigned male at birth. Or maybe Louise would be the trans kid? Mama Rose did dress her up like a boy onstage so she wouldn’t upstage June.
June & Louise were, at least, famous for an actual skill or talent. With this family, the older kids have something they love and are working at, but Devina’s claim to fame is just being transgender. If these parents really believed that Devina had a rare condition and just wanted to make sure their child could be comfortable and have a good life, why throw said child into the spotlight and why treat Devina’s trans status as something to be performed for an audience?
It seems that MANY of these kids have parents who are eager to shove them into the spotlight. Since it’s being done in the name of raising awareness and educating the public, nobody questions it the way they did with Jon & Kate, the Duggars, the Honey Boo Boos, the girls from Dance Moms, and the Kardashians.
But you notice the first sentence in the promo article for the Keswani show on People.com actually says: “Step aside, Kardashians!”
I wonder if any UK readers of this blog will remember Chris Morris’s controversial sketch show “Jam” and in particular the sketch where a couple, sitting on the sofa with their very young daughter, said that they were convinced she was a 40-year-old man trapped in a little girl’s body so they had taken the initiative to fit her with a penis and testicles themselves? That’s what this reminds me of (the difference being that it was supposed to be surreal black comedy that got away with the subject matter by being so OTT as to be unrealistic …)
The “Beautiful” thing is worrying but a sign of obvious distress; in that situation wouldn’t you try to take your child to a doctor for the psychological symptoms??
The media is making my job as a mom so hard. I keep telling my son that his feelings of being female are the result of all the bulling he went through in middle school. He was called names, was beat up and made to feel bad about himself in middle school, and through the internet saw the term transgender and decided that he was one. He did not like dolls, did not tell us he felt like a girl throughout his childhood. We were floored when he told us at age 14, and since then does not talk about it at home, even though we bring it up and try to talk to him. It always is “I don’t want to talk about it”. However, he has no problem telling everyone at school and decided he wanted to be called a girl’s name at school. Legally at school he is male and has a male name, but the teachers, nurse, school counselors all call him by his chosen girl’s name. I had called and told them I wasn’t consulted and wanted him to be called by his legal name and they told me that he has the right to be called by the name he chose as long as it is not offensive. I told them that as his parent, he is still a minor (now he is a junior in High school), and I want him to be called by his legal name which outside of school, at home, in boy scouts and work etc he is called. I didn’t think that was an outrageous request. They told me no, that the student rights supersede my parental rights. I told them by doing this they are confirming that he is really a girl and are grooming him for a terrible life of surgery, etc. and that they are undoing all that I am trying to teach him at home. They still refused to do comply with my request.
I try to talk to him about why he feels the way he does, etc. but I feel that the media, school and his peers(the girls he talks to not any of the boys that he is friends with) keep telling him that he is right and must go through transition in order to feel better about himself. He still dresses as a boy and , of course he acts like all the other boys he is friends with, but I guess he doesn’t see it. He has nothing in common with the girls. Does he have aspergers or something else? Possibly. We have taken him to two psychologists, we didn’t tell them about his thoughts about himself. We told them about his bullying, the feelings of not fitting in with his peer, his extremely high IQ(we had him tested), his lack of recognizing social cues. As soon as he told them he was transgender, all the counseling was about how to get him on the path to transitioning. All of our concerns about other things going on was disregarded. Of course, we pulled him out.
This sensationalism that the media is creating about this is also confirming in questioning youth that they must transition to ‘cure themselves’. If their parents try to counsel them otherwise, you are automatically transphobic and are only thinking about yourself and what we want and not trying to help our children.
Somehow we have to figure out how to correct all the misinformation out there that our children are being exposed to. How do we do this?
It is terrible to hear that the school refused to even consider your very reasonable side of the issue! And a shame that you had to pull him out of school (although I know I would have done the same in your situation). The media, schools, government, the medical field and many other institutions in their overboard attempts to be politically correct (not transphobic) are not doing anyone any favors. They are stifling the clear-headed, logical, science-based dialogue that needs to get out there, to correct all of the misinformation.
The damage will eventually become significant enough that it will be paid attention to–it has to just based on the ever increasing number of trans-identifying kids . I know this trend ultimately has to end, that people will eventually come to their senses.
Please hang in there, Concerned Mom!
I’m not a parent, but I suppose if I were in your situation I would contact the professionals who signed the “Puberty Is Not A Disorder” letter: https://autogynephiliatruth.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/e1366-1-full.pdf
There is an email address at the end of their letter. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s no longer valid; I expect these doctors have received all kinds of hateful messages. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find some other way to get in touch with them if the email bounces back. I also expect they have been swamped with requests for help from desperate parents and that they can’t see all of these kids personally. But perhaps they can recommend a like-minded professional in your area? It’s worth a try.
The professionals who signed the ‘Puberty is Not a Disorder’ letter, all members of the American College of Pediatricians, support so-called ‘reparative’ therapy, that is, conversion therapy, aimed at straightening out lesbian and gay chilren and teenagers. I would avoid them, personally. They could mess with a kid’s head just as badly as the therapists who support ‘transitioning’, just in a different way.
See for instance the following position papers from the America College of Pediatricians:
http://www.acpeds.org/the-college-speaks/position-statements/parenting-issues/empowering-parents-of-gender-discordant-and-same-sex-attracted-children-2
http://www.acpeds.org/the-college-speaks/position-statements/parenting-issues/on-the-promotion-of-homosexuality-in-the-schools
Thank you for the information. I didn’t know they supported reparative therapy. Their letter sounded reasonable and didn’t ring any of the usual religious right alarm bells. For the record, I am 100% against conversion therapy.
It’s such a shame that there are so few options out there for parents. If a kid is struggling with gender dysphoria, the choices seem to be:
1) Label them as transgender, socially transition them as quickly as possible (even if the kid is a preschooler), and then set them on the path to becoming a lifelong medical patient. Never mind that there is no scientific evidence that the blockers-to-hormones-to-surgery route is safe for kids, or that these doctors will not address other issues that may be causing or contributing to the child’s gender dysphoria (autism, bipolar disorder, a history of sexual abuse).
2) Put them in a reparative/conversion therapy program where they are programmed and shamed into conformity.
3) Taking the kid from one professional to another, hoping to find someone who will actually address the child’s problems instead of pushing an extreme agenda on them. (This seems to be what most of the families who post here are trying to do.) Unfortunately, these kinds of professionals are hard to find; 4th Wave posted an article the other day where they all chose to remain anonymous. That’s why I went back and found the “puberty is not a disorder” letter. I remember it actually had names attached to it. But no, DON’T contact these doctors if they’re into conversion therapy.
this is chilling. I have no advice for you, unless you want to homeschool him, which might or might not make sense for YOU and for HIM. If he’s super-invested in this idea, it’s going to be hard to reason with him, that’s for sure.
I am amazed how quickly the power of this narrative has grown to trump all common sense, and that dissenting voices, professional and parental, have been so effectively quashed by the power of the “transphobic” accusation. This kid is FOURTEEN years old — nowhere close to being a non-minor — and so many things such a kid would say are taken with the knowledge of adolescent development in mind. I.E. — adults in general know that kids of such an age are not yet ‘in their right minds’ and cannot make the kind of well-reasoned decisions, weighing consequences appropriately, that an older person can make. Because … frontal lobe development issues. Yes?
But the power of the “kids know what they are from an early age” idea has trumped every other bit of knowledge people bring to EVERY OTHER ISSUE of child development. And it’s trumped every story of people out there (transitioned and not transitioned) who firmly believed they were one thing and then after months or years of development actually decided that they were not.
Kids do NOT know what they are. Not in a settled way. Ergo the oft-quoted stats about development of a very high % of nonconforming kids into gay/lesbian/bi or even straight nonconforming (or conforming) adults, vs trans adults.
If it becomes the norm to TREAT nonconformity with social and medical transition, though, that % of nonconforming people who turned out not to identify as trans in adulthood is going to go down.Nonconforming kids are not going to be allowed that option. Because the decision and the possibility of a life without these long-term medical consequences will have been removed by the responsible adults in their lives — not just their parents but the doctors, the psychs, the teachers, the peers, the media, you name it.
There are some precedents for this kind of “turn the youth against their parents via narrative” strategy, in service of a higher cause. Naming them, of course, makes a person sound like an extreme terfy right-wing transphobe nutjob. But the are, in fact, precedents. Similar examples of ideology driving a wedge between kids and their parents. Hitler Youth. Cultural Revolution. Those things didn’t turn out well for anyone.
There’s another angle, too. Even the kids who don’t undergo hormones/surgery at puberty are being groomed to be part of the new narrative that “some women have penises.” We are talking about the undermining of the very basis of common sense and science here. Some blog had a sarcastic post called “sexual dimorphism is a cissexist conspiracy!” But that’s pretty much what activists say, in all seriousness. I guess at least for those kids who are considered “trans” but aren’t medically transitioned at puberty, they wouldn’t have to deal with all the physical health issues and permanent changes related to medical transition, and they’d at least have a chance of changing their minds–and jettisoning the ideology they’ve imbibed–when they grow up and can think critically about all this stuff…
Ah, 4thwave, I am an old-fashioned woman at heart, I reckon. I believe words MEAN something … especially words as fundamental as man and woman, male and female, good and (yes) evil. I’m not enough of a relativist to buy the whole ’50 genders, pick what you want, anything narrower is hopelessly outdated’ argument. I think there are some pretty major bad consequences involved in rendering words meaningless that are fundamental to discussions of human biology.
To quote lewis carroll…. control of language is a fundamental means of throwing people off-balance when you’re in the process of seizing power:
“When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’
“’The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’
’The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master — that’s all.’ ”
i would try to find a therapist who does not subscribe to the gender trend. also, spend some time talking to your son (i know its hard to get them to sit down and talk to you) about the difference between being a woman/man (sex) and being feminine/masculine (gender). i think a lot of these kids see most of the adults around them fulfilling (as they see it) gendered behaviors, and don’t understand how socialization and sexism work to make this happen. there are many masculine women and feminine men who are happy with their sex, but not the gender role that was assigned to them, and talking about this with him might help open him up to understanding that he can express any personality traits that he wants (all are merely human traits) without feeling like he has to identify as the other sex. if he is struggling with his sex (body) that could have to do with puberty (changes in the body are scary for many ppl) or the budding sexuality of him or his peers (if he does not feel he views sex as his male friends do, he may feel he is more like his female friends). if you have any, talking about your own experiences being socialized into/feeling discomfort with your gender role would be helpful (if someone ever treated you a certain way because of your sex, or told you you couldnt do something because of your sex… etc.). keep talking to him to understand why he feels this way. good luck!
I must say that I am not a fan of reality shows in general, but I particularly dislike ones that include children (even ones of the non-transgender variety). I think it is just wrong! They are using these children for entertainment and not considering the great impact it will have on them.
‘So the family isn’t new to social-media stardom, and Mom Vaishali’s Linked-In profile lists her main career as “talent manager” (with only one client listed so far–her son, “BigNik”, though that might change soon enough with the addition of a new star to the roster)…’
What is being done to Dev, Jazz et al can be paralleled from the history of the castrati: boys who were castrated because their parents hoped they would become star singers.
http://www.singingvoice.net/castrati.html
I am so sick of these people. The ones promoting and inventing the whole transgender thing. And then pushing it on kids. I’m also sick of reality TV in general and this kind of crap in particular. I’m sick of the gender bound mom in this. That’s what I’m sick of.
I loved the picture of Roosevelt. But now you’ve done it, the transactivists are going to retroactively trans him. 🙁 He really does look girly. 😂😂😂 But, but… he defeated Hitler! Yeah, but he didn’t defeat Hitler when he was six.
“The elephant is sad.” Hey, the elephant is smiling. Just saying.
A tangential point about castrati. I thought that they were impotent. But apparently men who have had their testicles removed can get erections and have sexual intercourse. There’s no sperm. Which at least means that when all these boys being railroaded decide to detransition it will be very very slightly less bad. Still sterilized though.
Thank you for your suggestions. I don’t feel that I can trust any psychologists, especially in the state I live in (NJ) because of the laws that have been passed regarding ‘conversion therapy’. Basically in my state, laws were passed that do not allow this therapy to be used to try and change anyone’s thoughts of their sexual or gender identities. My son is now 16 and a junior in high school. I feel that I am the only one who tells my son the truth of things. The school and teachers go along with him. The media encourages him with all these ‘happy’ trans kids, Bruce Jenner getting awards for being a woman, etc.. Everywhere he looks he can find stories of how great a life he will have as a transgender person. That he will be accepted, that he is brave and someone to be looked up to for going in this direction. I don’t want to alienate my son. He knows I love him no matter what he decides. I just want him to realize that he can be himself in the body that he has and that there is no need to change it.
I saw on this blog a comment from a detransitioner, thirdwaytrans. I read his blog. HIs story from his childhood seems very similar to what I believe was the start of my sons problems. That his dysphoria was caused by his belief that he couldn’t be himself and a man because of all the abuse he received as a child for being ‘too weak’, ‘sissy’, etc. Later he found out that the adult world is not like the childhood environment. That there are plenty of people who will accept him for the man that he is. That the alienation from his body was caused by what it symbolically meant about who he could be in the world. It took 20 years and many hours of therapy for him to discover this. I am hoping that my son has doubts and that I can put this bug in his ear. That he is too young to make this decision. That there may be other reasons he feels this way that he has not wanted to think about because it is too painful. That surgery and transition is not the only answer.
There are Radical Feminists who are trying to expose the trans con and cult. It’s an uphill struggle, but you will find support. Here are some articles and blogs:
http://thenewbacklash.blogspot.com
http://dgrnewsservice.org/2015/07/24/on-sacred-biology-interview-with-michelle-peixinho-and-mary-lou-singleton /
https://thefeministahood.wordpress.com/2015/04/05/what-is-a-woman/
http://ed5015.tripod.com/SkepticSexChange88.htm
http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/07/25/a_butch_lesbian_rejects_a_non_binary_identity.html#lf_comment=192699949
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/07/opinion/sunday/what-makes-a-woman.html?_r=0
http://genderapostates.com/
I’m familiar with most of these but appreciate the links so all readers can take a look. Thanks!
The medical malpractice lawyers need to bleed these quacks dry. Hopefully that happens sooner rather than later.