Parents, keep listening to your gut—not the gender therapist

A few months ago, my teenage daughter stopped trying to “pass” as male. She dropped the self-defined-as-male uniform, the stereotyped swagger and the fake-deepened voice and just—moved on. Her fervent desire to be seen and treated as a boy faded away, just as other formerly unshakable ideas and urges had in the past. And our relationship has never been better.

Although I’ve allowed myself to exhale, just a little, she will remain at risk, because every sector of society—the media, the government, the schools, medicine and psychology–is now saturated with the message that trans is real; trans is good;  and if you’re a “gender nonconforming” girl–one who prefers the clothing, activities, and hairstyle more typical of the opposite sex– you just might actually be a boy.

What did I, and the other adults who love her, do? It hasn’t been easy. In fact, for a time it was a living hell, a purgatory of slammed doors, stony silence, yelling matches, and mostly—waiting.

There was no magic answer. We rode it out. I learned something about keeping my mouth shut. About saying my piece and then leaving it be.  About living with uncertainty.  We didn’t cater to demands for instant gratification.  We paid for and encouraged activities that would get her out into nature and off the Internet. Mostly, we waited.

We drew a clear line in the sand: There would be no money to pay for a gender therapist, testosterone, or a binder. If she wanted to pursue those things at the age of medical majority, that would be her choice—and it would be on her dime. At the same time, we let her know that her clothing and hairstyle choices were hers to make. Not always successfully, we tried to calmly and sparingly convey the message that however she dressed, whatever interests she pursued, she was a female—perhaps an unusual one, but a young woman nevertheless, who might someday become a role model to show other girls just how amazing and truly expansive a woman can be.

Like many who read this blog, I phoned gender therapists during the weeks after her announcement that she was trans. Without even meeting my child in the flesh, all four of these therapists talked to me like this trans thing was a done deal. I wrote about one of those conversations here. One very friendly therapist, who identifies as FTM and whose website stressed “his” commitment to “informed consent,” assured me that there was no need for my daughter to first experience a sexual or romantic relationship before deciding whether she was trans. “Most of the young people just skip that step now,” the therapist said.

Skip that step? I thought back to my own adolescence. I didn’t even begin to have a clear idea of who I was, as a sexual being, until after I’d had more than one relationship. It took years for me to come to know my body’s nuances and intricacies, its capacity for pleasure, how I might feel in relation to another.

This same therapist signed my kid up for a “trans teen” support group scheduled for the following week—again, without ever having met her. “There’s nothing you or I can do about your daughter being trans,” said another therapist… on the phone, without having met my kid. Yet another therapist refused to talk to me at all; insisted she’d have to have a private appointment with my kid first.

Contrary to the myth promulgated by the transition promoters, at least in the United States, there is no slow and careful assessment of these kids who profess to be trans. The trend is to kick out the gatekeepers, and  move towards a simple model of “informed consent”: If you say you’re trans, you are–no matter how young and no matter when you “realized” you were trans.

All these therapists seemed well meaning enough. They believed they were doing the correct thing. But with each conversation, I felt more and more uneasy. My gut feeling that something wasn’t right led me to research, to question…to put the brakes on. And the more I read, and thought, and understood, the more determined I became to find an alternative. I started this blog out of sheer desperation. I needed to find someone, anyone, who understood what I was going through. I needed other parents to talk to—badly.

My kid never did go to a gender therapist. Never did sit in a room full of “trans teens.” If she had, I feel certain she’d be sporting a beard right now.

When I first started blogging, I got a lot of hate mail. In every anonymous drive-by comment, the hater referred to my “son” who would grow up to hate my guts. “He” would surely commit suicide, and more than one of them wished me a lifetime of misery when that inevitably happened. Even the mildest posts resulted in hostile reblogs from strangers who had not the slightest idea of my family’s situation.

At first, these anonymous barbs stung, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that I could rely on my inner parental compass. Because, see, I know my daughter. I knew, when she suddenly began spouting the gender-policed jargon planted in her head by Tumblr trans activists, that this wasn’t who she really was. This was a girl who, all through childhood, was never “gender conforming” but who was secure in herself because I’d made sure she knew, via my words and my example, that girls could be and do anything.

Most of all, I knew she needed me—not to blindly “support” and give in to her every demand, but to simply BE THERE, even as a limit; a steady place she could push and rail against. It was scary, and painful, being on the receiving end of teen outrage.  Because a teenager does have the right to make some of their own decisions. And because no parent gets it right all the time. (Paradoxically, part of being a halfway decent parent is knowing how imperfect you are at the job.) But one thing became more and more clear to me:  my child did not need a parent who would collaborate in sending her down a road to being a permanent medical patient. In fact, she needed protection from the very same people who were sending me hate mail on Tumblr.

Not so long ago, child and adolescent psychologists—people who actually study the development of young human beings—were frequently cited and quoted. These experts, as well as every other rational adult, were well aware that kids shift identities: try this one on, shed it like a snake skin, try on another. Younger kids go through a long and wonderful period of make believe and magical thinking. They are actually convinced they ARE the identity they try on. And adolescents are renowned for trying on hairstyles, belief systems, clothing styles—only to discard them after a few weeks, months, or maybe even years.

In contrast to today’s transgender-soaked paradigm, when a kid’s announcement that they are the opposite sex is taken at face value, it has been previously acknowledged–for decades–that parents are largely responsible for the inculcation of gender stereotypes into their children’s minds. Children aren’t born hating their sexed bodies. They only grow to reject themselves when someone they look up to promotes the idea that their likes and dislikes in clothing, toys, activities, or other pursuits are seen as incongruent with their natal sex.

 A child’s burgeoning sense of self, or self-concept, is a result of the multitude of ideas, attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs that he or she is exposed to. The information that surrounds the child and which the child internalizes comes to the child within the family arena through parent-child interactions, role modeling, reinforcement for desired behaviors, and parental approval or disapproval (Santrock, 1994). As children move into the larger world of friends and school, many of their ideas and beliefs are reinforced by those around them. A further reinforcement of acceptable and appropriate behavior is shown to children through the media, in particular, television. Through all these socialization agents, children learn gender stereotyped behavior. As children develop, these gender stereotypes become firmly entrenched beliefs and thus, are a part of the child’s self-concept.

… Often, parents give subtle messages regarding gender and what is acceptable for each gender – messages that are internalized by the developing child (Arliss, 1991). Sex role stereotypes are well established in early childhood. Messages about what is appropriate based on gender are so strong that even when children are exposed to different attitudes and experiences, they will revert to stereotyped choices (Haslett, Geis, & Carter, 1992).

But now, we have people like this: the mother of a six-year-old girl who has “transitioned” to male, writing storybooks to indoctrinate kindergartners. To suggest to them that they, too, might really be the opposite sex:

“Can the doctor have made a mistake? Was I supposed to have been born a boy? Am I the only kid in the world like this?”

Deep down, Jo Hirst had been anticipating these questions. And she knew she had to get the answers right.

It was bedtime, and her six-year-old was curled up on her lap. Assigned female at birth, from 18 months of age Hirst’s son* had never wanted to wear female clothing and always played with boys.

I challenge anyone to find me a single account of a “transgender child” which does NOT resort to talking about toys, hairstyle, clothing, or play stereotypes to justify the diagnosis of “trans” in a young child.

Our kids are being cheated of the opportunity, the breathing space, to simply explore who they are without a gaggle of adults jumping in to interfere with the process by “validating” their frequently transient identities. Kids are being encouraged to freeze their sense of self in a moment in time, during the period of life when everything is in flux. And even though key researchers have said over and over again that most gender dysphoric kids “desist” and grow up to be gay or lesbian; even though the latest research denies any such thing as a “male” or “female” brain, parents are encouraged to socially transition their kids, put them on “puberty blockers,” and refer to them by “preferred pronouns.”

For very young children, this cementing of the child’s identity in a period when they most need the freedom to simply play and explore—to “make believe”—is essentially stunting the child’s development.

Young children go through a stage where it is difficult for them to distinguish reality from fantasy.  Among many other things, it’s why we have ratings on films. A young child can’t understand that the monster onscreen is not real.

Research indicates that children begin to learn the difference between fantasy and reality between the ages of 3 and 5 (University of Texas, 2006).  However, in various contexts, situations, or individual circumstances, children may still have difficulty discerning the difference between fantasy and reality as old as age 8 or 9, and even through age 11 or 12. For some children this tendency may be stronger than with others.

Just exactly what is motivating doctors and psychologists to jettison decades of research and clinical practice in favor of a completely unsubstantiated and unproven hypothesis of “transgender from birth”? The glib answer is: suicide. But if a gender nonconforming youth expresses the desire to self harm, encouraging that youth to further dissociate from their whole selves (because the body and mind, contrary to the bleating of trans activists, are not separate units, but a whole) is not a responsible way to support mental health.  As this commenter said in a recent post on GenderTrender:

 Wow. Conservatives aren’t the only ones who suck at science. Brain sex? Seriously? If you’re allegedly born in the wrong body, why doesn’t your brain count as part of the “wrong body”? Your brain is telling the truth but the rest of your body is a liar? Wtf? This shit is as sensible as scientology.

And when it comes to teens,

 Teens often pick up on cues and assimilate ideas presented in movies/films viewed in the movie theater and other sources, (online sources for watching movies now eclipse movie theater viewings or film DVD rentals for teens), and while teens already understand the difference between fantasy and reality, they may still absorb or become attached to ideas that are powerfully presented in films but that have no basis in reality, the teen not having enough experience or knowledge to sort propaganda from fact, fiction from reality. Films, television programs, music and statements from celebrities can [and do] become a part of the thinking and emotional/psychological makeup of teens and children.

This used to be a “duh” thing. Are teens influenced by what they imbibe, what’s in fashion, what celebrities (like Jazz Jennings and “Caitlyn” Jenner and Laverne Cox) are doing,  what their peers are saying and doing? Might socially isolated teens be even more swayed by what they see on social media, while they sit for hours, alone in their rooms?

Facebook depression,” defined as emotional disturbance that develops when preteens and teens spend a great deal of time on social media sites, is now a very real malady. Recent studies have shown that comparisons are the main cause of Facebook depression; the study showed that down-comparison (comparing with inferiors) was just as likely to cause depression as up-comparison (comparing with people better than oneself).

…Other risks of extensive social networking among youth are loss of privacy, sharing too much information, and disconnect from reality.

My daughter, like so many others I’ve now heard about, emerged from months of self-imposed social isolation and YouTube/Reddit binges, to announce, out of the blue, that she was transgender. And simply for questioning this, for refusing to hop aboard the train, I’ve been labeled a “child abuser” of my “son”? Until the last few years, parents who recognized that teens go through phases weren’t considered abusive. They were considered well informed.

Not so long ago, parents and helping professionals neither interfered with nor bolstered a particular identity that a kid was trying on. Everyone understood this was an important part of growing up: to allow our young to experiment, to see what worked and what didn’t. It’s called the development of a self. It takes years. It’s not even complete at 21. The self doesn’t emerge, fully formed and immutable at birth. It develops in response to experience, to love, and to adversity.

Given my own daughter’s desistence from the idea that she is or was ever “transgender,” I feel even more strongly that parents are right to resist the push by every sector of society to identify “gender dysphoric” young people as “trans.”

So you bet I’m going to keep doing what I can to support parents who want to challenge and at least delay an adolescent’s decision to permanently alter body and mind with hormones and surgeries. You bet I’m going to try to save my own kid from what amounts to a cult that won’t let you leave if you change your mind, without serious social consequences. You bet I’m going to continue to protect my daughter and others like her from a lifetime of difficulty, from the rapacious medical industry that is profiting from the regressive resurgence and marketing of gender stereotypes.

You can also bet that I’m going to continue shedding light on the frankly insane practice of labeling very young children as transgender, grooming and conditioning them as preschoolers to believe their own bodies are somehow wrong and alien, that they must undergo teasing and torment from other children, that they must wear prosthetics to amplify or hide their own genitalia to be accepted as they are. Or just as bad: That the entire world must be browbeaten into redefining  biological reality such that “some girls have penises” and “some boys have vaginas.”

And this work is not just about protecting kids. It’s also about supporting family members and friends who are so deeply affected by the transgender narrative.  The trans activists, the media, the doctors and psychiatrists–none of them talk about the terrible damage done to the family system, to the fabric of close relationships, when a child “transitions.”  All the activists have to say is that the skeptical parents and loved ones are “transphobes.” No one talks about the fact that the majority of these dysphoric kids would grow up to be gay or lesbian adults if not interfered with;  adults with healthy, intact bodies, not poisoned by drugs and carved up by surgeons’ knives.

So we have to keep talking about it. We have to keep the lights on in our corner of the Internet, even if only to document this strange medical and cultural fad for future historians.

Thanks to everyone who is traveling this road with me. While I know we often feel swamped and hopeless, we have each other for strength and courage. And for now, that will have to be enough.


989 thoughts on “Parents, keep listening to your gut—not the gender therapist

  1. We are broken. There is no one to talk to.

    We trusted the Christian College we sent our son to. I encouraged him to get counseling for his lack of ability to concentrate, lack of confidence, and anxiety. They farmed the therapy out to an outside counselor and now he tells me he is a woman. He has already started hormones.

    The articles say that if he is supported and affirmed in his decision, that there is “ONLY” a 25% chance that he will attemp suicide. If we don’t support and affirm his decision, they say there is a 50% chance that he will attempt suicide. This can only end badly.

    THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO! Everyone buys into this and we are the haters for not embracing his sickening, brainwashed decision. I see no joy in our future any more.

    How do I find someone to talk to?


    • Dwight, go to and click on the red bar at the home page to start the screening process to be referred to a support group in your area. We already have 16 groups in the U.S. and Canada and even if we don’t have one in your location, you can be referred to a parent who understands and cares for email or phone support.

      The statistics you have been given are wrong and cruel. You are not haters and there is hope for you and your son.


    • Dear Dwight,
      We all understand your heartbreak. Ours are also broken and we are trying hard to maintain some hope that things will turn around as deceit is exposed.
      I know firsthand the pain of watching your child spiral full force into horrific choices and also
      The anger at those in a position to provide help yet they cause great harm to our children.
      Please do try to find a supportive ear.
      I am so sorry you are going through this. It’s an evil situation, but do not give up


    • Dwight I am so sorry. Please know that you are not alone. There are many who do not believe any of this nonsense and there are hundreds if not more parents who are in the same place as you, angry, upset not buying any of it. I don’t know where you are but can you not get your son out of there? I would suggest you seek legal help to get your son out if you can. Don’t even talk to those awful people who are calling you a hater. Don’t engage those self-righteous embeciles. They will only make it worse – that includes idiot relatives.

      Many of us have had our sons/daughters affirmed as trans on the first visit to a clinic. It’s insanity. You are not wrong. You are not crazy. There are many doctors who have worked in this field for many years and are speaking out against this. Please get onto twitter using a name other than your own and go to @4thwavenow and you will see many followers and articles about this.

      I don’t know if your son has gender dsyphoria (the condition that makes people think they are in the wrong body) but it sounds like they put it on him. They talk these kids into it and then the kids will start to tell you that they are in the wrong body and always were. It’s all bullsh*t. They re-invent their childhood and you are left in a gas-lighted stunned state. Your son had a lot of anxiety issues which is not uncommon for these young people to be told they are transgender. Know this- every young person who gets dragged into this has co-morbid issues (anxiety, depression, anger, borderline personality disorder, and autism). Many of us consider it to be cult-like but you are probably already seeing it.

      Even if you son loses his year I would try to get him out of there and if you can find a therapist who will work with him it may help. One therapist on twitter @LisaMarchiano would be helpful to follow. She is American. I am assuming you are too. (I am Canadian). Another person you can reach out to one twitter is @iforgetalready a man who transitioned and then de-transitioned. I believe he works in medicine. Very nice and knowledgeable. Goes by the name Angus on twitter.

      Know this: Gender Dysphoria is a mental disorder. It is not normal or okay. Men cannot transition into women. They can only become mutilated men. I tell you this because as long as you know this you cannot be hoodwinked into believing your son is a woman. He is not. These people are damaging him and our society has been lied to.

      There are some excellent videos done by Dr. Oren Amitay
      Just to show you that you are not alone:

      Here is one with Dr. Ray Blanchard. It will be a lot to try to understand but just hear the part where he insists that it is a mental illness and in very rare cases someone transitioning might be okay (after years of therapy).

      Last one:
      (Listen to Dr. Hirsh)

      The threat of suicide is real but over rated. It appears they are schooled in using it to control their parents. Expect anger and lies too.

      My thoughts and prayers are with you.


    • Dwight —

      In addition to the comments already posted, wanted to point out that there is a large on-line support community at:

      More than 600 members now, which is a sadly high number considering that the forum has not actually existed for very long.

      It’s a good, nonjudgmental place where you will be able to be in dialogue with parents who know a lot about what you are going through.


      • Good to know this. In light of the fact that statistics show transsexuals are only supposed to be 0.03% of the population then this would be a massive number of members. However because enlightened parents can see it as a sick social contagion it explains why it is such a fast membership. Let us all hope to see a quick end to this insanity.


  2. I have a 22 year old son. Who never once showed any signs if wanting tonbeva girl. While growing up. But in his twenties he moved in with his girlfriend who’s sister is a transgender male. He has broke up with her and has returned home. He says he was raped by a male felt like committing suicide several times. He was then put on medication to help his depression. Sometime later he tell me he is a transgender and feels like he is a female. The social workers he seen but him into a online suport group and no talks with a transgender community and had deserted the friends he had growing up and spend most of his time online talking with them. I have read some of his messages and one person he talks with had a lot of red flags that make me think he is also in contact with some one who is a sexually predator. I have talked to some local concellors and the just tell me I am in denial. I don’t think is the case if it turns out my son is truly a transgender I will support him in anyway I can. Right now I am walking a fine line with supporting him with his choose as to what to wear. But not making any appointment for him to see counceller because all the want to talk about is how to turn him into a girl. They want to put him on drugs without even helping deal with his other emotion issues. The fact that he was raped by a male does not even come up. Not only that as a child in school he was bullied a lot. I am worried that the people who are suppose to be helping him are just leading him into only one path that he is decently trans. Just because he say he is
    My gut is telling me he is not. He choose to take truck driving for his career choose and really seemed to like it when he done it. He always like things like guns and fires and still shows no interest in girl type activities. He has make up and 90 percent of the time he does not even wear it. I am so confused as how to help him. Right now I just assume home that I love him no matter what his choices are. But I don’t have the money to help him financially so there I tell him he is on his own. I leave it up to him to make appointment to see the psychologist. Which he hardly ever goes. He seems to be getting most of his advise from the transgender community he us online with. MY question is what do I turn as a parent to get the right help for my son. Someone that will help him with his emotional issues as well as the trans issues. All I want is what is best for him. Any help would be helpful I wish I new how to talk to him about it thank you for lessoning.


    • All the ‘forces’ that want or need to destroy the societal norms had to do was convince most of the public that something called “transgender” actually exists. How can you say, “I believe the need for ingesting blood actually exists, but not for MY son” – then not expect a movement intent on creating vampires would rob you of your rights to control the outcome. [sorry, the only example I could think of on the fly] Not that a parent doesn’t have influence, but look at how politicians, educators, psychologists, and hollywood/media have quickly learned that the shortest route to unemployment is to question the Trans-cult movement. Everyone is quiet.
      There are VERY FEW people can challenge the legitimacy of this movement without personal destruction. [Another bad example: Just like there are VERY FEW who could have challenged the legitimacy of Rachel Dolenz’s race – without being branded.] Since Bruce Jenner is a “hero” – I guess the only “hero for reality” can be a famous trans-cult member who has escaped and realized it was a lie. We may never have one of those.
      My daughter has figured out those accepting her ‘trans-delusion’ are also those same people who don’t challenge her, assign homework, follow rules, or burden her with the harsh realities of life. We only have some control due to the fact she is ‘dependent’ on us for now. If your adult-child is out of the house and independent, then they are surely lost. And it’s tough, because if you show the type of support and love that can truly bring them back one day…that is also the same type of support and love which might lead them to believe they are on the right track.
      I’m walking that line right now.

      There are plenty of folks with zero understanding with barrels of advice also. Not sure where I fall…..

      God Bless and good luck to you.


      • So beautifully said. Add to it that parents are also silenced because they are in a quiet battle with their son/daughter asking them to realize they are caught up in a trans cult net and stay anonymous to protect them and their familes. But we must keep trying in any way we can. Thank you so much good luck to you. I am fighting the same battle.


  3. Hi there! I am so happy to have run into your site. My daughter is 7 years old and since about 3 or 4 she’s insisted on wearing boys clothes. When she plays pretend she is always the dad or when she plays video games, she creates a male avatar. Still, she has not asked to cut her’s still long and ALWAYS in a pony tail. We let her wear whatever she wants, mostly i try my best to keep it looking neutral but other times i give in to the transformers and lego shirts. I always insist that she can do anything boys can do, but God has given male and female their own natural superiority. She seems to understand this more and more everyday that it’s ok to be a girl and wear boys clothing. we don’t judge her and i try not to put a label on things. However, on special occasions I stress that she will have to wear something out the ordinary because she musn’t forget that she can be both beautiful and tough! I wont give in to the transgender thing at such a young age. Their brains are still developing and they dont know who they are yet..heck, i didnt even know who i was until about 30! All i can do is try to keep her as comfortable as possible without judgement and remind her that she is loved and special and can always come to me to talk openly about anything.. I pray everyday that she accept and love herself for who she is..nothing can ever change her DNA no matter how many horomones she takes. I am sorry if anyone finds my words offensive i am not trying to hurt anyone, but I just believe there’s another way..

    Liked by 1 person

    • No reason anyone would be offended or hurt by your words. Just pray she stays off the Internet, T.V., and all media sources…because the Trans-Cult movement spoken of on this blog…gives NO room for little girls and women accepting their bodies. Rather, the new mission is to convince all young people gender is simply a social construct that can be changed with drugs and surgery. The Trans-Cult has no pity, no morality, no accountability, and no empathy. 20 years ago, just encouraging your child in their differences and supporting their uniqueness was absolutely the way. Remember the term “tom boy”? Not trying to worry you, but just saying this is NOT the same world. 20 years ago a “contagion” like that being spread by the Trans-Cult movement had to ‘sneak’ into your neighborhood, your school, and many other tight knit community organizations…which was nearly impossible…but NOW…all it needs is you to hand your kid the Internet on an iPhone, but even if you don’t – they are in school with 200 other kids who DO have them. PLUS…those ‘protective’ community organizations have now been liberalized and are being ‘sued’ for taking a stand on biological facts, like gender. Monitor EVERYTHING she has access to on the Internet. I assure you, THEIR content is much more interesting, engaging, and accepting than you can ever be – plus they have the ability to get more time with your kid than you have. Good luck.

      Liked by 2 people

    • You have a very good attitude. Please know that there is an up to 95% chance that you daughter will come out of this confusion. DO NOT allow anyone to tell you differently. There are many that will try to talk you into believing that your child needs to be affirmed. There is a great BBC show called “Transgender Kids Who Knows Best”. It talks about Dr. Kenneth Zucker who is a leading researcher on transgender kids. Trans-activiist bullied him and many other out of their jobs but he does not affirm children and had his practice for 30 years. Please try to find it only. Or just tweet @4thwavenow and one of the followers will direct you to it.. Please spend some time following @4thwavenow and you will find the answers that are not to affirm your child. I was very much a tomboy when I was young but grew out of it like so many other women. Good luck to you and your lovely daughter.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Just this weekend my almost 15 year old daughter randomly announced she thinks she has gender dysphoria. Nothing prior to this. She’s always been tomboy like but also likes makeup, pink, stuffed animals etc. She has two friends that are “transitioning” that are the same age and apparently their parents allow hormone therapy!? I feel like these friends are influencing her. I feel like there would have been signs that she had this condition. It can’t come out of no where! She is saying she has felt this way for a while but why where there no signs? She told a teacher this week and this teacher is already calling her a he. I am trying to be supportive because I don’t want to push her away but my gut just tells me that this isn’t her. 😦 I am lost and no longer feel like a good parent. She even made an announcement on Facebook today! I feel like it’s a train wreck.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your gut is right. These friends are influencing her. Keep her away from them as much as possible and monitor her phone and internet. You can support her by saying you understand that she is confused, but that there is no way of becoming another sex and show her all of the side effects of these hormones. Don’t bring her to any therapist who will affirm her, most will. You have to vet them very well. I think you should also talk to her school. I have found out recently that the high school that my daughter used to attend is now getting many parents coming in to complain about this. You have to go in there and state your case.
      Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

    • In addition to Dorothy’s great advice, I suggest going to TransgenderTrend to download and print out their school resource booklet. Then, present a copy of it to your daughter’s teachers, school counselors and administrators, and pass along the web address so the school can download and print out more copies. Well meaning education professionals have no idea the harm they are doing to kids by immediately affirming kids who are likely just riding a trend rather than actually being at risk for lifelong dysphoria. I’m not sure where you are located; the resource pack is written with the UK in mind, but the advice is easily transferable to any school, anywhere. I believe a US version is in the works, but if you are in the US, I don’t recommend waiting. Get the information to your school ASAP. You’ll be helping your own child and likely many others.

      Liked by 1 person

    • age 14/15 is hellish for girls and the age many natal females start toying with the notion that they’re trans, apparently. At least, mine did.

      Join this board for supportive discussion with other skeptics such as yourself:

      Liked by 1 person

    • So sorry. We ALL have gender dysphoria, which is why the ‘net’ they are throwing is so perfect. It’s like the depression commercials: “Do you sometimes feel sad? Do you have a pulse? Do you wonder about things?” – then you might be suffering from depression. We live in a world now where kids are overrun with garbage, junk input, social media vomit, regular media & political tactics to scare and divide, and they’re pulling back…

      …but even if they weren’t pulling back. It’s the perfect “commercial” those Trans-cult characters. It’s the perfect commercial: “Do you sometimes feel sad? Do you sometimes feel judged? Do you sometimes wish you were somebody else? Have you ever wanted a ‘blue’ pen, instead of a ‘pink’ pen? Well, most likely you are the wrong gender…and as you can see by what the media, politicians, a famous athlete [now dubbed an American hero], and all the scientists in the world [don’t fact check this]…Trans is now a REAL thing and you need to get help before you kill yourself, since you have a 40% chance of suicide!!”

      I mean. Perfect campaign. First you must believe there is something called Transgender. You do this with a few “hero” representatives. You must believe outside of medical diagnosis, there is a hidden condition just now being discovered that has NO indicators and no signs via testing. No problem – the false facts are ALL over media, and leadership in all forms is avoiding controversy and attack by going along or staying silent. Then you create the impression of a beaten, enslaved, tortured class of people – but you only use kids as the face of them. Condemn parents, and force accountability for potential suicides – put the kids in control knowing you have a way to get false information & resource media right into their hands. Then you use a bill designed to put money toward a disease – stick your “T” on the back of the LGB – and start getting some social media blitz going. Convince he gay movement, the Trans-cult is just as important, if not more, because barriers will fall when the mainstream realizes the “this is much worse” concept – so basically gives the full nod to anything on the gay agenda. Then, you make the Trans-cult not only cool – supported – and IN – but you make it essential for happiness and life for anybody you can ‘net’ into the fold. All the while in parallel, making connections that don’t exist between racial strife, women’s movements, and gay marriage controversy.

      It’s a dismal tide. It’s a shame the people that warned me about this YEARS ago – were people I didn’t like very much.


  5. Rachel you are a great parent. This is a social contagion – a sick fad. The fact that she has two friends who are transitioning is proof of how messed up everything is. In truth only 0.03% of the .population have transitioned (notice I have not said they are truly trans) so 3 of them is like the odds of winning a lottery. This is being called ROGD Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria. Just don’t give an inch on it. Don’t agree that it possible for girls to become boys. They can only become mutilated girls. Refuse to call her anything but her name and look up many of the girl who detransitioned or changed their mind. Give her articles that talk about how girls sometimes feel unhappy as girls but wake up to the fact that they can be who they want. has many of these stories. You are not alone. Once last bit of advice I would keep this very quiet if you can. That way it is easier for her to back down. Also family and some friends will upset you but buying into it. Shut down all conversation with them but do so quietly. You don’t need the grief right now. Circle the wagons – your family is in danger. Don’t let anyone tell you any of this is normal and stay away from the school teachers. They are indoctrinated into this transcult.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Going through same with my 13 year old daughter. The past year she unknowingly spent tons of time on the internet “researching” and chatting with god know who about trans and gay. While I have no problem with her being gay if she continues that path, she showed NO indication of gender confusion until she hit puberty and was on the internet too much. Always into girl stuff although not princess girly. Not into boy clothes or boy toys at all. Now she is trying to manipulate us with language she learned, suicide threats, and has depression and anxiety from all this confusion. She is seeing a counselor who is not trying to indoctrinate her but I feel just seeing the counselor gives her fuel and status at school. We moved across country so she is new at her school and trying to create an identity. I am so upset about the influence the internet had in her. Interestingly enough, s friend of hers at school is also “confused”. What are the chances? My husband and I are totally distraught with trying to help her. She’s totally cut off from the internet and we’re hoping after some time away and her body and mind matures she will pull out of this.


    • Hi Sarah, I just wrote some advice to Rachel on this thread a few days ago as she is in the same situation as you. I am shocked that trans is trendy but it is. Good you have a therapist who is not trying to affirm her. You should read my comments and follow many @4thwavenow. Many moms with your dilemma. Also look up @LisaMarchiano and @LilyLilyMaynard and StephanieDavies-Arai @cwknews. She has an excellent blog
      Good luck to you. Don’t give an inch on this trend.


    • Sarah, so sorry to hear. So familiar to me now. Four years ago I scoffed at the “phobic nature” of a sermon I heard, touting the dangers of the ‘gay’ agenda as if it was somehow intertwined with this great conspiracy to redefine marriage, eliminate gender, and generate a recruitment process for a cult movement calls transgender. Not only did I scoff, but I even counseled my kids at how ‘paranoid’ the perspective was. 18 months ago I was caught off guard, and now feel like a buffoon.

      Somehow, I’d been brainwashed into thinking I was a “hater”, a “phobic”, a parent ignorant of the strength of young people to adapt to the realities of a progressive, inclusive society. Suddenly, I was wondering why society had all these horrible thought boundaries, biases, and restrictive thinking. Heck, who cares who uses the toilet? Right? Plus, there are only 1 or 2 of ‘these people’ running around, and now way people will take this seriously, right? Hello?

      Suddenly, some cross-dresser named Bruce is a “hero”. Tortured and segregated ‘tran-kids’ all over the world are being saved, parents are being told legal action is in the works if they try to ‘stop’ their kids from ‘realizing their true selves’ – and a statistic is invented [and falsely I realize now applied to children] that trans kids are killing themselves left and right. They’re on talk shows, in the news everyday, taking over all the “Pride” pages at all the schools…it’s a bit incredible the speed this contagion has spread. Also, there is an idea being spread on social media, in real media, and by politicians that anybody who speaks up, will be destroyed. They’ve quickly made talking negative about the imaginary mainstream ‘transgender’ condition as ‘life destroying’ as raising a single negative word against the gay movement.

      It’s an idea, once planted, is incredibly sinister and darn near impossible to dislodge – and unfortunately – the LGBT movement is basically talking a lesson from the last few winning political campaigns and OWNING the message on social media, the real media, and the politicians. Young people have no direction they can turn to hear a voice offering a logical alternate, once they’ve heard [and can’t un-hear] the brainwashing of the Trans-Cult.

      Well, only one direction. Parents. Parents who’ve been forced to say “Gay is ok, but this trans thing…” and don’t realize, due to NO fault of their own, they’ve already given up most of the field and this movement OWNS the referees.

      It’s a dismal tide.


      • You speak the truth so elegantly. Everything you have said is true. Many of us parents are barely coping. The other day I Googled “Am I crazy” due to the amount of stress I feel and my inabiltity to stay focused on anything. The answer was yes. I pretty much ticked all the boxes. But we still must be strong. We must stay on social media and we must be braved. Despite my recent self-diagnosis I do see more and more people speaking out especially and finally physicians and therapist. Not a lot but the tide is slowly turning. And at home we must speak out that we were wrong and this ideology is the equivalent of a cult, a damn government sponsored cult. We have to do this because there is no other choice in front of us. Thank you my unseen, unknown friend. As you know there are an army of us out here.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. My 17 yr old son said he was gay when he was in 7th grade. November of 2017 he told me he is non binery so he doesn’t identify as male or female. He started seeing a therapist in December for his depression and anxiety issues because ALL of his friends have a therapist and are on some sort of medication…..I guess he felt left out! He wanted to talk to a therapist his other friends see so I allowed it. Now it’s March and he has decided that he is still not identifying as male or female but he wants his penis removed and he wants to take female hormones but he claims not to be transgender!!!!! This old hag therapist has helped to promote this idea and never once spoke to me regarding his depression and anxiety. H has self diagnosed himself with the help of this old hag as having body dysphoria. He plans on somehow getting the hormones and the surgery of which I absolutely do not agree with. Mutilating body parts is my line in the sand so he is living with grandma for the last 4 weeks! What is wrong with these therapists??? I will never accept this ever! For all I know this hag is giving him hormones! Help!


  8. All this capitalist propaganda is so morally corrupted and because children are most supectible for propaganda, such a movement is no surprise. Just imagine the $$ which are made by all the Therapists, Surgeons and Hormone-Producers! It never was about patients feeling better, but rather the rich getting richer; when one area is exploited, they move on to another. There surely EXIST Transgender people, because as some ancient philosopher once said: “Everything we come up with, we already have seen in reality”, but this is a damn rare condition, and mostly such people WILL have their life as they want, when they are adults and defy all odds – but those people, such as Alan L. Hart, indigenous Two-Spirits or even Jeanne D’Arc, which are true historical examples, are very rare, less than 1 in 50 000 individuals. Same with depression or ADHD; other very lucrative “illnesses”, which are now diagnosed in more than two thirds of the population. If these sicknesses are so debilitating, could someone explain me, how this genetic conditions did not led to the extinction of mankind? Today there persists something like a “Gender Apartheid”, which is utterly sick doublethink (yes I mean this the way Orwell did), because on the one hand equality of women and men is propagated, but on the other hand, one must just visit a children’s toy store to see that it becomes meaningless. So if a little boy by error leaves the blue section and thinks the pink section pretty enchanting, something must be wrong with this child. The child does not understand, why it should not enter the pink section, why it is forbidden, for the child does not posess the ability to understand the concept “gender”, but the parents surely will tell him “because boys do not like pink”, so if the child likes pink anyway, it will confusingly conclude “Thus I cannot be a boy!”, but really, liking a color is an arbitrary thing; oh how screwed up our society just became – a century ago it was actually considered, that blue is the girly color, and pink boyish, and the people from gender studies actually want to pose a claim that such color preferences stem from genetics? It’s just another way to create more waste and more money, by producing every toy twice as in pink and blue trousers – and maybe to sell the pink trousers a bit more expensive. But this Gender Apartheid continues so badly, there are fourth-graders in primary school, who already dress extremely sexed up and do make up, which is another result of gender propaganda, making so much money by useless makeup and creation of stereotypes such as “a true woman is crazy after shoes! She needs at least 20 pairs”. Awful advertising, which shows women just as a worthless object (for example this poster hung at the bus stop next to the the primary and the middle-school in the district of the city where I live in, can make a young girl easily question if she truly wants to be such a THING. This is heavy propaganda not everyone will follow without being sceptic. Unfortunately such children which are not easily indoctrinated so they go with the masses, end up loners. And they long for company, they long for a sense of belonging and yet they cannot find it, until they discover the term “Transgender”, which at first seems as an Opposite of Propaganda, as kind of a rebellion, when in truth, it is just a machinery brought into life, so the original propaganda can go on. The children are brought to support groups and “well-meaning” therapists, that they no longer feel excluded, They are told, that if they let the doctors sterilize and mutiliate them, their loneliness will cease – and surely it does. But for how long? They are pressured to suddenly conform another stereotype, but with the reward of not feeling lonely. And if that does not work for them, then read up the term “Otherkin”… Now this is too ridiculous for me to be explained here.
    And all this so the horrid capitalism can go on – because, how long gone are these days when science was done truly out of curiosity – if ever – because humans are greedy, selfish creatures and if they feel superior to another, mostly because of money, which is power – they will loose all hindrance of “ethics” and conscience.
    Well I am 16 and maybe know nothing of the world, and forgive my bad grammar, the due is that English is a foreign language for me, but one thing is certain: This devious capitalist circuit must be stopped.


  9. I don’t have kids and reading this I am happy I don’t have them as it is more difficult than ever to be a child and to be a parent. How on earth do you protect your family from this nonsense?
    I think it should be forbidden for anyone to start a gender change process before the age of 25, only then do you start to get who you are and what you want. If you really think that a gender change is what you need you can still perform all the procedures you want. I mean, Bruce Jenner was in his 60ies when he became a woman so why the need to have teens go through this, with the risk of enormous health problems and irreversible maiming of themselves. I do not believe that there are all of a sudden so much more people who feel they “were born in the wrong body”. Transgenders are a very small proportion of the population but boy are they militant. I read somewhere that one of the reasons for pushing the transgender is that it means selling medication which needs to be taken life-long. I also notice that a whole subsector of social services is specialising in this, psychologists, hospitals, etc… Often people working there are transgenders themselves so in order to justify what they did to themselves they want as many followers as possible.
    The thing is that there is no prototype of what a typical man or woman is. There are girls who are very sporty tomboys and there are boys who have very delicate characters and are very sensitive. We all have a number of more typical male or female characteristics and there is no reason to change our gender because of this. It makes my heart bleed that teens are pushed to reject themselves to the point of maiming themselves. I also think that this is sometimes pushed by a parent who would have preferred to have a child of the other gender.
    All these gender changes do not contribute to the wellbeing of the people who undergo them because the suicide rate of transgenders is still a lot higher than of the average population. They of course pretend that it is because they are not accepted by society. I think society is in general very tolerant for people who are different but it is a fact that transgenders often still look different and weird and you cannot blame people for feeling uncomfortable around them.
    It is so sick.


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