Seemingly overnight, US public schools have been transformed into no-questions-allowed re-education centers for inculcating the notion that children as young as 4 or 5 years old can be innately transgender, and that any student, of any age, who claims to be or “feel like” the opposite sex is entitled to use not just private bathroom stalls, but shared locker rooms and showers designated for the sex s/he “identities with.”
As a result of this imposed sea change in US school policy, there has been a growing pushback from parents across the nation; the battle is raging fiercely, having recently reached the Supreme Court in one important Virginia case. And yesterday, it was announced that a federal judge had issued a “nationwide injunction” to halt the Obama administration’s directive to open school bathroom/locker room facilities to any student on the basis of their stated gender identity.
The mainstream media continues to (inaccurately) present the issue as between two clear opponents: Right-wing, homophobic and transphobic reactionaries, vs. the virtuous progressives and forward-thinking people who unquestioningly support President Obama’s “guidance” to force public schools into compliance with trans activist demands. (Regular 4thWaveNow readers will know that most parents who congregate here are of the liberal/Democratic persuasion.)
Parents who have questions about the wisdom of this exercise in social engineering are ignored, marginalized, and even deliberately excluded from decisions about how their children are treated during the school day (and on overnight field trips, as well). A few months ago, 4thWaveNow contributor Overwhelmed wrote a post about the situation in US public schools, and yesterday, a very important post, “Gender Activism in Schools,” appeared on the blog Youth Transcritical Professionals, written by a parent named Emily, who has been embroiled in a battle with her 4th grader’s public charter school and school district.
The brawl at Emily’s school–Nova Classical Academy, in St. Paul, Minnesota–started and then escalated when the parents of a 5-year-old demanded opposite-sex toilet access for their son-now-trans-daughter. According to Emily’s account, the school went from being a place where all parents’ views were respected, and where they had consistently enjoyed a major role in setting school policy, to a very different situation: a school where administrators and teachers knowingly hide information from parents in the name of adhering to an ideology that may neither be questioned, nor tailored to the needs of all the children and families in the school community—not just those who claim a trans identity.
I highly recommend that you read all of Emily’s post, and then ask yourself: Is this the way major social change should take place in a representative democracy? Should the executive branch subvert the checks-and-balances of the US legislative and judicial branches of government to bend a balking populace to its will?
Here’s a slightly tangential thought experiment. Trans activists are forever comparing their efforts to that of the fight of gay and lesbian people to attain civil rights. But twenty or thirty years ago, can anyone imagine that adult gay and lesbian activists would have dreamed of demanding that public schools identify and “affirm” those kindergartners most likely to grow up to be gay or lesbian (the adult outcome for most “gender nonconforming” children)? Back in the halcyon days of the LGB and women’s liberation movements, the idea of bringing children as young as 5-years-old into a discussion about private body parts, or whether LGB people are “born that way” would have been beyond the pale—let alone any such initiatives being mandated by the President of the United States.
Emily wrote to ask us to reblog her post. We went a step further: We asked parents in our blog community if anyone would like to share their own experiences with their children’s schools vis-à-vis transgender issues and rights. From the accounts we’ve received so far, it’s evident that private schools are also affected, and the situation in UK schools is very similar.
Several of the below contributors (most of whom are not at liberty to identify themselves publicly), as well as Emily, who wrote the original post on Youth Transcritical Professionals, are available to participate in the comments section below. Please feel free to add your own school-based experiences to the discussion.
Parents weigh in: School experiences
Nervous Wreck says:
My 18-year-old daughter’s very sudden decision to transition only happened after she herself learned as a public high school senior about the whole concept of transgender from classmates. It provided her an answer that made sense to her…a highly intelligent girl who never quite “clicked” with other girls. For her it was the power of suggestion from a classmate. How much more powerful the suggestion might be if it had come from the instructor?
Where I live, the public schools give a presentation to the parents about the sex education/STD materials that will be presented to students in the various grades. Parents are allowed to watch the very same videos that our students will watch, and parents are given the option to opt their student out of these presentations. Our students are not mandated to learn sex education from our public schools. We parents have the choice to teach our own students at home if we so desire.
Why is it not the same with gender identity materials? Are the health instructors expected to teach these materials as scientifically proven when it is not? Even if I didn’t opt-out of these materials, I want to know what the schools are teaching so I have the opportunity to have my own discussion with my child.
This all makes me sound terribly conservative doesn’t it? But I’m a life-long Democrat. I just happen to have a spiritual life that helped me as a youth to accept that our bodies are a gift to accept as is, simply a vehicle for carrying our spirit around. One does not have to be “conservative” to have a spiritual life….let’s put an end to the “right/left” notion about gender identity. I myself have certainly never felt pinned down by gender stereotypes.
Gary (New London, MN) says:
Early in the spring of 2015, a number of NL-S school district residents met with the school board to express concerns about their proposed transgender policy. This controversial policy was presented without any advance notice to parents or the community. We were stunned that the Board of Education and the administration chose to ignore our request to delay its adoption. Very few have had the opportunity to become aware of the policy, or to read and understand its implications. A simple delay is a most reasonable request. Why the rush?
Are we in this community ready for a policy that allows boys to use the girls’ locker rooms and girls’ bathrooms and to participate on the girls’ athletic teams? That will be the almost certain result if the school board’s proposed transgender policy is adopted.
The proposed policy states that the school is committed to “maximizing the social integration” of transgender students. This means that boys who at any time wish to see themselves as girls can do anything in schools that the girls do. These boys can use any of the girls’ facilities and participate on any of the girls’ sports teams.
We weren’t misled by the superintendent’s statement that it may be that transgender students could use “gender neutral” bathrooms and showers. Other schools tried that approach only to find themselves sued by GLTB lawyers and then forced to open all girls’ facilities to the boys. “Maximizing the social integration” for transgender students does not allow for keeping the boys’ and girls’ bathrooms and showers separate.
Our Board’s proposed policy says that “sex is assigned at birth.” What kind of fantasy is that? My own experience is hearing the doctor or nurse say, “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” I have yet to hear the doctor ask, “Which sex shall we assign this to baby?”
Aren’t schools supposed to teach our kids about the real world? This new policy requires our schools and teachers, by word, example and policy, to substitute a fantasy world for the real world and force our kids to conform to a make-believe world where biology isn’t real.
And what about the nonsense that putting our kids into a fantasy world will supposedly lower suicide rates? There is no evidence that such is the case. But, when we enter fantasy land, there are no limits to where it takes us, because truth and reality no longer matters.
We need to provide safety to all children, and many see this policy, as written, as harmful to every child. Keep in mind that most gender-confused children lose their confusion by the time they reach their 20’s. We all want all children to feel loved and accepted. Are we really helping them by affirming their confusion, rather than helping them address the underlying issues causing it?
After much deliberation and many revisions to the policy, the school board refused to remove the most objectionable wording that was contained in the policy; that being: No one will be denied access to opposite-sex bathrooms or shower rooms.
We formed a community group in order to better equip us to oppose the ‘Gender Inclusion Policy’ (as they later labeled it), and with the help of numerous parents and concerned citizens did convince the school board to table the proposed policy until further guidance has been initiated either by the courts or other educational entities.
Miriam says:
Last February, a 15-year-old boy who claims to be a girl walked into the girls’ locker room at the school my child attends and began to undress in front of them. The girls, who were changing for basketball practice, some without shirts or shorts, were shocked and upset by the boy’s presence, so they ran out of the locker room wearing towels to a bathroom to finish changing. The boy tried to use the girls’ locker room again two days later, but was prevented by one of the girls’ boyfriends, who stood in his way. The girls in the locker room were devastated; they hadn’t been warned that boys would be allowed to use the girls’ locker room.
I got together with a few other mothers and we called the police to notify them of ongoing indecent exposure at the school. Then and only then did the school write an email to a few of the parents to inform them that there was a transgender girl (biological boy) using the girls’ bathrooms and locker rooms. The letter looked almost identical to the one that the Palatine school district used to notify families of bathroom use regulations. Additionally, the school told parents that we did not have a choice in the matter. They said we could home school our children if we didn’t like it.
The school then hosted a LGBT information night for parents and a day training session for students and teachers. The gender training facilitator used the “Gender Unicorn” as a visual aid for the students. The concerns of parents about mixed bathrooms were dismissed and there was no interest in finding a compromise. We discovered that our school had been hiding the fact that there was a boy in the girls’ room for over a year. They never said a word until the police got involved. Also, we were told that the district is “required by law to allow the boy to use the girls’ bathroom and locker rooms.” The same boy, who has been allowed to be a member of the girls’ basketball team and the girls’ marching band, has also demanded to sleep in the same hotel rooms with girls on band trips, but he has so far been denied.
A district elementary teacher reported that she was told by the administration that she was required to allow her students to use opposite-sex restrooms if they “identified” as the other sex. A female elementary student was even told to use the boys’ bathroom, simply “because she likes to do ‘boy’ things” and prefers pants to dresses. They claimed the law required telling her that.
Don’t believe the rhetoric about gender identity laws simply allowing someone to pee in peace; it’s not just about the bathrooms!
I would encourage parents everywhere to go to school board meetings. Be proactive and ask your athletic director to make sure your children have access to an alternate changing, showering, and restroom area.
ThinkingMom says:
Emily’s story has struck a real nerve with me. My children have been attending a school very similar to the one that Emily’s kids attended, in another state. It has been a great school and was founded on classical teaching. My older child started having issues with what we are now learning is a borderline personality disorder, and possibly autism spectrum disorder. She struggled with the large amount of homework at that school so we moved her to an associated charter school. There, she was friendly with several kids who were identifying as “gender non-conforming.” They started doing lots of cosplay, and copious Internet use – YouTube, Reddit, Tumblr, DeviantArt. Suddenly, my daughter started dressing differently, cutting her hair short, and even started some drug use.
Now in public school, she started going by a male name and male pronouns. The public school, of course, has the policy to accept whatever kids present as, without parent consent or knowledge. Each of the teachers and counselors I have dealt with are very apologetic about not being able to respect the parents by using given names, but have apparently received a directive to “make the student feel accepted and comfortable.”
The longer my daughter has gone by male pronouns and a male name, the more anxious, depressed, and rebellious she has become. At home, she generally acts the way she has always acted, no pretense of male persona, no voice altering. But she becomes irate when we don’t use her preferred name and pronouns because after all, “HE is accepted and admired at school by friends for being so unique”– we just are ignorant and don’t see who HE really is.
I will tell you who SHE is: She is still the sensitive, creative, intelligent girl who loves to take walks in nature and collect wildflower bouquets and unique rocks and bugs. She still gets compliments on her beautiful singing voice, on her beauty, and her kindness. But now, with all the “support,” she cusses like a sailor, sits with her legs wide apart and talks loud and abrasively, rude and crude, when in public.
The schools are just making things worse by making this a part of the education system. It is something that should be dealt with by professionals, therapists, counselors–and by the families. It makes things so much worse with the open and blatant pandering to the activists. These kids are suffering and the help they need is NOT to become the poster child for their school, or their community. The pressure to continue on the path of transition is now so intense, just because everyone is now watching.
What it is becoming is another platform for activists who use children as pawns for their activism. It keeps the real problems – mental health issues – hidden and undiagnosed. Self acceptance is so important for every human being. Why has it become such a taboo subject and so many are working against it for the sake of permanent damage – hormones, medication, surgery – that will not even touch the real issues?
I do agree with one thing: School should be a safe place for all kids. ALL KIDS.
So why are the rest of the kids, the ones who aren’t suffering from these mental health and identity issues, being pushed aside? Their feelings about themselves, the world, their friends and life in general, are being squashed and treated as unimportant compared to the few kids whose parents are intent on pushing the agenda on everyone, maybe for their own 15 minutes of fame and attention? I am not saying it’s the parents’ fault in every situation, since every one of these situations also have a lot of other professional adults involved. I just see this as such a tragedy for everyone involved. We need to stop it now. With this new school year, I see the problem getting worse, much worse, before it ever gets better. But it has to get better, for the sake of our kids and the future for all.
Jane says:
I took this photo over the summer. This appeared on the main bulletin board in a progressive private school that goes from grades 7 through 12. Tuition at this school runs about $30k per year. Most upsetting thing to me about this poster is that “female” has nothing to do with biology: “Female: identifies as a girl. Does not necessarily refer to genitalia.” Might as well teach creationism.
This is not the only progressive private school in the area to have swallowed trans ideology.
UKMum says:
This is happening in UK schools too. My daughter is one of seven other trans-identifying girls who live within a square mile of us that I know of (clearly social contagion).
One day, she and another trans student knocked on the door of the school counsellor’s office, and requested to be known by boys’ names and pronouns. She told them that we, her parents, were ‘not supportive’ and it was therefore kept secret from us. She was given a new ID badge, all the school records were changed and she was helpfully advised right there and then that she would have to change her name legally by deed poll if she wanted to write her new name on her exam scripts. (So of course, that is what she eventually did!)
The first I knew of this was when the school ‘slipped up’ and sent me a text communication with her boy’s name on. I was driving, pulled over to read the text, and then spent half an hour crying in a layby, until I felt stable enough to continue driving. What a shock!
I wrote to the school, telling them that we were considering having her assessed for Aspergers, pleading that this affirmation by adults in authority would not help at this stage, that this had come out of the blue, etc. I felt it was wrong that she wasn’t interviewed individually by the counsellor and that two kids going together on the same day to request the same thing, should have raised alarm bells about ‘influences.’ Also, as she was wearing a new ID card, with a male name, if she was involved in an accident, she could potentially receive the wrong treatment, since her emergency contacts (us and her grandparents) do not use that name, nor would hospitals be able to access her medical records. (How would they find them, since they are not in this new name?) I felt this was a duty-of-care issue, and the school relented and told her she would have to just use the first initial of her birth name on her card, whilst it was still her legal name.
Of course, within weeks of being known as male at school, she developed dysphoria and felt that she now could no longer go out without a chest binder. Next, she began to be dysphoric about her voice and to intentionally lower it…then a new way of sitting, and beginning to be aggressive and swearing a lot. All of this was completely out of character. Our family and friends have looked on aghast at the rapid decline of our sweet, sensitive, funny, overthinker. It is a nightmare.
Our scepticism has caused great damage to our relationship which has all but broken down, with both sides feeling hurt and disrespected.
During part of the time we were going through all this, our daughter attended a girls’ school. While one might think single-sex schools would be immune to some of this, the official GSA in the UK has now begun the process of replacing the word ‘girls’ with ‘pupils’ so as not to misgender anyone.
Now I don’t want my daughter to go to University because I am afraid that she will be encouraged further down the road. And as she is now an adult, we will just have to stand by and watch her disappear.
Skepticalmom says:
Well-meaning adults need to understand just what they are encouraging kids to do when they give blanket acceptance to all things trans. Well-meaning school administrators and parents just don’t realize what sort of damage they are doing to kids when they apply transgender ideology within their schools. Although trans is associated with gay rights and acceptance, trans is a much different animal. Of course we want to be accepting of all children, but should we accept, without question, children’s fantasies and false beliefs? While compassion is admirable and necessary, it is not an act of compassion when adults lead children to believe they are or can become the opposite sex.
We are allowing young people to be drugged and even surgically altered, based upon their personal, self-identified beliefs — which have no basis in science. Not only is trans ideology based upon belief rather than scientific fact, the end result is kids who are tethered to the medical system, receiving ongoing medical treatment, for the rest of their lives. School are accepting this and encouraging it. They should be teaching science instead.
Well-meaning adults also may not know that most kids who say they are trans grow out of it if left alone (in other words, no social or medical transitioning) to mature into adults. Well-meaning adults may also not know that many kids who claim to be trans have pre-existing problems such as past sexual abuse or physical or mental trauma, or have mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. There is also a correlation between autism spectrum disorder and kids who claim to be transgender. These issues need to be carefully, thoughtfully and thoroughly explored and sorted out by professionals. Unfortunately, however, current medical protocol allows kids to be socially transitioned immediately upon self identification and begin medical transition shortly thereafter.
My own family is quietly and privately struggling to get my teen daughter past her feelings of not wanting to be female. She is making progress with the help of a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. She says doesn’t want to be a man — it’s just that she doesn’t feel comfortable as a woman. Yes, this is progress. Yet, if well meaning teachers, parents or administrators invite the trans political machine into our school, I can guarantee you all progress would be lost as she would feel encouragement or even pressure to further her male persona.
My child’s school doesn’t know what we are dealing with at home. In order to help other students who might be dealing with the same issue either now or in the future, I would like to warn our school’s administrators and counselors of the dangers and junk science behind transgenderism, and the fact that teen girls, especially, are falling prey to trans social contagion. I would like to help implement a program that teaches both boys and girls about the dangers of todays easy-access internet porn. However, I must wait until my child is out of our school system, as I can’t risk them finding out about her problem and encouraging it.
Families should be allowed to deal with these situations privately, allowing their therapists, psychiatrists and physicians to do what is right for each individual patient. It is harmful to our kids when schools encourage them to believe they are something they can never be (the opposite sex), or encourage our kids down the path toward dangerous, invasive, unnecessary and never ending medical “treatments.”
TheMom says:
My daughter goes to a very large public high school. As she has not come out publicly, she has not experienced any issues. I do know that her school last year was looking at changing bathroom and locker room policies in anticipation of accommodating trans students. They had one openly trans student a few years ago (FtM), and that student used the bathroom in the nurse’s office, which the student did not find acceptable. But the student graduated and moved on. The school board said that they have a dilemma because their current policy doesn’t allow students to use individual locking bathrooms. Students could go in there and commit suicide, do drugs, have sex, etc. and it would be very difficult for security to get in the bathroom. So they were looking at options. They already have changed their PE policy, stating that students are not required to wear a PE uniform, and that students don’t even have to change for PE if they don’t want to.
That Texas judge is going to be challenged as overreaching. Some case or another is going to go to the Supreme Court next year after (likely) Clinton appoints a new justice, and then the challenge will be to flip at least one of the five liberals. The best approach meanwhile is more publicity about what’s really going on here, not just the whitewashed version. Thank you and your contributors for everything you do to contribute to this important work.
I feel like I am reading al my daughters stories and what we are going through right now. Psychiatrist and councilors are not even helping. We currently homeschool and have been able to keep her from social transitioning but now they are telling us that we should be putting her in public school so that she grows up and out of this fantasy. I fear that will be leading her to the fire and will fuel her trans ideology.
Thank you all for your input and stories. To know I am not alone has been tremendous as well as the guidance of what has helped your children to wake up.
Of course psychologists and psychiatrists are not going to be of any help. Their entire careers and their field is – and always has been – entirely based on taking the patient’s word for whatever happens/happened in the patient’s life. Even when there are other people available to give different perspective on events, they are rarely if ever consulted by “mental health professionals”.
Also, “mental health professionals” are the source of the belief so endemic in our culture at the moment that any sort of sexual incident in childhood is not only the worst thing that could ever happen to a human being, but will continue to have negative effects throughout the person’s life even if the person can’t recall the event – and even if the event never happened (see the False Memory Syndrome Foundation for details)
Finally, even though it has long been known that one of the best ways to alleviate depression is to get off your butt and do something toe help someone else, professionals have their patients sit around and talk about themselves, journal about themselves and focus on themselves.
My daughter – who wants to be a man – had a fancy private high school counselor, and a private therapist that were disasters. The school counselor was focused on protecting the school, not my kid. And the private therapist really stoked my kid’s anger against me and my husband.
These people had no real experience with trans kids – and I suspect had only heard that horrible trans suicide rate and freaked. Who wants a suicide on their hands?
We finally found a fantastic family therapist – desperate to counter the other therapeutic disasters. He was super experienced in teen development, had experience with trans kids, and yet NOT not hijacked by her “trans” issues.
Okay, he talked to her about trans. Then he asked her about her anxiety, depression, social phobias, separation issues? Hm, my kid didn’t want to talk about that!
He quickly concluded that my kid’s “trans” was not an inner identity, but a social construct fed by a need for prestige.
This was great help to us, the parents.
(It did not, however, keep my kid from going to college and starting a chemical transition, at one of those “trans-cheerleading” clinics. Our goal as parents is not to feed her rebellion further by objecting.)
But my point is this: there is still hope for a therapist. Look for one who is not hijacked by trans. They can be hard to find, but worth it. The sanity you save may be your own!
“It did not, however, keep my kid from going to college and starting a chemical transition, at one of those “trans-cheerleading” clinics.”
I am in this same very painful and scary situation.
“Our goal as parents is not to feed her rebellion further by objecting.”
….this is so extremely hard, because every part of my being wants to be sure she understands that I object and what my reasoning is. If it is a mental health issue, let me help you find help. If it is an intellectual exercise, let’s have a conversation.
Are you continuing to pay for her college? I feel a great need to lay out some conditions that come with my continued financial support.
I totally understand where you are, Nervous Wreck.
I can tell you what we’ve done, with the help of a competent therapist, that we felt was right for our kid. I can’t give you advice, but I would also never judge you because you know your own kid far better than I ever will.
Our therapist says in his experience, kids go on hormones for a few months, a couple of years at most. Very few stick with it in the long run.
Our job as parents is to remember the long run – and stay the course.
And as repulsive as it is that she’s on testosterone, we try to take the long view.
How long is this going to last? Where is she going to be in 20 years? 10 years? We just can’t see this lasting that long. As far as we can tell, it doesn’t make her happy.
She has to figure that out for herself. And anything we say just fuels her rebellion.
For many months, I sobbed every day. The tension in our home was unbelievable. The trans issue crowded out every other issue on the table: mainly, where are you going to college? (Oh, let’s obsess about trans, so we don’t have to discuss what’s actually going on!)
First, to calm our daughter’s rebelliousness, the therapist advised:
– scatter trans advice books around the house so our daughter could see them. Doesn’t matter if you read them or not.
– mention that you’ve joined an online support group for trans parents. Doesn’t matter if you engage in it or not.
Second, focusing on getting our daughter launched to college, my husband and I have stayed the course and:
– asked her to get her first job to make her spending money for college. Not thrilled she dressed as a boy, but in the long run, a job was a huge learning experience. Because a boss will tell your kid everything you would – but they’ll listen to a boss. Sorry, it’s the truth.
-When she made a ton of money, we offered to contribute 50/50 if she’d open a Roth IRA. Which she did. Again, introducing her to thinking in the long run.
-bought an automatic car when she was too anxious to learn to drive our manual. In the long run, she’s better off learning to drive. Really increases her feelings of responsibility and independence.
– fully supported her financially in college, as we always said we would. Not thrilled that she’s living in a boys’ dorm as a boy – but in the long run, she’s far better off in college than she is at home.
– asked her to be involved and financial responsible for getting tuition bills paid. (This is a completely different post: My daughter has very anorexic attitudes about money, and we didn’t want her to be one of those kids who never saw a tuition bill. We transfer money to her account, and she writes the check every semester. We don’t require her gratitude, and yet we give her a chance to see it in action. More later if you’re interested…)
– didn’t even ask about her housing situation, until she said she’d called the school and asked to live in a boys suite, as a boy. Okay. In the long run, she’s living in a dorm, working out her social issues.
– we are careful to take our communication cues from her. we don’t “chase” her for conversations, and wait for her to come to us.
Third: I mentioned before that the great thing about him is that he is not “hijacked” by the trans issue. And in a larger sense, he’s advised us not to be “hijacked” by it, either.
Part of what has fueled my daughter is her intense separation and individuation issues. And so he’s advised us to go on living, and living well – and make sure she knows it.
Go on a cruise – without your kid, he said. (Seriously.)
Other things:
I joined a church, and made a bunch of new friends.
We put in a new garden.
I traded my old car for a convertible.
My husband and I snorkel at every opportunity.
We sent her pictures of us at the Mayan ruins we climbed.
You get the picture.
We’re trying to say to our daughter that our life goes on without her, and we’re just fine.
Some of this may chime with you, some not. But it has mightily helped my husband and me. Open to any questions or comments you have!
herculesdemo, my daughter is at a private university (another story for another post), but I hear trans-clans are sweeping most high school and college campuses. So, if your therapist suggests attending public school as a therapy, that is certainly worth questioning. Helping her to find friends she can relate to through common interests, whether male or female, and focusing on those interests and studies would be much better medicine.
I agree with Nervous Wreck to go with your instincts and disregard the therapists if they are recommending public school, or even private school. Keep homeschooling her if possible, and get her involved in something constructive and fulfilling, such as music, volunteer work, robotics, hiking and camping, raising animals, a part-time job, etc.
Yes that is what we have been doing and pushing her to do. To get involved in activities that will be more constructive then “being social wth kids her age in school”. She is around many many homeschool kids. Her complaint is they are not as exciting…
I am in complete agreement with both Nervous Wreck and SkepticalMom’s advice. It’s a sad state of affairs when going against the therapist’s recommendation and avoiding public school is the best option. That speaks volumes.
herculesdemo, keep trusting your gut instincts. You’re definitely not alone in this journey.
Thank you!!
And she came back today from her counciling demanding to not be homeschooled and to go back to public. Of course I mention the boy/girl trans stuff and what bathroom she would use?? Of course she says she will use none and of course will go as her trans self. God help me!! I am losing the fight. I have no more fight in me and I can’t stand her at all.
While I did not homeschool my daughter, I, and so many of us here, have had these feelings. This stuff doesn’t just feel dire — it IS dire. Simply because of the irreversible nature of transitioning. And not being able to stand your kid? Been there, done that, have the t-shirt.
However, YOU have to take care of YOU. First and foremost, you don’t have to do what your kid demands or what the therapist recommends. You can even look for a new therapist. Or, take a break. Or, have a meeting with the therapist and discuss your issues and take on the advice being given to your kid. YOU are part of this as long as your kid is a minor.
Second, you can take a break. It’s OK. Walk away from the computer, go outside, watch something completely ridiculous on TV, go out with a friend. While things seem serious and terrible, you’re wearing an anxiety groove into your brain. AND WE ALL HAVE. Try to take breaks and think about some other things and make some space for your brain to get OUT of the groove. (Sing it to Madonna, if it makes you giggle a little.)
Third, this is likely a long haul deal. As much as you’re hearing and reading about parents “transing” their kids after a year or two, some of us have been in this mess for the same amount of time. And, some of us are seeing our kids desist or change. In fact, for myself, I would say that my daughter has been in flux over this stuff the ENTIRE time.
You’ve found us. You are doing right by your kid! Come here and vent and discuss and continue to show up, even when you don’t want to — even when you don’t feel like it. Also, even without all the trans stuff, this is a time when your kid SHOULD be becoming independent and exploring and making you uncomfortable. Yes, the culture is making this stuff “stick” more than other typical teen rebellions, but still. So, learn to disengage a little. It’s advice I got in my own therapy and it is helpful. We do our best and hope for the best.
Thank you for this post! It is good but incredibly worrisome reading.
Two short notes: first, my youngest just graduated from high school. I am pretty sure there was some fairly intense indoctrination in the trans-PC line, although (since we did homeschool until high school, for reasons having nothing to do with sex ed) I didn’t hear much, if anything, about it. We live in a very liberal area and I can’t imagine they haven’t bought the entire ideology.
One issue about the graduation – and okay maybe this is silly but – our town is also very historic. Every year the ceremony is held on our town green, and up until last year, the girls wore white robes and the boys, green robes. It made a very lovely picture, all those kids coming out, in a big long line, and many parents remembered their own graduation on that very same green!
Last year, a girl who had “transitioned” to being a boy objected to “having” to wear the white robe. S/he was offered a green robe. As is always the case in these stories, that wasn’t good enough. The white robes were done away with altogether and now every student, boy or girl, wears a green robe. And, completely needless to say, anybody who objected to this change is just a trans-phobic bigot, full stop. One girl had wanted to wear the robe of her older sister who died, tragically, the year before but it was the same answer… nope, the white robes were done.
My other point is that all the high schools in our state support, and send contingents to, an LGBTQIA “youth summit” that is held in the spring. I have attended the summit on several occasions, although I do not plan to do so again. Although the conference started out as support for (mostly) gay and lesbian high schoolers, who often do find it a lonely and difficult experience, over the years it feels that it has morphed into a full-on day of propaganda for all things trans. At the end of the “youth day” there was a speak-out for the kids to say what the experience meant to them, and kid after KID got up and “came out” as trans, to huge applause and affirmation from the audience. It was like 40 kids in a row and wow was it scary. Oh but there’s no social contagion going on!
At this point, a “LGBT” youth summit is the last place I’d want to send a kid who is gay, bisexual or lesbian.
Although I do not have children, I would agree with you that an “LGBT” youth summit is no place children should be sent. It sounds like indoctrination–and I’m lesbian. I have watched with dismay as the LGBT movement has morphed into trans this and trans that and that if you oppose any of this you are transphobic. The inclusion of “T” into LGBT is diluting the original aims of the movement–the “T” have little or nothing in common with the LGB. Now that the trans are starting to get children involved in the mess, I am even more appalled. It is all one big nightmare and those of us who see the danger in all of this must work together to fight it. Kids have enough to deal with just growing up.
Where are the girls who are identifying as GAY MEN fit in??? I agree that they shouldn’t be pushing the butch lesbians to transition. I would not care if my daughter identified as a lesbian… But as a gay man? I’m at a loss.
I have a professed gay man 16 yr old daughter. However, she has never had a relationship but says she is attracted to guys. I’m wondering if she would eventually be bisexual. She kissed a girl to rule out if she could be lesbian and didn’t like it. Mind you this was a girl she knew for years as a friend. No wonder she didn’t like it because she wasn’t attracted to her from the start. Sadly, she has come out socially at school which begins soon. I know there was another student who recently graduated who had legally changed her name. Any name change or medical intervention will only be done when she is an adult and on her dime. These are the darkest days for my husband and me.
It seems to be a relatively recent phenomenon for girls to identify as gay boys/men. Prior to this, all trans-identifying women were sexually attracted to females.
From what I’ve read, it appears that the number of girls that believe they are gay boys is growing. No one really knows why, but I suspect the reasons are multi-layered and complex.
Female adolescence is hard (not saying that male adolescence is a cake walk). Hormones are raging. Societal expectations are oppressive. Depression and anxiety are common. If you throw in mental health issues (autism spectrum disorder, borderline personality disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, etc), maybe add in some life-changing experiences (parents divorcing, loss of friends due to a move, sexual assault/rape) and expose them to transgender dogma, it’s not a good mix. I think kids with this background are more susceptible to believe that changing their gender will cure their ails.
I’m guessing when girls become convinced transition is the solution, and realize they are attracted to males, that it makes sense for them to identity as gay men.
Feeling lost: I am so sorry and your not alone. My daughter is 13 and feels the same way. Again homeschooling as been our only savior in trying to control her “social transition”. It is the darkest days and I don’t wish this for any parent.
Overwhelmed: you have nailed it on the head. That is exactly the underlying issues (mine is bipolar OCD depression and anxiety) as well as a possible peter pan affect in “not wanting to grow up into woman” and this is what they come up with to associate with. We have been struggling to get any testing accomplished on the autism spectrum but it’s highly expected.
My son identifies as a MTF lesbian and tells me he is more comfortable “being the girl in a relationship”. What the heck does that mean? He says he’s not referring to sexual activity, but to how he feels. He normally has a talent for critical thinking, but cannot explain it further. This makes me wonder where he is filling his cup of knowledge. I too am at a loss.
I don’t know where the girls identifying as gay men are coming from or fit in. People in the media are already taking seriously – as seriously as trans people a few years ago – people who claim to be trans species. (It seems Rachel Dolezal was outed only a little too early. If she’d been found out this year, she’d be a poster child for “muh identity”)
My trans relative is dating a girl whom the trans relative, the girlfriend and our family refer to as “straight.” When I first heard this, the word, “Bullshit” fell out of my mouth. A girl dating another girl, even one with a crew cut and having chosen a “boy” name. Oddly enough, the name our trans is actually a name equally used by people of both sexes. In our family, there is already a relative with that as a given name who is a woman. But that’s our trans relatives boy name.????
And this is not even the thing that most has me for a loss with the whole “gender” taxonomy. The “trans” persons who intend to keep their original equipment and demand that society treat them as the opposite of their biological sex just appear to me not so much confused as entirely sure of what they want to make the rest of us do.
I cannot tell a lie. That is how I feel. My transman daughter has had everyone at her university and her summer job calling her “he” and her man name. I have not gone over the line with her, it is all so sudden, such a shock, so resembling mental illness, such a LIE! Why am I being forced to tell a lie? she says “living like a woman feels like a lie”, but she never even tried to have any conversation with me first about this. Nope. Just dropped the T Bomb at my feet and I’m supposed to accept it and start telling lies all of a sudden because it makes sense to her young, not-yet-developed misfit brain. I can’t do it. I do have a tendency to see the negative in things….in this case, I can see a whole lot of negative.
Along with a daughter who wants to be a man, my cousin has a daughter who also wants to be a gay man.
This cousin and I share a lot – and we suspect our girls are terrified of any intimacy.
And going trans, or trans-gay-man or whatever, just takes you out of the social-sexual drama swirling around you. You’ve taken all your teen anxieties, fears and insecurities – and projected them outward onto everyone around you. You’re not unhappy because you’re a struggling, narcissistic teen – you’re unhappy because you’re oppressed by hetero-normative culture.
Enduringspark, the “lesbian in a male body” thing bothers me too. (FYI, in case you didn’t see my post on the Introductions page, I’m a father of small children who’s deeply concerned about what they’ll encounter in school in a few years, and I first became aware of the trans phenomenon when adult male friends and colleagues started getting caught up in it.)
So many MTF trans people seem to be guys with highly analytical personalities and stereotypically “male” interests (typically science fiction, computers and video games) who are emotionally vulnerable and/or physically awkward in a way that makes it difficult for them to fit in with “ordinary bros.” I’ve never seen this hypothesis discussed anywhere (it doesn’t fit into J. Michael Bailey’s division of MTFs into gay men and autogynephiles), but I’ve come to believe that for at least some young men who come to a trans identity via social media, the initial impulse is less about “femininity” per se than it is about feeling like an outsider around other males for being too “soft”; it’s not until they start spending time in the online trans echo chamber that they become convinced that this means they have a female “gender identity,” at which point their childhood experiences of not fitting in are retroactively interpreted as evidence that they were “really a girl all along” and that their anxieties would go away if they could turn into a woman.
This is where my username comes from. Sometimes I just want to scream — “You’re fine just as you are! You’re not a ‘lesbian in a male body,’ you’re a heterosexual male nerd, which is a totally normal and okay thing to be!”
I don’t know if this describes your son, but my heart goes out to you and him regardless. This stuff is terrifying.
Excellent observations. We need STUDIES on this phenomenon. It’s new, IT /Internet have exacerbated it. Wonder if ThirdWayTrans might have something to say about this? Will ask him.
I don’t have personal experience with this, but I know I’ve seen posts on GenderTrender about the prevalence of transgenderism in the IT world amongst men. Your theory is interesting to me.
I haven’t been here in awhile, but heteronerd I think that’s the case for both (all?) genders. They don’t see themselves fitting in as a hot teen chick or studly teen dude and think they must fit in a third party. I KNOW that’s what’s going on with my daughter.
I actually have backed off thinking about the trans stuff and talking about it too much. (Haven’t been here in months.) My daughter and I did have one pretty good big talk about a month ago that was more about the topic of transgenderness in general and less about her. I talked some about myself and how “gender identity” is not a thing for me. I am not wrapped up in being a female. I suppose there are some hyper-feminine women out there who have an underlying commentary running in their heads going “I’m a woman, I’m a woman, I’m a woman…” in the back of their heads all day long, but really I don’t think most people spend a lot of time thinking about their gender.
Anyway, I don’t want to position myself diametrically opposed to my daughter because that just never works in our relationship. I have made it clear that I will always love her no matter what gender she identifies as and that I think she’s a very cute girl and (although I inwardly cringed when I said it) makes a cute boy, too. And I have made it clear that I do NOT like elective surgery or medical procedures (not a fan of boob jobs to make them bigger or smaller unless medically necessary as in the case of breast cancer). And that is absolutely true and how I feel — I’ve known too many people who had complications from surgery that doesn’t have anything to do with trans. And I pressed the point that while she feels this way now it’s important to not burn her bridges and to be able to change her mind if she chooses to. She did say that one of her Instagram friends had changed their gender back recently, so I’m taking that as a hopeful sign.
But school has started back up and there is one kid there who has been full on going by a different name and everything for a year or two. Their parents are fully on board with the transition, too. I’m afraid that the girl my dd had a ‘secret’ relationship with last year (secret from the other girl’s parents, although I knew, but my kid denied it to me anyway) may be transitioning. I heard her mom refer to her as J instead of her girl name and saw on one of her social media forums that she posted that J, just J, was her name. Crossing my fingers that that relationship stays really over. J was the one who broke it off and it killed my daughter, but I don’t think they have had much contact at all over the summer so hopefully she can hang out with her other good friend who seems to have dropped the idea of being another gender. That friend had a moment of it, but I don’t think it ever stuck with her thankfully. She’s at least not been dressing the part lately.
MomWantingToTurnItBackAround
You hit on a very interesting thing about all this “gender” stuff – people in harmony with their biological sex don’t spend all day pondering, discussing & blogging about “muh gender”. We mostly think about what’s going on in our lives.
I have to wonder if all of this obsessing about their physical sex somehow being “wrong” blinds them to the fact that we don’t sit around obsessing about how our sex is somehow “right”.
I also wonder if maintaining all of these physically impossible ideas about biological sex and manufactured gender is so difficult that it requires spending all available time focused on “gender issues”.
heteronerd, you’ve just described my son perfectly. And trust me — all of this IS terrifying.
I think it’s sometimes that they’re autistic or have some autistic traits, and that’s what’s leading the to struggle with the social construct of gender and to buy into this. Yes, it is a bit of a stereotype that autistic people are geeky and it’s absolutely not always the case, but there may still be a connection.
Anyone catch 60 minutes last night? The FtM who attends Harvard. A lot of it doesn’t sit right with me on her/him. 😞 No one seemed to question any underlying issues?? The anorexia?? I feel that she may come to find all her/his issues still remain years down the road. She/he also almost seems Aspergers by the way she carries herself/himself. The hardest thing is how they still portray it all in the media. No questioning. When will they see the other sides???
I think this right in many ways. The connection between nerdiness and trans identity has been well known for quite a while, both in the psych literature and informally. The large number of trans women in Silicon Valley for example has been observed by both the trans community and folks in the industry. This seems particularly connected to the AGP flavor of trans woman. Blanchard observed a connection with computer nerdiness and AGP MTF transsexualism. One of the questions differentiating between the two types in screening test in Bailey’s book actually is “Do you work in computer science, engineering or STEM?”
I agree that the impulse often actually has to do with being soft, and more an aversion to traditional masculinity than femininity. I also agree that people contact the trans community and then find people who feel similiarly to them and retcon their experiences to fit into the trans narrative. The thing that I think people who are more trans critical get wrong about AGP is that sexual turn on is the primary drive for transition. I don’t think this is true, especially as the sex drive is greatly reduced if you eliminate testosterone. It is rather constructing an identity around AGP that leads to transition, and that identity construction process includes all of the feelings you describe. How the identity is constructed is also vulnerable to social contagion and cultural factors like we see today.
This is something that needs further research as there are a lot of things going on and there are too many potential causes so things get confounded.
Trish and MomWantingToTurnItBackAround, absolutely. It’s common sense psychology that the more time and energy a person spends obsessing over something, the more important it becomes to them. And this ties into the (utterly unprecedented) mental health effects of social media, which lets people immerse themselves in a 24/7 echo chamber of mutual reinforcement whose long-term effects we still know very little about.
My peak trans moment, as an “ally” making a good-faith attempt to educate myself on trans issues, was when I discovered how many Trans 101 articles said things like “if you’ve ever thought ‘am I trans?,’ you probably are, because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t even be thinking about it. And if you’re still not sure, hang around the (online) community and think about it some more.”
These were so clearly invitations to develop a self-reinforcing spiral of motivated cognition — in articles by ‘respectable’ activists aimed at questioning teens!
To be clear, I don’t think these writers (MTFs who transitioned in adulthood) were lying or ‘recruiting.’ I think they were being honest about their own transition stories. But their stories involved a lot of motivated cognition, and a long period of mulling their identity over and testing the waters. Which is their prerogative, as adults — but it’s something very different than the official narrative in which questioning teens and children “just know” and must be rushed into medical transition as soon as possible.
Thirdwaytrans, thanks so much for your response. It’s heartening to hear from an actual detransitioned MTF that I’m not crazy or a bigot for noticing this pattern. (I knew that the MTF-and-STEM connection was discussed anecdotally in trans communities, but I didn’t know that it was actually one of Blanchard’s diagnostic questions!) As someone trying as best he can to be supportive of a close friend who is an adult MTF transitioner, I sometimes feel (like so many of the parents here do) as if I’m in an Orwellian situation where my own memories (of a thoughtful, introverted male geek with no previous “feminine” interests or mannerisms) are expected to disappear down the memory hole.
I’m interested in what you have to say about AGP but don’t want to derail the discussion here, I might post a followup on your blog when I have the time.
The New York Times is looking for a reporter to cover gender issues – I just saw the posting yesterday. Among the issues they’d like to better cover are trans issues, the posted said.
We are also struggling with this – 18 year old daughter, autistic traits, suffering from anxiety and depression is suddenly convinced she is transgender. Now heading off to university where we fear no one will challenge her self – diagnosis, so that her beliefs will solidify and she too will be applauded when a lifetime of hormone treatment commences. Professionals please, please, please see what is happening here.
You are right to fear the university campus environment….it totally solidified this belief in my daughter. She went from trying it out to absolutely convinced. My daughter went to the campus counseling center to seek help for her anxiety because my husband and I were not going along with her idea…which made her feel so anxious! Beware campus counselors! They only made things worse since they just go along with the whole idea, calling her “he”. Argh. How disappointing that the counselors in an educational institute couldn’t make an effort to question my daughter and help her dig deeper. What an absolute nightmare we have gone through this past year…I no longer sleep well and fear for my own health with adrenaline pumping 24-7. Parents can’t just stop trying to protect their children just because they turn 18 and their kids think they are now so adult. Today’s “accepting” culture will punish me for my non-accepting tough love stance.
My trans relative was in college for a year, living there as a trans male before any of the family heard anything about it.
Of course the counselor she was put into contact with via the college counselor is a FTT.
This is an amazing post, 4th Wave Now, and it deserves to be seen by everyone. Thank you! Nervous Wreck, I did a quick Google search of gender activism in schools a while back and there are tons of materials for high schoolers to use to force the hand of their administrators. And how tempting would it be, as an angry teen, to use these tactics to start up a firestorm at your school? Piercings and hair dye are so yesterday.
I would really like to create more opportunities for parents to speak out about the suffering their children are going through. No one believes there is a dark side to the trans movement. Reading the testimonials in the lost was so cathartic for me!
Obviously this whole situation is terrible, but what really made me upset today was this paragraph: “The school then hosted a LGBT information night for parents and a day training session for students and teachers. The gender training facilitator used the “Gender Unicorn” as a visual aid for the students. The concerns of parents about mixed bathrooms were dismissed and there was no interest in finding a compromise. We discovered that our school had been hiding the fact that there was a boy in the girls’ room for over a year. They never said a word until the police got involved.”
Transgenderism is harming lesbians—many FtM-identified women and teen girls are attracted to women, and they’re getting hormones and surgeries instead of growing into happy lesbians. It’s infuriating and insulting that organizations that are supposedly “LGBT” are promoting an ideology that harms lesbians. I am and L and these “LGBT” organizations do not represent me. That “Gender Unicorn” drawing is incredibly creepy and looks like it was created by a pedophile. No adults should be telling stories to kids about their genitals being whatever they want them to be. I would NEVER show that drawing to a kid. And not telling parents there is a boy using the girls’ locker room and change room? That is more grooming for girls, wearing down their boundaries and telling them they have no right to safety and privacy if a male wants access to them. That is abuse against all the female students in the school. And the reason they kept this hidden from the parents is because they KNOW parents will be against it. This does not create safety for ANY members of LGB, it only creates opportunity for predators.
That thing the artist drew on the unicorn’s crotch looks like a wrapped piece of candy. Creepy indeed.
I think it’s supposed to be a double stranded piece of DNA.
It really cannot be overstated: Studies–along with the personal experiences of many lesbians–have shown that most LGB don’t fully realize and claim their sexual orientation until 19-20+. The prospect of changing into a “straight man” if you’re a same-sex attracted kid going through a rough puberty would be incredibly attractive. Nearly every news story I’ve ever seen about young FtMs mentions almost casually that they are same-sex attracted; yet no journalist I’ve seen has ever raised a question about WHY the nascent lesbian identity was somehow less real or valid than the trans one.
//4thwavenow.com/2016/01/25/the-surgical-suite-modern-day-closet-for-todays-teen-lesbian/
The trans activists go absolutely BONKERS when this is suggested…ditto in the case of a boy who is likely gay. They do not want to accept that lesbian, gay, and bisexual sexual orientation is real and that very few people are truly transsexual (if any are). They truly create their own “reality” and will not tolerate ANY challenge to it whatsoever.
Miep, I assumed that most parents would be against mixing the bathrooms as well, but unfortunately they don’t always speak up. At our school we first wrote a petition in opposition to mixed bathrooms with a fair number of signatures (I think it was almost 20% of the students via their parents signatures represented.) Then we wrote up a letter to the administration (after the bathrooms were mixed via a board proclamation) and asked parents to sign it if they would NOT allow their child to use mixed bathrooms. 23% of the students were represented on the letter. The point being, when parents realized that their child would actually have to share the bathrooms with the opposite sex, they were a little more motivated. But, just think – that’s 77% of the students whose parents didn’t sign! The pro-trans parents were a small contingent, but they’re loud and have the media, major LGBT orgs and political correctness on their side. A petition they wrote garnered only half of the signatures that our petition did, with far fewer children represented. The biggest problem are all of those people who just check out, don’t care and don’t pay attention.
It can be difficult to publicly take a side in opposition to a neighbor, friend, or schoolmate. I’m not surprised there weren’t more signatures collected for either side. This is one reason parents trust school administration to make the best decisions to keep our kids safe, or to have an anonymous voting procedure in place for school parents, so that friends and neighbors can let their opinions be known without feeling like they are publicly pitted against one another.
The damage that the trans cult is doing to the lesbian community cannot be overestimated. Young butch lesbians are being encouraged to identify as trans and then the pressure begins to bind the chest…and on it goes. We are losing young butches who could be very happy lesbians to this insidious, creepy garbage.
Another thing M to F activists are doing is taking away lesbian space. And if anyone objects, they are called TERF (for anyone that may be new to this, that is the acronym for “Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist:. They ruined MichFest (the nation’s largest lesbian feminist music festival” and they seek to invade women-born women space wherever they can get away with it. And it is not only lesbian space–it’s anyplace that women want to be just with other women.
Wonderful post 4thWaveNow, Emily and parents who contributed!
So many families are being impacted. There are parents of students that have lost their privacy/Title IX rights. And there are parents of students that are blindly accepted by school officials as transgender, encouraging (even celebrating) their child’s mind-body disconnect. It is nice to see an alliance forming, that there are a lot of voices from people across the political spectrum speaking out.
My only hope is that the media can start picking up on this trend but I don’t see them wanting to go against the blind majority.
What we really need is the medical and psychiatric community to start speaking up. Our family doctor says “it is usually a mental health issue”. Did my daughter receive mental health screening and assistance as a college freshman (far from home)…no. The college counselors only affirmed her thinking by calling her “him” and making the whole thing so much worse. I will spare you ugly details for now, but I’ve been left traumatized. The college counselor tells me that I need to seek mental health care. I, the mother of a maybe too-intellectual-for-her-own-good daughter who is obviously the one who needs care accepting her own body, am now indeed going to a psychiatrist. I, a scientist by training who can’t wrap my brain around my daughter very suddenly self-diagnosing as my son, am the one who needs help. What!?!
Somewhere in my online searches I found reference to a concern noted that certainly now pertains…a note of caution that in changing the DSM IV Gender Identity Disorder to the DSM Gender Dysphoria, that it should not be used for transitioning for purely social reasons.
Psychiatrists, why are you being so silent?
Yes nervous!!! This is what is being told to us as well. Thay we are the ones who need the therapy to “accept” these crazy ideas while our wanna be another gender child is being told it’s ok to believe this fantasy.
The Media have, but only to endorse, celebrate and promote. Teens who detransition, families in this nightmare and sceptical professions are fearful of going public. A simple act would be to acknowledge recent reports of the maturing brain (until 25) and ban medical procedures as a consequence, on those underage. They cannot drive, vote, have sex, marry, drink or obtain adult passports, yet we trust them to switch gender? But since way did the media have a moral compass.
This child-transgendering all came from “They’ll pass better if we get to them early.” But if we, as a community, as a culture, truly care about accepting humans as they are, then what is this business of “passing” about? Should we not accept and love everyone regardless of what they look like, including the giant girls and the slight-bodied boys?
And you are completely right, these are vulnerable children, not modeling clay to be played with by unscrupulous medical persons.
Our insecure, questioning girls are being trans-COACHED and trans-CREATED. Any brainwashing experts out there to chime in? How do we reached our lost kids?
Blindsided,
I think it’s a process of social contagion. And probbly a lot of it is self-coaching (though I am aware that there are professionals dealing with teens encourage this. My trans relative spent a lot of the final year of high school doing a lot, including travel with a school group, with one particular teacher, who dropped the Trans Bomb within a month or two of my then 18 year old, newly announced trans relative. Trans relative and the rest of the family insist this is coincidence and the teacher could not possibly have had any influence – even though the trans relative has also announced a career path that is identical to this teacher. Career influence – yes. Trans influence- how could I ever think such a a thing?)
Even if all the trans claims were absolutely right – that people can be born in the wrong sex body, that surgery and hormones can alleviate the distress of such a birth catastrophe, and that resisting a loved one’s call-to-trans will be so damaging as to possibly precipitate suicide, allowing kids to do this in their tender years is not in the kids’ best interests.
Teens & young 20s, especially girls for some reason, are particularly vulnerable to ideas about their bodies that spread like viruses (sometimes the ideas about their bodies are collections of literal, observable symptoms like fainting, vomiting, paralysis of a part of the body).
They’re also at an age when they think “rebellion” means doing exactly what all the kids around them are doing.(These days, “everyone around them” might include who they watch on You Tube and comment with on Tumblr)
Kids who feel awkward – during the years of puberty when the bodies goes through rapid and stunning changes like-it-or-not – can go from being a lonely, awkward, unpopular kid to being Snowflake Royalty, part of a “minority” anyone can join, celebrated by media and forced onto the other kids via special presentations and rules at school.
And parents absolutely hate it. What’s more attractive to a typical sullen teen who desperately wants more than anything else to not be seen by others as typical?
The saddest part is that these kids have no idea of what kind of pleasures and human bonding these organs can contribute to relationships between two loving and committed humans – gay or straight or bi. And the trans activists are demanding that immature-brained kids, in the moment of life where these body features are at highest likelihood of being rejected, commence to potentially irreversible changes to these bodily features that might forever preclude the very pleasures and bonding that can cement a loving relationship for a lifetime.
I am so sad for these kids. They have no idea what they are being encouraged to destroy.
I’m a woman born transsexual, decades past surgery, my life since fairly indistinguishable from everyone elses with the same work, spousal and parental issues we all have, albeit now for me, grandparental… And I qualify myself here as such because this trans-s**t scares the ever-loving-fool outta me!
Anytime I listen to one of these insane people espousing their trans dogma, usually, as an attemp to “educate me” poor ignorant “cis” woman that I am… I’m left completely flummoxed! I haven’t an effing clue what it is they’re blathering on about no matter how long they talk at me, other than I’m pretty darned certain it’s got next to nothing to do with them being in anyway transsexual!
A dear friend of mine had this happen with her daughter. Lovely girl, smart as all get out, but somewhat autistic and very much bothered by the constricting gender roles the world was forcing her into. So, she adopted the guise of lesbian in high school as it meant she could avoid fumbling guys, excel at math and science and not wear make-up… Actually kiss another girl? Nahhhh… She was straight, but claiming lesbian gave her a ready community, and that was what attracted her.
Anyway, she goes off to college, she’s lonely of course, so first thing, she seeks out the is the student LGB-T organization… Only there’s no L anymore! It’s gay men and “trans-men,” period! This is a college with 15,000 kids and not a single lesbian???
Needless to say, it only took three days of indoctrination, and she suddenly was a “he” Too! The really sad irony is that in her search for community, she’s now, five years later turned into this morose and sulken loner, unemployed, and working on an early dowagers hump because of the heavy burden she carries on her shoulders along with her beat down attitude… without ANY sort of community to support her! She’s now about as alone as anyone can possibly get!
Remember, I’ve lived this, and as one for whom early transition would have been a blessing, and it’s always striking to me how a kid who actually is transsexual blossoms after their transition! They’re happy, well adjusted, they’re that friend everyone adores because they’re delightful and indomitable… And it’s more likely than not, no matter how long you know them, you’ll never discover their past, and you’d have a hard time wrapping your head round it even if you did!
Conversely, the legions of deluded, those who transition because of social pressures, mental illness, fetish, or any other reason besides their actually being transsexual go in exactly the opposite direction! They become like this young woman did… Morose, sullen, angry, that person you’d avoid at any cost simply because they’re so damned unpleasant to be around!
And why not? They were sold a bill of goods! They’ve traded their bodies, their youth, and their health for the equivalent of magic beans…
And again, the only reason I put myself into these conversations, other than to offer what little support I can, parent to parent, is that the backlash my sisters and I predicted over two decades back aa this nonsense started gathering steam is happening, and it’s going to sweep the few and rare transsexual kids under the bus… Pity is, I can’t see how to avoid it, because the crazy train has to be stopped!
MKIA
Thank you for your personal and perceptive post: it’s going to sweep the few and rare transsexual kids under the bus – says it all really. Very scary.
Thank you for hearing that…
It really does break my heart, watching this circus unfold because it’s by definition, the epitome of stupid… ie. a loose-loose proposition! Constrictive gender roles are being writ into stone as the same as sex, feminism is being stood on its ear, kids are gleefully ruining their lives to be different, and the pitiful few for whom this should be directed at, are instead being encouraged to accept permanent life-long sideshow staus as the recruitment poster for all the sundry nutters riding their coattails!
I have yet to see a good explanation of how gender dysphoria should really be diagnosed…it is all a self-diagnosis. Very dangerous.
I am one of many women who sees herself so easily in the descriptions parents write here. Precocious, social difficulties, complete lack of interest in femininity. If I had access in high school to a clique of girls who insisted they were boys, I would have found this intriguing indeed. If legal barriers to accessing transitioning treatment, due to my being underage, had then been removed, I might have done anything. I was a teenager, I thought I was immortal.
MKIA, you’ve put your finger on such an important point: If you’re really trans, why doesn’t transition make you happy?
When I was working as a child and family therapist, one of the most frustrating things I dealt with was the fundamental disrespect of school personnel for parents. Schools knew everything, parents were ignorant, any persistent behavior problems were the fault of the parent (usually the mother) and certainly not the school. Add gender political correctness to this equation and you have a toxic mess. The very fact that parents are pushing back against the school’s direction reinforces the school’s belief that parents are the ignorant enemy. Perhaps some kind of third party mediation, I don’t know what or how, is the only way to get past this. There are some very deep systemic issues in educational systems that are involved here. Emily in her article said that the charter school her children attended had a policy of more parental involvement, but that institutional bias is hard to overcome.
This. Thank you. The people who run school think they’re perfect and they are, in my experience, incompetent. I’m sure there are some good ones out there, but I have yet to have my kids enrolled in one. For God’s sake — my kid’s HIPPA rights were violated IN THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER and no one even thought to contact me and HIPPA regulations are pretty straightforward.
By the way, our school district is completely happy to pretend that my daughter can actually BE A BOY and will twist themselves in knots to acknowledge and support that. But my other daughter who has ADHD, the most common and most treated and most well-known learning disability among school-age kids? It took us half her school career to get the school to even acknowledge she might have a concentration and learning issue and then I have to fight tooth and nail to get accommodations and extra help for her to simply get an education.
But go against known biology and social convention into sheer make-believe? THAT is what’s really important.
I feel for you! My son has a near genius level IQ, but it came with ADHD, brain asymmetry, and a paucity of hemispherical interconnections… Net result? As a kid, he was either hyper focused, or easily distracted, and he had to burn off energy constantly… The schools answer wasn’t to teach to his abilities, rather to put him in “special ed!” This kid, who understood negative numbers at four, and who figured out numerical infinity based on a sack of onions at seven on the bottom rack of a shopping cart… Was to them, a kid to be relegated to coloring and pasting until he aged out of the system!
By the middle of the first grade he was so frustrated and angry as they pushed him in areas he was weak and held him back where he was strong, he was self harming! (They didn’t tell us they had reassigned him)
Getting this kid to college was a constant and often daily battle with the “authorities,” all of whom seemed bound and determined to see a kid who would eventually be wait listed for admission at MIT instead bagging groceries, or working on a sheltered workshop!
It’s the frustration of having raised a “different” kid, combined with my own history that makes me so incredibly sympathetic to the plight of parents watching their kids being consumed by “trans-inc!” Knowing first hand the incredible resistance that comes from bucking the system…all because you know your kid, and you simply want the best for them!
Mizknowitall
One school I attended told my parents that I was retarded (this was during a time when educational professionals used that term) My parents insisted on testing. My IQ on that test 134.
Schools that don’t want to deal with complicated kids have always had ways to try to push them away – categorizing the kid as “special needs” or “at risk” or numerous other code words for “not normal”.
Why schools of today want to convince every kid in the room of being a complicated kid I cannot fathom.
It doesn’t seem to me that insisting transgenderism is completely an invention of culture and medicine is a workable stance in this political climate. You will just get derailed into arguments with people who insist they are perfectly happy transsexuals who have the right to be considered the sex they identify with. What is possible is to focus on the lack of meaningful diagnosis.
A lot of people I know think the main goal should be to get rid of gender scripting, and thus transgenderism, entirely. While I understand this view very well, it doesn’t seem realistic, at least at this time (though it is always possible and important to teach about what gender scripting is, how early it starts, how insidious it is, and how harmful).
Ultimately we can’t easily answer the question of whether some transsexuals are actually innately different in some way, in the context of a culture with such heavy gendered socializing. And there are an awful lot of people who believe there are such people (and some who believe they themselves are such people).
So maybe we don’t get what we want here. Maybe we should aim for what we can live with, and this inevitably means cracking down on casual diagnosis of transgenderism, of actually pushing the diagnosis on people. Culturally we tend to expect way too much of medicine, “the more the better,” and also people are overly trusting and often don’t realize how fallible medicine is, how many people simply die each year from medical error. And of course there is a lot of money in these treatments.
If it is impossible to sue health care professionals for misdiagnosing transgenderism, the detransitioning patient doesn’t have any rights. Why is it allowed to have a medical condition that is based entirely on self-diagnosis? Why are there no diagnostic criteria beyond ones laden with gender stereotypes and a patient’s sense of being uncomfortable with herself? Why is addressing sexual orientation not prioritized during assessment, as clearly there are a disproportionate number of people wanting to transition, especially children, who are actually homosexual?
The legal and social acceptance are based on the increasing medical normalization and promotion of transgenderism by medicine. I don’t see how anything gets changed without successfully challenging these medical actions and standards.
This is excellent! Multiple very good points.
Yes medicine is the thing to focus on. There’s no science behind this at all. A lot of people care about that. But just assume that there is if it’s being reported on the news. Laws protecting people from misdiagnosis should be sought.
And in media venues it needs to be emphasized, including to the school people and about the schools, that transgender is REALLY the whole flaky non-binary, genderfluid subculture. It’s not 70s style transsexuals. They may exist. (Or are all men with breasts who the fuck knows) but when the schools sign-on for transgender stuff what they’re getting is the flaky subculture. It’s hugely problematic for the schools to be promoting any flaky subculture because then the other ones will want in. But this one keeps changing around all the time. You say there’s such a thing as having misaligned gender identity and body? By this time next week you’re talking about 50 different alleged “genders”. It’s not feasible for schools to be involved in something that’s so slippery. Even if it was desirable which obviously it isn’t.
The schools, now needing help from the courts, should be able to reject all of this on the grounds that the people promoting it contradict themselves and change what it is from moment to moment. And from location to location. How long until some school district has to except Otherkin identities?
I think there is a genuine desire to fight discrimination that is helping support this trend, but as you note, transgenderism suffers conceptually from a lack of boundaries. I find it distressing to think of children who are genuinely suffering from some problem or another becoming the unwitting victims of increasing frustration (especially parental) about all this.
It’s important to keep focused on what is supporting this ideology. It appears to be a combination of medical opportunism, culturally enforced gender stereotypes, and largely Internet-driven social contagion. All these phenomena have weak points that can be leveraged.
The legal approach is more difficult than it ought to be, due to medical and social normalization of transgenderism. If this was all sufficiently undermined, that would help, but it would still not make medically transitioned people disappear, and would not make them persons undeserving of consideration. It might, however, work to end the concept of this as a potential childhood diagnosis, which would help a great deal.
All excellent observations!
One to add: Along with the self-diagnosis, there must be some way to challenge the doctors who are actually activists.
I know in my daughter’s case, she went to a gender clinic at 18 – and the doctor NEVER asked to see her pediatric medical records.
What doctor does that? How is that not negligent?
This whole “which bathroom I use validates or invalidates my identity as a trans demiboy ponykin” thing pisses me off. Pardon the pun.
It’s so frustrating and depressing to hear all these stories of kids being indoctrinated into trans ideology. Instead of creating new rules allowing boys into girls’ spaces, having classes about gender identity, and making up surveys about “preferred pronouns” and which of the 701 genders students “identity” with, schools should spend their time and money on actual education. It also doesn’t help matters that the catch-all word “queer” has all but completely replaced the words gay and lesbian. Whereas a high school or junior high might’ve once had an after school club or organization for gay, lesbian, and bisexual students, it’s now a “queer” club, or “LGBT” is just a façade for all T, all the time.
I recently found out someone I know online transed her son extremely young, probably around the age of 3 or 4, judging by what she’s said and how quickly the progression of pictures went from a stereotypical boy presentation to a child in “girl clothes.” Every time I see pictures of her “older daughter,” I can only think about how that’s really a boy with long hair and “girl clothes.” It’s pretty obvious that’s not a female child, since the features are rather masculine. I wonder what kinds of accommodations the school has been forced to make for this confused young man, and how uncomfortable real girls are if they know the truth.
I actually first found out about the transing from a self-proclaimed “agender” man, who seems to be obsessed with bringing “gender identity” into everything and anything, and who completely flips out if anyone refers to him as a man or uses male pronouns.
Indeed – “schools should spend their time and money on actual education”. Yes, and let’s start with mandatory biology class for all grades. Throw in some animal behavior and anthropology, with some history of women’s rights.
It is wild when you think of the trickle down effect transgender policies create in school curricula. Grammar – sorry, preferred pronouns take precedence. Biology – sorry, it is widely recognized by scientists everywhere that there are many genders, not just two. Literature – most classics perpetuate gender stereotypes, chuck them. Math – perhaps 2+2=5?
Very true. When I was in high school, the Gay-Straight Alliance actually was for lesbians, gays, and bisexuals. Trans was not a thing and was barely mentioned. Now, all those groups have been replaced by queer clubs where it’s nothing but trans all the time. That, and they tend to attract “bi-curious” (read:heterosexual) kinksters. When I was getting my bachelor’s degree, the GSA there went from having a lesbian majority with some gay men and bisexuals, and straight allies to be mostly a bunch of het men pretending to be lesbians plus kinsters. As an actual lesbian, I avoid those places since I don’t want to be harassed by those creeps.
Speaking of which, it’s kind of ridiculous how this trans stuff gets promoted like this. Most gay men and lesbians won’t proclaim that some random five-year old will grow up to be gay because they will be accused of “recruiting” and pedophilia. Yet “my female toddler is actually a dude because she doesn’t like barrettes and will need testosterone and puberty blockers” is taken at face value. WTF. I have had friends who have been bullied for a variety of reasons, including being gay, or because of race, or for being overweight. I was fat as a kid too and got bullied for it. Yet, in almost all cases, it was not taken that seriously. Most of the people just wanted the other kids to leave them the hell alone, even if they weren’t friends. But now, not letting a boy flash a bunch of girls is bullying if he feels like a girl.
Ok, here’s one fer ya: A high school employee training video from the Anne Arundel County public school system in Maryland, is telling employees that in order to follow privacy laws, school officials are unable to alert parents of high school students if a biological male will be sharing a hotel room with their daughters during a school-sponsored overnight trip.
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/aug/23/md-schools-dont-tell-parents-transgender-males/
The school district, which parents trust to keep their children safe, is planning on intentionally keeping from parents that their daughters will be bunking in a hotel room with a boy. I do not see how anyone, anywhere could think it is appropriate to allow teen boys and girls to share hotel rooms (much less educators, who supposedly are in tune with kids), and on top of that, keep it a secret from the kids’ parents.
Welcome to the Twilight Zone. I am at a loss.
Wow. I have constantly been referring to the last year as the Twilight Zone, but every time I read another account of what’s going on, Twilight Zone just doesn’t seem to do it justice.
Boys in girl’s hotel rooms without the consent of parents? LAWSUIT. I hope a parent will come forward at this school and sue. That’s what needs to happen over and over until school administrators get the message.
The people defending this, including the ACLU and various deep-pocketed transgender rights organizations, will just say they are not really boys and that there is legal precedent for their having the right to be recognized as girls. And if this particular flavor of bizarreness clears the Supreme Court, all such suits will be dismissed.
It’s about federal funding, so one way of looking at this is that it’s a very clever way to cut down on federal spending and also remove protections for girls in places that get the funding. Although I don’t know what the ACLU would get out of that. Still, that’s ultimately what it may well accomplish.
In Canada the same thing is happening. My daughter just graduated from a high school in Ontario and all the information I received about her from school came under her “male” name – except the official transcript. One time when I called a teacher and referred to my daughter by her real name, she didn’t know who I was talking about.
When she had first come out as transgender to me I started attending a meeting for parents of transgender children. These parents had obviously all swallowed the trans Kool- Aid and I got no support for my ideas. Several were the type of parents who were basking in the media with their stories. It turned out that the husband of one of those couples later came out as a transwoman, so this mom now has to swallow that pill, too. I was basically an outcast there. I used to keep going, however, to see what they were up to in the community. At one meeting there were officials from the local school district there presenting their version of the new trans protocol that they had developed with the help of these parents. It was a while back, but what I remember was the officials were trying to bend over backwards for these people and after they left the meeting, the parents weren’t too happy. I believe they were upset that there would be special bathrooms set aside for these kids. I remember writing to the school about my own input (which they had requested) and I never received a reply or even an acknowledgement of my e-mail. I wish I could remember more details, but I’m afraid the stress has torn my brain apart at times.
Hello Dorothy,
There are trans-critical women organizing in Ontario. If you would like to meet us for support or collaboration you can contact us at radicalfeministsunite@gmail. com. To see our Web site, just click on the user name above this comment. I’m sorry to hear about what the school did to your family. It’s not appropriate to teach a girl she is really a boy, especially behind her parents’ back.
Google’s definition of “manipulate”:
control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.
“the masses were deceived and manipulated by a tiny group”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mraw769OhY4
I urge anyone who cares about this issue and how the schools are reacting to watch this. A bunch of social engineers who think six-year-olds should be transitioned and that school policy should not listen to other parents who are concerned about what is being taught to their kids about this. Most particularly, opposite-sex children should simply be allowed to SLEEP WITH the sex they identify with and parents of the other children should not be told.
You know, it’s always aces when schools LIE TO PARENTS. And not telling parents that their daughters maybe sleeping with a boy or that their sons might be sleeping with a girl (regardless of “gender identification”) is lying to parents.
That mother who spoke first thinks a girl is literally anyone who has long hair and a sparkly dress. I have no doubt that boy only identifies as a girl because he’s been taught such strict gender roles.
I agree. The mother is a very good speaker and she certainly tugged at my heartstrings, but every reason she gives for her child being the “wrong” sex boils down to toys, clothes and hair. It’s so frustrating. It always boils down to toys, clothes, hair, and pink vs. blue or sparkles vs. dirt. There is no such thing as “girl” or “boy” hair, toys, clothes, and colors. These are just labels society has put on inanimate objects. At various points in history, pink was considered a masculine color, men wore frilly clothes, young boys were dressed in dresses, and males of all ages wore their hair in long curls. Were all those people transgender? Of course not.
That mother would rather have a “straight girl” than a gay son.
The thing which concerns me is this trope about how kids are good with whatever extreme thing certain adults want to push on them at school and using that as the reason for keeping information “confidential” and then that leads to rooming and toileting and changing for gym in the high school and not being required to tell parents. Because, parents are the problem.
Of course thinking, adult, involved parents are a problem. They have a vested interest IN THEIR CHILDREN. Educators think they are always right and that they can force any agenda down the throats of children and they hate when parents get in the way of that. But that’s what adults have to do. Stop being emotional about this and point out that confidentiality isn’t supposed to be used to push through social change.
Also, let’s not forget that at base, this trans stuff erases girls. It’s either telling some girls they aren’t good enough girls so they should be boys or it’s setting back work to get girls to understand that their opinions and feelings and safety MATTER. All this “that boy is really a girl” stuff is doing is grooming young women to embrace being a second-class human and agree to not being listened to or taken seriously.
(Also, as a little aside, I am absolutely astounded that a mother would take the “insistent, consistent, persistent” line and apply it to a kid who she transed, as far as I could tell from her story, in a couple of years. From toddlerhood to kindy. I do not think that phrase means what she thinks it means.)
Yes, that trope “persistent, consistent, insistent” used to mean if they stay that way up to and through puberty. Now it just seems to mean over a few months for a toddler as young as two or three. Just like puberty blockers were sold as “totally reversible”. Funny how 100% of puberty blocked kids go on to cross sex hormones and now the top gender specialists are pushing for earlier and earlier surgeries. Moving the goalposts seems to be A fundamental part of all of this.
That video was so depressing. It’s like everyone took leave of their senses overnight, and now these people think a 6-year-old’s prattlings are canon law set in stone. There’s probably a good deal of overlap between parents transing their children and parents who, e.g., run out to drop a thousand dollars on top of the line, artist-grade materials and professional classes when a 4-year-old expresses an interest in painting, or who enroll a child in a boarding school for young musicians when a kindergarten says s/he wants to be a singer or violinist when s/he grows up. That “consistent, insistent, persistent” line they’re so fond of should only be used after an entire childhood and adolescence of true, overwhelming dysphoria (without relying on any sexist stereotypes), not after three months or a couple of years in early childhood.
It was also ridiculous how the teenage girl claiming a male identity wanted schools to give students the right to go by whatever name they want. I’ve never been a fan of my real forename (one of the most overused female names in history!), so for a long time, I wrote my name on schoolwork as my first initial with my middle name. For many years, I used a kreatyv spylyng of my middle name. (Since some creep from a pro-bullying, pro-doxxing site has been cyberstalking me since April, and I’m not sure he’s lost interest yet, I’d rather not state or hint at my real name on a site he may be lurking at.) My legal name in school was still the name on my birth certificate, and I eventually grew out of both the kreatyv spylyng of my middle name and signing my name with the first initial plus my middle name. I also eventually grew out of the goofier and goofier kreatyv spylyngz of my first name I used in sixth grade. If schools let students decide what they wanted to be called, I don’t see it going very well. Going from my own experience, I could also see a lot of 12-year-old girls demanding to go by “cute” kreatyv spylyngz.
This might sound sort of glib, but I was thinking the other day… I keep hearing about childhood “trans” being marked by preferences for things like toys or colors. Suppose a culture associated liking certain foods with being one sex or the other. So if a child expressed a firm preference for, say, broccoli, or ice cream, or chicken fingers – the folks in that culture would conclude – aha! – that child must innately be (whatever sex). But to us, looking at it from a different perspective, we would say, well liking one food or the other has nothing to do with sex. But drawing this conclusion from toys or colors seems to make exactly as much sense…
Relevant:
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2716595-TransAgenda-BullShit-The-I-am-Spartacus-Thread?pg=12&order=%2F
Miep, that link to MumsNet brings tears to my eyes! I love the idea of woman after woman stating her beliefs on the trans-genda. More of this!!
And the Mumsnet kerfuffle has now been written about here:
http://www.mercatornet.com/conjugality/view/go-ahead-ban-me-but-ill-never-say-a-man-is-a-woman/18585
I am Spartacus; I stand with the TERFS.
Like many other people, I have been following the current Mumsnet threads on transgenderism with very great interest. I’d like to highlight a particular comment on one thread by a poster with the handle AGuyCalledHelen. Helen is a gendercritical trans person who has stated in a tumblr post that ‘”Trans women are women” is a lie that is as dangerous to transwomen as it is to women’. And here is the comment on Mumsnet, which describes an experience at a specialist gender identity clinic (GIC) in the UK:
‘At my most recent appointment at the GIC I thought I’d push the boundaries a bit by saying that I’m not delusional. I don’t think that we are actually female. It went down like a lead balloon and I was told that Transwomen are women. I thought I was going to get kicked out.’
Wow. So this is what happens when a guy with severe dysphoria who nonetheless understands perfectly well that he is and will always be male tries to have an honest conversation with the medical ‘gender specialists’. They maintain a blatant lie and implicitly, at least, threaten the patient with withholding further treatment (‘I thought I was going to get kicked out.’).
Helen is an adult with plenty of experience of life and (clearly) a good bullshit detector. But it is my understanding that adult GICs in the NHS (I’m guessing this is an NHS clinic) see patients as young as eighteen. I shudder to imagine the impact of this kind of gaslighting and bullying on a young person with a limited experience of life. Or a suggestible/vulnerable person of any age.
How is this held to be acceptable professional behaviour?
Exactly. It’s not acceptable professional behavior. That’s why this reminds me so much of the Satanic ritual abuse, sex abuse moral panic/mass delusion thing in the 80s. All kinds of therapists and fake therapists went along with it. And then at a certain point it ended. They dropped it. And no consequences. Professional standards in psychology and psychiatry are wholly voluntary. ☹️
Maybe this will help.
http://dailysignal.com/2016/08/22/almost-everything-the-media-tells-you-about-sexual-orientation-and-gender-identity-is-wrong/
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/ont-conversion-therapy-ban-may-see-some-gender-identity-clinics-change-approach/article24943976/
FYI: Ontario now, and Alberta pushing it. The courageous father in one of your recent Tweets couldn’t do that here. He’d be in court.
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
I’ve only got as far as the Gender Unicorn 😳, I’ll have to read the rest and comments later. What in the fuck is that Gender Unicorn?! First off what’s who you’re physically attracted to doing in this? And then why are they having romantic and sexual attraction be separate? Do the school people understand that that’s part of the non-binary/genderfluid subculture with all the crazy flags? I hope some of them do and are trying to get out of this crap. We need to remember that until the judge’s stay of Obama’s guidance last week the schools really had no choice. They’re being threatened with loss of significant funding.
This is all so extreme. The bizarre and sexuality-oriented ideology in the flippin Unicorn, the schools lying and deceiving, that trans girl on the basketball team and in the band clearly pushing for more and more concessions. And no science supporting any of it. The factual claims that the transgender ideologues make. And even if the stuff they were saying was true this is all still outside normal psychological practice. I am agog. It’s like the feng shui fad in the early 00s. Or avoiding gluten even though you don’t have colitis. Silly things. But this is being imposed on the whole of the public. Very very disturbing.
The reason for the banning there is Trans are on the MN mod. That’s their strategy. When you becomea member there you have to list how many and what “gender” your children are before you are allowed in. Real women/mothers who don’t want to list their children can’t get in: whose children are the T giving? MUMSNET is run by T now. Not only in the comments but the back end.
THe MUMSNET rising is the result of seeds planted a couple years ago by a separatist radical feminist who left the internet after so much personal abuse from other “radical” feminists. Dittany I hope you are reading there and here. In one year of posting there, she courageously and tenatiously educated MUMSNET women about the trans agenda. It grew and grew.
So sad…so much damage being done in the name of compassion. Reading these stories my heart goes out to every parent. Activism is triumphing over good science. Parents need to be equipped to speak truth to power. Here are details on how a new study in the journal The New Atlantis by two experienced scientists refutes LGBTQ orthodoxy, especially the now infamous Gender Unicorn: http://laelarrington.com/2016/08/new-study-gives-us-good-science-to-raise-sexually-healthy-kids/#more-3599
That study is good on transgenderism but it does also imply that homosexuality is an aberration. McHugh is pretty socially conservative, fwiw.
For a more nuanced view from an intelligent conservative source, see here. The comments are worth reading as well.
http://www.theamericanconservative.com/articles/the-evidence-for-born-this-way/
Thank you so much for posting this additional link. It is so sad that before the whole trans issue can even be unpacked, it gets immediately sucked into the culture’s political polarization.
The LGBT indoctrination in public schools is not new. It has been going on for over 20 years. Look at the online videos ,”It’s Elementary”. A 78 minute teaching guide for schools, produced by homosexual activists. Don’t be silent parents. Tell your stories to anyone who will listen. Write to your State and federal officials. The families of victims of crimes by illegal immigrants were finally able to be heard in hearings by our Congress. It’s way past times for the parents to testify about the crime of brainwashing being perpetrated upon their innocent children in the Public Schools. Some people are crying over terrorists being water boarded, but they refuse to protect innocent children in this country. Let Your Voices be Heard!
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